Achettup from Short of a Length has a go at winning a a signed free copy of my book with this effort, which he explains further here, but it is illegal, as it is over the 200 word limit, can you do better, email@example.com.
CWB isn’t the first instance of a mix of cricket and lewdness. And it won’t be the last. I see no crime committed by CWB against the game of cricket that someone else hasn’t committed before. Except for one thing.
You see all of us who were able to shelter ourselves from the crazy world that cricket has evolved to, what with revealing autobiographies and official cricket boards revealing embarrassing medical conditions, we had put our faith in one man. He alone told it to us like it was, throughout the sport’s history. He was our last bastion of hope. A shining beacon who uttered the memorable “Thats rubbish, when you’re out you should walk not correct the umpire” during one of the earliest matches. Years later during the Bodyline series he made that brilliant observation “Whoa, will you look at the knockers on that one!”
When Ramchandra Guha released a book that any T20 aficionado could use as a replacement sheep counter, he was busy tearing to shreds the savage bouncers and swing practised by evil fast bowlers. When a black man’s mother was insulted he rightly called out the perpetrators for who they were, a bunch of sissy cowards who cried when things didn’t go their way. And who can forget that fantastic “I’ll show you how its done Sunny” when the little master wailed during that test match.
In this man had we kept our faith, in his pristine existence did we appreciate all that the spirit of cricket was about. But Jrod destroyed him. Worse, he made it cool to destroy him. For this we cannot forgive. Because Neil Harvey was made to look like a fool when he asked if blogs were a kind of boot. It appeared he just didn’t keep with the times. On that chilly day, the enigma imploded. Jrod, You Bastard! Why did you have to go after him? You just ruined it for all of us.