Tag Archives: iain o’brien

Cricket Sadist Hour: ‘Bowl dumb, Broad’ (feat. Iain O’Brien and Mark Butcher)

Three men, sitting down, talking about a Test.

It’s sexier than any full penetration interspecies porn you can find.

Is it Broad’s technique or his head that makes him so unpredictable?

Is the Bruce Martin Equation solved?

Will sitting on a bench help Dictator Dan be Test match fit?

Does it matter that Joe Root is not as buff as Nick Compton?

Do you dream of Jimmy Anderson inswing?

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An army of Gavin Larsens chokes South Africa: with Iain O’Brien

A depleted kiwi side beat a depleted saffa side as two other limited over series are played out.

But, if you don’t listen you won’t hear what I think of Mitchell McClenaghan’s face.

And you also won’t hear IOB expose the bombshell text he received from Shane Bond.

PLus, we say the word choke, and everyone loves that.

Listen hard.

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Talking women keepers and the student project that is kiwi cricket (featuring @iainobrien

Iain O’Brien talks about bowling at Sarah Taylor off two paces, and how I’ve never played Test cricket.

There is BJ(orn) Watling appreciation.

Discussions on where, who and how the kiwi batting order can be.

Steyn porn.

And we talk about Magic Mike Hesson, the work experience coach.

Listen here.

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Iain O’Brien and I talk about muddy Kiwis

Imagine talking to a former kiwi cricketer about their total of 45.

You don’t have to, I did it for you.

We talk all sorts of nerdy stuff about bowling first, and how old Bruce Martin is.

It’s just two guys talking about NZs happy tour of South Africa.


Listen here.

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Burning Blazers: The Kiwi Captaincy issue with special guest start Iain O’Brien

Imagine there was an entire podcast where an ex kiwi cricketer and current underwear mogul was forced to discuss the kiwi captaincy clusterfuck with some bum.

Now here it is.

Listen to IOB talk about everything from powerpoint displays to the fact he has no blazer.

This is a man who has actually met Magic Mike Hesson, the man who made Ross Taylor disappear.

Here is the pod, wipe it all over yourself.

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Save IOB

So I wrote this at cricinfo, and IOB is still not saved.  I’ve always assumed my fans are rabid revolutionaries that are just waiting for a cause to bite the ass of the establishment, maybe this is the cause.

There once was a cricketer more romantic than you, who decided to make his career by bowling into the wind. He had an extra “I” in his name for no reason, liked taking pictures of his own feet, and became Test cricket’s greatest blogger along the way.

He is Iain Edward O’Brien, enemy to ghostwriters, saviour of into-the-wind bowling and hero to those he tweets to. While most of us would never have noticed this hardworking Kiwi quick had he not talked about being called rude things by the Gabba crowd, we now know him, and we await his every tweet, blog and commentary stint with the hunger of Bon Jovi fans.

When he left international cricket to be with his wife, international cricket sobbed a big wet soppy tear at losing a true romantic.

Luckily for those who live in the British Isles, it was the cultural hotbed of Matlock that Iain chose to live in with his wife. This meant that while some cricket fans would miss out on him, British fans would get to see him up close and personal when he signed for Middlesex.

It is true that while playing for Middlesex, Iain spent most of his time with his butt in the air (not an Ijaz joke) with physios and doctors manipulating his injured posterior. When he was fit, he would pop in with a seven-wicket haul, but such is the class of this man that even injured he could keep county cricket fans happy with endless jokes about his injury.

Iain is truly a man of the cyber people and also the darling of Lord’s. Chatting to po-faced Middlesex fans for hours on end about the team they love, while looking resplendent in their pink colours. He even took to the microphone in between extensive rear-end medical work, working his magic for the BBC London, Five Live Sports Extra and Test Match Sofa.

You might be thinking, is there nothing this man can’t do?

Well, he can’t bat, and thanks to a scandalous group that also reside at Lord’s, he can no longer play county cricket for Middlesex. The ECB (or friends of Allen Stanford as some call them) has decided that even though Iain O’Brien has qualified as an English player through his romantic intentions, and that he could legally work for the ECB, he cannot play cricket in England.

