Tag Archives: david warner

Warner’s WACA

Shane Watson is dropped for bad form in his last ten ODIs, spread out over more than a year.

Third ball of the match David Warner gets a short ball from Dawlat Zadran. He moves back into position. The ball should fly over deep midwicket. Instead it limps back to mid-on. Warner drops his arms in disappointment and then looks at the wicket, as if it has let him down. As if this lack of pace is somehow an affront to his personality.

This is, after all, Warner’s wicket. The wicket where he scored his Test high score. One hundred and eighty runs from one hundred and fifty nine balls. With a red ball. During the day. Wearing whites. Now he was after Afghanistan.

This is Warner’s WACA. And the pitch had better wake up and recognise it.

Can Aaron Finch, or the Australian top, middle and lower order, handle the swinging ball?

Eight overs into the match, Afghanistan has two slips in place. Warner has hit two boundaries. Australia have hit two boundaries. Afghanistan’s greatest bowler Hamid Hassan is bowling on cricket’s bounciest surface. At the other end, Dawlat is bowling a very tidy spell: four overs, one wicket maiden, and only 14 runs. Afghanistan have not landed any killer blows, but they are there, still.

First ball of the ninth over, Warner crashes a drive through the off side. Last ball of the over Warner crashes a pull through midwicket. The next over Hassan touches 145kph and then crashes into Warner three times.

There seem to be only four batsmen in the Australia side, and then gamble, gamble, gamble, and gamble.

In the first five years of his ODI career, Warner was ok. He averaged barely more than 30, he struck at 83. He had two ODI hundreds, both in one series against Sri Lanka. He had been in and out of the side.

In ODIs, David Warner hasn’t always been David Warner. Trapped in this limbo between T20 Warner and Test Match Warner, he has just muddled through.

Warner could bat like he does in Tests for 50 balls and like he does in T20s for 25 balls, and destroy most teams. But it’s that pacing of innings he has seemed to struggle with. In a game of role players, he’s never truly understood what his role his.

A strike rate of less than 100 would suggest he’s not been told to smash it from the start. And a conversion rate of two hundreds in his first 50 games means he’s not really playing for the long haul.

What should ODI Warner be?

There are three knockout games to come: can Australia win all three without a frontline spinner?

Pull. Pull. Cover drive. Pull. Pull. Slap. Slap. Pull. Cut. Cut. Drive. These are David Warner’s first 11 boundaries. These are Australia’s first 11 boundaries.

It is batting. There is little slogging. Warner waits for bad balls, he puts them away. On rare occasions, he gets impetuous and treats normal balls as bad balls for the hell of it. But this is just quality batting. Quality batting at over a strike rate of over 100. He has 79 off 68. Or, more importantly, 79 out of 109.

There is Steven Smith at the other end, doing a very good Damien Martyn ODI innings imitation, but he is barely needed. When Smith scores a boundary, it’s not a slap. It’s not a pull. It’s just a tickle down the leg side. It is the Rest of Australia’s first boundary.

Is Mitchell Johnson still capable of destroying entire nations with the ball?

It doesn’t matter how good your form or rhythm is or whether it is swinging or seaming: if you are a fast bowler, and the batsman is scoring off you at the WACA, you are going to bowl a short ball to sort the batsman out. That is your birthright on this pitch.

Hassan tried this with Warner. Around the wicket, trying to squeeze those muscular little arms, he dropped short. Warner clubbed it. It was more of a broadside at the Associates than anything the ICC is planning to do. Mid-on saw the shot and turned to retrieve the ball. It clunked its way down to long-on.

Hassan barely turned around to see it.

If the rumours are true, Pat Cummins might not play again this tournament due to an injury, leaving Josh Hazlewood with a few very important games for a man his age.

When Warner brought up his 100th run with an inside-edged single, Australia had not yet reached 150. It was barely 25 overs into the match. Warner had enough time to make another hundred. Maybe two more.

A few overs later, he was dropped off the bowling of Mohammad Nabi. It was a chance, a tough one that hit Afsar Zazai on the chest behind the stumps.

Warner had been almost mute in comparison with what happened next.

He swept a six. From the fast-medium stylings of Dawlat. You know what they say about it being hard to hit low full tosses for six? Warner suggests otherwise from the next ball. The crowd catches another one. The next one almost takes the hand clean off a small boy. When Afghanistan find the yorker, Warner finds the edge and still gets a boundary. When they miss the yorker, he just hits them for six. Afghanistan try full and wide, Warner ignores the straight and leg-side boundaries and just scores fours through point.

Warner had long ago taken down Hassan. In this period he adds both Zadrans, Dawlat and Shapoor. Dawlat never recovers.

