‘Twas the night before Boxing day, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Strauss;
The bats were knocked in and oiled with care,
In hopes that Mark Nicholas would never be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of cover drives danced in their heads;
And Richie is his jacket, and Punter in his cap,
Had just settled down for a long summer’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Punter sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
When, what to Punter’s squinty eyes should appear,
But an Ian Chappell, and a barrel of beer,
Chappelli’s mouth was so lively and quick,
“Open up you little dick”.
Then he yelled and the others came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Bill! now, Steve! now, Mark and Bob!
On, Kim! on Graham! on, Greg and AB!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now drink away! Drink away! drink away all!”
They drank so fast it was if they flew,
Laughing and abusing Mark Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, Punter heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As Punter drew in his head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Mark Nicholas came with a hound.
He was dressed all in trendy clothes from his head to his foot,
And his body hair had long since gone caput;
A bundle of baggage he had flung on his back,
And he looked like metro with a fresh shaved sack.
He was skinny and shady and hung like an elf,
And Punter laughed when he saw him, in spite of himself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
He let punter know he had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And started tweeting platitudes like a complete jerk,
And then Chappelli punched his nose,
And the others stood around him, trying to impose;
He sprang to his car, as the blood ran out,
And young pup cried like a small scout.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Boxing day to all, I’ll captain Australia out of spite.”