Tag Archives: dirk nannes

Holy Smoke

By Ceci.

dirkman

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Hilditch’s U turn

A quick now and then from Andrew Hilditch, Australia’s chief selector.

Then:

“I have not really thought too much about (Nannes’ move to Holland), to be honest”.

“Nannes’ performances have been good at domestic level but we are fortunate enough at this time to have some very good international bowlers available, as we had hoped. We feel we have the right flexibility in our squad with the players we have.”

Now:

“We are keen to look at different players as specialist T20 players in these two matches and in this instance we have selected Dirk Nannes following his strong domestic performances in recent seasons to have a look at him in the Australian set up.”

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Dirk shook up the world

There is always something that starts off social and cultural revolutions.

A song, an act, or a crime that grabs people and moves the world onto a new course.

We have one today.

What has happened today will be on par with Gandhi’s hunger strike, Rosa Parks on that bus and the Berlin wall coming down.

Today, magic happened.

A singular moment that purports to change only one person’s life, but really effects every single one of us.

The man, the myth, the wild beast, the skier, the multi linguist, the saxophone player, the Victorian, the daredevil, the Dutch, the world’s fastest bowler, THE DIRTY DIRK NANNES has been picked for Australia.

Women are fainting, men are choking, and autoerotic asphyxiaters are doing both.

This is the day people.

Remember it, what were you doing when you heard the news that the world had changed.

When a big rough diamond had pervaded the incestuous Australian cricket cartel.

The boys club has been broken down; this is a victory for real people everywhere.

Dirty Dirk Nannes is not a cricketer; he is flesh and blood like me, and maybe even you.

He hasn’t had his balls fondled since birth by eager cricket parents and specialist coaching instructors.

He has lived dammit, and then one day he said why don’t I roll my arm over.

Not out of greed, or ambition to wear special hats, but because he liked to roll his arm over.

And now this magnificent beastly man, this man of unnatural brutish grace is going to play cricket for Australia.

This is a special moment.

All hail Dirty Dirk Nannes, the finest purveyor of thunderbolts to ever play for Victoria, Delhi, Middlesex, Netherlands, and now Australia.

If you don’t have a tear in your eye you are a cold corpse like person.

Well done Dirk, well done.

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a godless tournament

The Cricket Gods hate us, all of us.

Roy goes home.

Dirk goes home.

Sehwag goes home.

And now Jesse has an infected groin.

Tell me there isn’t at least one player on this list you love to watch.

Someone who makes you want to tell that special someone that you have a headache just to watch them play.

Look who has replaced them.

Cameron White, Fresh Air, Dinesh Kartik and Aaron Redmond.

Come on.

Give us something.

I like Cam, and I think Dinish looked in sparkling for in the IPL, but look at the names we are missing.

Seems like someone is pissing on this tournament.

I mean Aaron Redmond.

Give me a break.

I fell asleep once thinking of him batting.

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Officially the world’s quickest bowler

He now has the two quickest balls in this tournament.

Quicker than Fidel, Lee, Steyn, James Hopes, Scott Styris, QUICKER THAN THEM ALL.

thepensivebeast

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Is this the team that Dirty Dirk Nannes was not good enough for?

Really?

This team?

Out in straight sets, while Ireland are through to the next round.

The only teams that went out before them are Scotland and Bangladesh.

That is it.

Dirk Nannes, whom Andrew Hilditch almost laughed off as a possibility, is playing for a team that is one average loss away from going through to the next round.

Ricky Ponting, whose captaincy mistakes came at a strike rate of over 150, is leading a team that is on its way to sunny Leicestershire.

Come on, how funny is this shit.

Go the dutch, you magnificent amateur bastards.

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my team kicks ass

I considered picking the Dutch team for this world t20 thingy because Australia didn’t have the courtesy to at least put Dirty Dirk Nannes in their top 30 players.

Then Andrew Hilditch dissed Dirk, and it became obvious.

It wasn’t until his name was released for Netherlands that I stated I would be supporting the dutch, and not Hilditch’s ‘a’ team.

At that time i was following the Dutch purely out of spite.

I knew they wouldn’t win a match, and that Australia would do far better in the tournament.

Well fuck me with a sandwich maker, both teams have played one game, and Australia is winless, and the mighty dutch bastards have won.

Take that Australia.

And not only have the Dutch won a game, but they are now far more likely to go further into the tournament than Australia are.

Had Dirk had the misfortune to be selected for Australia, he might have to go home soon, but because he has been picked to play a real team, he might be over here for a bit longer.

Suck my balls Hilditch.

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Blogging war

Today CWB goes up against the dirtiest and most hate filled blog on the interweb, kingcricket.

His poster boy, Rob Key, vs our hero, Dirty Dirk.

England V Netherlands.

Ofcourse this may not happen, as Rob Key may not even make the side, which would allow Dirty Dirk to be victorious.

But if Rob does waddle into the middle, then it’s on baby.

A victory for Kingcricket would be Rob facing the bearded behemoth and not going out.

A victory for Dirk would be Rob’s blood slowing down the lord’s slope.

Or just getting his wicket.

This is way more important than a simple England V minnow match.

Whichever player wins this battle will crown the respective blog, best cricket blog ever.

And the loser, oh the loser, will be so embarrassed we might never see them blog again.

Our future is in your hands, Dirk.

Let’s get it on.

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Cricinfo make it official

According to Cricinfo Dirk Nannes is no longer Australian.stop masturbating you pervert

Importantly he is still Victorian.

Today I see Dirk step out for the first time for the Mighty Dutch.

Oh, I am excited.

There may be tears of joy.

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Cricinfo has been updated and Dirk is hot

Cricinfo has put together their new look, and I haven’t really worked it out yet, butI like the look of their hot searches section.

Hot Searches: Sachin Tendulkar | Dirk Nannes | MS Dhoni

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