For the second time, Warner hits 10 ten boundaries without Smith hitting one. Five of them are sixes. He bests his previous best. He scores Australia’s highest individual score in a World Cup. Australia are going okay against Afghanistan. Warner is ending them.

Is this Australia team really good enough to win the World Cup?

The ball flies straight up in the air. It stays up there for a long time. Nabi is under it long enough to finishing writing a prequel to War and Peace. The ball comes down with ice on it. It hits his hands, and tries to escape. Nabi holds it with as little of his hands as you can to take a catch. Warner is out; Afghanistan will not reach his individual score.

Warner has batted Australia beyond critical questions. He’s batted them into a beautiful land of pull, slap and crash. Warner makes 178 off 133 out of 274. Afghanistan make 143 off 225.

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Dear David Warner

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minnows good enough to abuse now

When an Australian fielder leans in to talk, there is a good chance a batsman is getting some flak.  It could be professional advice, career counseling or questions about his family, but the batsman is getting chirped, sledged or mentally disintegrated.  Usually the word cunt is used, occasionally cock or mother fucker, and for those who play in the IPL, benchod.

Ireland were probably called some of those yesterday.  From the first ball Australian fielders were leaning in, sometimes in unison with an aggressive clap, and saying things that seemed to upset some of the Ireland players.

It wasn’t that many years ago that Australian players took to the field against a minnow with grins and little preparation.  Not anymore.

While the ICC limited overs rankings mean little to anyone ever in history of humanity, Australia wouldn’t want to be below Ireland on the rankings.  And so they played Ireland the way they play anyone, with aggression.

It’s also clear they had a fair bit of analysis on the strengths of the Ireland side, and shut them down.

It was in the 09 World T20 that New Zealand’s Iain O’Brien was smashed in the first over of the match against Scotland for 16 runs.  O’Brien had been given a plan on how to bowl to Watts, and he’d executed it, except he was actually bowling to Watson.

That is less likely now.  Many of the airlines that flew into the ground had the ICC road to the World T20 playing on their planes.  You could watch your opposition as you ate your complimentary nuts.   That’s not even including how much video is actually around on these players.

There is probably more video of Trent Johnston than there is on George Bailey.

The minnow teams of the past were often one man affairs.  Every successful team had a John Davison type player.

Now with Ireland and Afghanistan, it’s a team thing.  It seems like from 1-9 you could bat the Afghanis in any order and not lose much.  Ireland is the new New Zealand.  Everyone seems purpose built to fit into the team and make it just a little bit better.  And in the case of Ireland and Afghanistan, these are teams dominated by local players, not imports.

But what was also there was a belief that both teams belong.

Gary Wilson attacked David Warner verbally.  Wilson wanted Warner to know Ireland weren’t give up after an average first innings total.  Later on I think it was Naib bowling when Kohli came down the wicket and pushed the ball back before having it thrown by him it a fit of anger.

It wasn’t quite a Stuart Broad throw (no fingers were broken), but it showed intent, and got the full stare of menace from Kohli in return. It wasn’t that long ago Kohli and Warner were staring each other down in Perth, now minnow players are doing it.

It’s doubtful that minnow teams, even ones not at the level of Ireland and Afghanistan, will probably ever be taken as lightly as the great UAE side of the 96 World Cup.  The term minnow may not even be used in a few years.

Afghanistan and Ireland are a long way from being regular international winners, but if you can upset an Australian or an Indian, without even playing a shot, something has definitely changed in world cricket.

Perhaps that’s what Gary Wilson was telling young Mr Warner. Or, maybe he just called him a bellicose troglodyte.

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Warner is a bear, dog and caveman

It would be easy to say that David Warner was a bear who saw a small dog get run over and then went about eating it in an exaggerated manner by the side of the road as cars roared past.

But this innings was more than that, even though it was exactly that.

David Warner didn’t just go out there and get his slog on.  He started with sensible shots, worked the ball into gaps, but away the bad balls and then bitch slapped Vinay Kumar the way the rappers talk about doing it.

Warner used thuggish brutality and batting smarts.

It was a top Test attacking innings by a guy who smashes the fuck out of the ball in T20.

It wasn’t Warner’s fault he was playing against a team drawn by unimaginative children.

All Warner did was what any good attacking Test batsman would do, he sensed the opposition were shithouse, and he beat the living fuck out of them.

Sure, he did it with lofted drives, risky pulls and a sweep through mid off, but that’s the tools he has.

He’s not a batting artist; he’s a batting Neanderthal.

Today he clubbed India on the head and dragged it back to his cave for some non-consensual loving, cave man style.

This innings was smackdown.