I tried to contact a few other county players to see what they thought about Iain O’Brien’s case, but most of them were in South Africa. On holiday, I guess.

Thanks to the ECB’s wacky decision, Iain will probably have to play for some side in Matlock. You know what this means: Iain bouncing young villagers due to still being angry at the ECB. Is that what you want? Surely not.

In Ricky Ponting’s latest book he takes precious time out of talking about how the media abuse him, just to have a go at Iain O’Brien for an incident at the Adelaide Oval. I think you will agree with me that any man who annoys Ricky that much needs our support.

Let us help keep the most romantic cricketer in the world stay at Middlesex, join the Facebook group.

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Facing Iain O’Brien

IOBIf you have ever thought, jeez that Jrod is a bastard, I’d love to see him black & blue, bleeding from the eyeball or crying in pain, here is your chance.

I have stupidly agreed to face Iain O’Brien for charity. The charity I have chosen is the Zimbabwe Aids trust. Which could be funny if I start pissing blood afterwards or I get hit in the balls.

The date is yet to be announced yet as we are waiting for the practice pitches at Lord’s to be ready for such an important event. I do know that equipment wise I will be wearing a helmet, box, thighpad, gloves and pads. Nothing more.

This will be carnage. I am not a terrible batsman, but neither am I any good.

The whole event will be filmed by the Test Match Sofa team, who will also commentate and laugh.

So if you donate you will actually get the extra pleasure of seeing me get hurt on your dime, how could you resist?

It’d be nice if you donated, it is a great charity and I think I will have earned your money.


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Worried About A Friend

Written by The Skiver.

Kiwi cricketer Iain O’Brien has long been a friend of the Balls, and there are many good reasons why we like him.

There’s his contribution to the book., arguably the finest 300 words written by a former international cricketer in the whole tome.

There’s the fact that he’s one of the very few sportspeople to have grasped how social networking works. And the fact that he has an almost Gatting-esque appetite for curry. And the fact that he not only has one of the best blogs actually written by an athlete, but it promises to reveal what is inside his head and thereby proves the theory that, for quick bowlers, the answer can sometimes be ‘nothing for whole months at a time’.

It’s not even the romantic story of a man moving to England because he’s met an girl who lives here and wants to spend the rest of his life with her, even though we’re obviously suckers for that sort of thing around here.

No, it’s because he’s a genuinely nice guy and not a complete arse like some of the cricketers you meet – mentioning no names, of course.

And because we like him, we’re also a little bit worried about him. Because yesterday, he revealed that he was going house hunting. With Angus Fraser.

You wonder what the pair of them are up to. To put it bluntly, most married men are not brave enough to go house hunting without their wife in tow. Which can only mean a new business venture, or better, still, a tv series.

I can’t quite see them as the new Phil and Kirsty, but I’m convinced they’ve been lined up to replace these guys.

The Old Justin and Colin

The Old Justin and Colin

You can just see it, can’t you. Fraser stamping his foot angrily if the carpet and wallpaper don’t match. O’Brien doing the grunt work he’s done throughout his cricket career, dragging himself up the stairs and into the draught. In fact, yes, I can see it happening right before my very eyes…

The New Justin and Colin

The New Justin and Colin

(Photoshop magic courtesy of the pocket genius that is Ceci)

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Iain O’Brien is gone, but we shall never forget

I could have easily written a post saying how sad I was that IOB has given up test cricket, but I am too sad for words, so I have made an emotional photo essay instead.

Mt Athos out there somewhere.... on Twitpic

View from the pool side this morning. on Twitpic

Feet are sore, bloody and messy! But it's a Test win; who car... on Twitpic

Great bath!! on Twitpic

They're hung up... That's it! on Twitpic

IOB, thanks for the memories.

All photos were supplied by Iain O’Brien and can be seen here, you can also read his deep and meaningful thoughts here on his blog,  for quick sharp thoughts his twitter is here, and buy a book that he wrote in.

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