Tag Archives: danish kaneria

What a big day in cricket

There was a time when I tried to cover all the issues in cricket in my own way.

It’s good I don’t anymore as I think today would have killed me.

Warne being fined 50,000 benjamins for knocking an official who on his profile claims to have won a title on his own once is worth a post just so you can talk about how the lost 50Gs might mean some of his face goes back into a normal human facial structure. Although it could stop him from spending his spare 50 large on  cricket betting to make a few extra dollars on the way out, or, it could force his hand to make the money back.

Tony Greig has come out against India ruling the world.  Perhaps they didn’t grovel at his feet enough when he was involved in the rebel league and made out with some fat cash from the ICL.  Greig also called Lillee a bit of a fairy, which is rich from the guy who wore a postman helmet to face him.

Hansie Cronje is in the news again (I mean really, this guy gets more press than Princess Di or 2pac) now he’s winning the Siyabakhumbula Tribute Award.  This award means he’s changed the landscape of the country, I do hope that isn’t a meta joke about his plane crash. And if you’re disgusted by my behaviour on that last line, the devil made me do it, and now I’ve found God and shit.

Stuart Clark is retiring from cricket to become a cricket administrator, but still reserves the right to play if NSWales need him.  It’s a very similar situation to Michael Jordan’s role at the Washington BulletsWizards, except Stuart Clarke isn’t cool, and won’t sell many Sydney Sixers shirts. Clark also retired from international cricket in one of the least needed statements in human history.

Danish Kaneria can’t play for Pakistan because of being too close to the grift Mervyn Westfield is accused of. Zulqarnain Zully Q-Dawg Haider may also not be allowed to play for Pakistan because he didn’t want to be involved in a grift. “Wanna bet” is the most loaded innocent phrase you can say in the Pakistani changeroom right now. The PCB is like every coke addled bi-polar girlfriend you’ve ever been afraid of.  I expect my lawsuit is on the way, Ijaz?

Stuart Law called England the number 1 team in the world because Sri Lanka are playing them.  Managing expectations is only a press conference away.

Also, just for something different, some in the West Indies doesn’t like someone else in the West Indies.  It might not have been in the news, but I’m sure it’s accurate.

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Imran everywahir

Danish Kaneria is sort of like Monty.

No not because they are both brown.

No not because they are both people who follow religions that are very Indian.

That they are both pretty boring to watch.

For Monty it is ok, because he is an English spinner, and that is what we expect.

But for Danish this is a huge crime.

Being a boring pakistani spinner is like being a straight and sober child of a celebrity in America.

It is not right.

Especially when there is a more exciting Pakisani leggie with a slightly better first class record and a brooding look.

Meet Imran Tahir.

You may know him from, Hampshire, Lahore, Middlesex, Pakistan A, Redco Pakistan Ltd, Staffordshire, Sui Gas Corporation of Pakistan, Titans, Water and Power Development Authority, or Yorkshire.

As these are his first class teams.

Imran is what is known in sporting parlances as a journeyman.

We prefer to think of him as a well travelled gentleman with an alice band and a killer wrong un.

Don’t get us wrong Imran is no Mushie or Qadir, but he has a swagger, and he has a certain sumtin sumtin that you can’t help but like.

I don’t even call him a girl because of the head band.

I have only seen him play for Hampshire, which obviously shouldn’t count for too much, as leg spinners succeed like welathy men in brothels in England.

Then again Kaniera has never looked that potent in county cricket.

For whatever reason Imran has never sought fame or glory by playing for pakistan, instead he has traveled the globe for a quid.

If Imran comes back to England next year I want to interview him, i want to know why he has chosen paltry pay as a professional first class cricketer, when he could be playing for his country, and making sure Kaniera doesn’t annoy us.

Pakistan obviously don’t rate form in county cricket, otherwise Mushie would have been reinstated and given a ton of virgins for his trouble.

Now that Mushie is gone, Tahir is the best Pakistani legspinner that i know of.

And instead of playing for pakistan, well assuming they still play, he is playing for something called a titan in the Evil Empire.

Such a shame.

Kaniera has never been written about on this site before, a leg spinner, on this site, from Pakistan.

This just shows what a colossal bore he is.

Danish, superstar that he is, has his own website, go here for the “your questions” section.

Things i learnt about Danish in this hard hitting section.

Salman Butt is married now.

And Danish enjoys Emirates, because he has travelled with them alot.

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