I mean there was even the moment where his cockiness meant he got hit in the head, but it was all for show, because there is no single substance harder than Warner’s head.

They probably spent most of that delay trying to find a new ball.

I think if I had a dog that was a bit unruly and likely to bite random strangers, I’d name it Warner.

I’d love that dog right up until the government made me put it down.

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David Warner ends the need for cricket satire

“CA’s NSP announces David Warner will travel to Sri Lanka as standby player for Ricky Ponting who is returning home for birth of 2nd child”.

That is what Cricket Australia tweeted.

Well that’s it then, my job here is clearly redundant.

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Can’t look past the Future PM

Vic Marks at the guardian has an article up on the 10 young players who could make their mark in the world twenty20 thingy.

He picks Warner for Australia, but the photo editors were so enchanted by the Future PM David Hussey they decided to use a photo of him.

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The IPL form report of the current Australian players

These were  the significant players. Tomorrow will be the insignificant players.

Brad Hodge – Kolkata
365 @ av 40 sr 117 hs 73
7 wickets @ 23 econ 8.05 bb 3/29

Started off terribly, but as the team fell apart he became their banker. Eventually showed why he had made so many runs in this format of the game, happy to be 30 off 30, and then explode at the end. Was used as a front line bowler at times, which he isn’t, but he did bowl some very good overs.

Brett Lee – Punjab
28 runs @ av 14 sr 82 hs 14*
5 wickets @ 22 econ 5.55 bb 3/15

Only played a handful of games, but looked more like the late 07/08 bowler, and less like the heart break kid of recent times. Always does his best work with the white ball, so not a huge surprise he was too good for most batsmen at this level. His batting looked rusty but he will just be happy to be out in the middle and thinking about cricket.

Andrew Symonds – Deccan
249 runs @ av 35 sr 150 hs 60*
7 wickets @ 22.85 econ 6.66 bb 2/18

Won the final with 2 wickets in one over, and his medium pace bowling was swinging a lot, and was hard for most people to hit. His batting always looked murderous, but couldn’t quite cash in as he would like. Would be happy with his form though.

Ryan Harris – Deccan
21 runs @ av 21 sr 116 hs 9*
6 wickets @ 38 econ 7.41 bb 3/27

Couldn’t buy a wicket, but no one found him easy to hit. His bounce made him an ideal bowler. Was bagged in the South African press for not being up to it and then played as one of the imports in the final winning side.

David Warner – Delhi
163 runs @ av 28 sr 123 hs 50
Outshone Sehwag and Gambhir at the top of the order, but never really broke free. His fielding was probably his highlight, some of his efforts were amazing.

Dirk Nannes – Delhi
15 wickets @ 24 econ 7.51 bb 3/27

Started off with an average performance or two and the commentators and press questioned why he was in the side. 5 games in and he was being pronounced as rare diamond. Probably didn’t take as many wickets as he would have wanted, but was unplayable when he got it right.  Definitely the best performed of this bunch, and even with Gilly’s punishment in the semi, has come away with a lew legion of fans.

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The Ultimate IPL Guide: Delhi Daredevils

Sex Bomb

Porn Star: Virender Sehwag

Twenty20 cricket was invented for him, not that he would notice, he bats the same way in all forms of cricket.

Pole Dancer: Gautam Gambhir

Hard to ever notice him in the colossal shadow of Sehwag but is now one of the best batsmen in the world. Scores a lot, and quickly.

Boy Next Door: Amit Mishra

Destroyed Australia with his legspin, and should be Delhi’s front line spinner. Is a genuine wicket taking package.

Model: David Warner

Bought before he took Steyn down, probably as a back up batsmen. Hard to see him playing too much in this side, but probably better to have him in the sheds than bowling to him on a bad day.

Home made/Amateur: Dirk Nannes

A dirty, brutal, 2020 force of nature. The best domestic 2020 bowler in the world finally in the biggest tournament in the world.

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Warner gets a cold cup of coffee

Australia’s next Bradman has been dropped.

David Warner, t2o super hero, has been shamelessly axed from the one day squad.

The man who recently scored more runs in one innings than Don Bradman did in his t20 career, now has to go back to the 3 man crowds of Australian domestic cricket.

No lasers there.

He will have to carry his own bags.

His life is pretty much over.

And he may even have to take on Bryce McGain in his comeback game.

Life is tough.

Clarke’s thumb is all better, and Warner is about to get a dose of reality.

This is all a good thing, because if McGrath, Clarke, Hussey and pretty much anyone else who pronounces Australia without an L, is to be believed, we need to back off the boy.

The pressure is too much.

So I am backing off him, I no longer think he will be the new bradman.

I think he will be the new Victor Trumper.

That should do it.

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