Tag Archives: ind v nz

jeetan’s big scalps

“I’m delighted to take Sachin’s wicket. It’s the biggest scalp of my career,”

Jeetan Patel

If I got Sachin Tendulkar out, I’d probably say something stupid too.

But is there a bigger scalp in world cricket than Sachin Tendulkar?

Sure, outside world cricket there are bigger scalps.

Godzilla, Barack Obama and Dakota Fanning, to name a few.

Now Jeetan has taken down Sachin, he could probably take down Godzilla and Obama, as long as they didn’t team up.

He probably couldn’t take down Dakota though, but if he did, he’d probably say.

“I’m delighted to put Dakota’s head on a stick.  It may look like a small scalp, but it’s the biggest scalp of my career.”

Jeetan Patel

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For Sehwagology the bell tolls

This morning I was sleeping while Sehwag was giving a rabble rousing sermon with some assistance by the former test nation from New Zealand.

That is ok, I think of all the prophets, in all the religions, I doubt there is any who respect sleep more than Sehwag.

Also I believe I have enough Sehwagology in my life.  Sure, another sermon would be fun and fulfilling, but I’m all good.

However, as rich politicians always say, there are a lot of people out there doing it tough, and perhaps they needed a bit of a help from Sehwag.

Now if they saw this innings, it’s all good, but if not, they’ve just missed out on an injection of life. A pure hit of adrenaline straight into their eyeballs. Which sounds much worse than it is.

With a whole world of Sehwagolosists out there, some of them are going to miss his best work. It doesn’t have to be this way.

What we need is some sort of system to inform everyone.

At first I thought an iphone app, then I was told that several billions of people don’t have iphones, and the truly under privileged don’t even have a blackberry.

Then I thought of automated phone calls.  It was then pointed out that it wouldn’t work because of the sheer number of people who need sehwagology, and the limited phone connections in rural backwaters like New Texas.

Luckily I had a moment of inspiration inspired by the mother of Curtly Ambrose.

Ring the bell.

All Sehwagologists should carry bells with them, and have bells installed in their homes, so they can ring the bells when Sehwag is on the rampage.

Imagine it, you’re having a snooze in the afternoon, looking for autoerotic asphyxiation porn, in a business meeting or studying calculus and suddenly you hear multiple bells ringing.  You turn on whatever device you get your cricket from and listen, watch or read what Sehwag is giving you.

It means that you’ll probably never miss another important Sehwag innings in your life.

Plus Sehwagologists can be known as the bell ringers.  Which, as far as cults go, is not the shittest name ever.

Ring that bell, people, ring it fast and reckless.

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