Tag Archives: blogs

Email of the month

I received this last night.

I can only assume this was one of my new cricinfo “fans”.

“Lads mag bullshit has come to cricket, well done  CWB, another turd added to the ever increasing shitpile that is “most” of the net !”


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Pics from Canterbury and beyond

There is a new blog on the scene.

The famous Sarah of Canterbury has decided to share all her photos with the world, not just ones with seagulls.

On her blog is a bunch of new photos including Richie Richardson’s impressive stomach, Amjad Khan’s sex face, English flags and oh so much more.

Knowing Sarah we have only scratched the scab of what she has to offer so get over there and take a look.

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Do you Pongo?

Should you Pongo?

Joe Sayers Pongos, maybe you should too.

It is a media platform for cricket, a virtual clubhouse if you will.

I don’t know what that means, but it sounds more impressive than “Blog”.

It is a place where fans and players can contribute videos, photos and articles about cricket.

This blog is none of the above.

I hate you, and your favourite player.

They even help you make money of your writing.

I don’t.

Joe came up with the idea while studying physics at Oxford.

I came up with this site while abusing a bus driver in Footscray.

So you should go check out Pongo, if it is your bag stay there, contribute, watch the players virtually shower in the virtual clubhouse.

Pongo it up baby.

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Cricket With Balls turns two

And the cricket world doesn’t deserve us.

Cheeky cricketeting fuckers with their ICC tournaments, contract problems and failure to kill the 50 over game.

For 2 years I have tried my ass off to fix cricket, and nothing.

Lalit Modi still owns most of it.

Tony Grieg still commentates on it.

And Shane Watson still plays it, occasionally.

Cricket hasn’t learnt anything from me.

Fuck knows I’ve tried.

Fucken bum sniffing wank monkeys the lot of them.

I feel like pissing all over world cricket right now.

Maybe smearing my crap on it.

And then crying a little in the corner.

I just want cricket my way.

So I shall stay around, pissing, shitting, and crying on cricket until it does what I want.

Like any good two year old.



A member of the cricket blogging community has died.

Amy S.

You can read all about her here.

I could write a whole post about how important blogs are, how they allow you to express yourself and all sorts of bullshit like that.

But when a blogger dies I think the best way of respecting them is by having a 24 hour silence.

So in honour of Amy S there will be no posts for the next 24.

Wherever you are Amy S, don’t let the motherfuckers get you down.


An Ashes Argument So Dull, I Can’t Even Be Arsed To Think Of A Snappy Title

One of the drawbacks to any test series – and especially an Ashes series – finishing a day or two early is that, by definition, the press have to find a day’s worth of cricket-related drivel in order to fill up the space. This is particularly true if the England team fail to assist them by going on a bender (which they shamefully omitted to do, unlike the Aussies, who went clubbing in one of London’s less disgusting nightclubs).

Given the cricket news vacuum, it was inevitable that something dull would come forward and fill up that white space. But even by the standards of the silly season, yesterday’s events were simply bizarre. For those of you who had the good fortune to miss it, the spat involved the BBC’s cricket correspondent, Jonathan Agnew and a journalist named Will Buckley.

I shall keep the facts brief, before rigor mortis sets in. Agnew, on Saturday, interviewed the pop singer and serial girlfriend Lily Allen. On Sunday, Buckley wrote an article about that interview which Agnew took offence to.

Agnew, a man who, in his playing days, was not exactly renowned for his sense of humour, was mortified to see his interview derided and he himself referred to as being both ‘pervy’ and jealous of Phil Tufnell. Failing to appreciate the grave insult implied by the latter suggestion, he demanded that Buckley retract his comments.

Buckley, whose previous claim to fame is having a disconcerting resemblence to Paul Collingwood, refused to apologise. Whereupon Agnew decided that the only grown up way to settle this was to tell his Twitter followers that he felt defamed. Yes, that’s right, the man actually asked people to go and read the very thing he felt defamed by. “Go read this, folks, it makes me look bad”.

The argument must have raged for, ooh, at least 12 hours. At which point Buckley posted a comment to his original article, apologising for the content of the article being misconstrued by Agnew (but shamefully omitting to apologise for it being badly written, unfunny and containing references to Lily Allen).

All of which means that, although the Balls can tell you the story, we can’t publish the link, just in case two grown man decide to inflict their playground battles on us. Aside from anything else, it wouldn’t even be worth the effort of telling them to grow up and fuck off.


Cricket With Balls embraces its turgid yogalates phase

In the last 2 years I have spent nearly everyday day updating this site at least 4 or so times a day.

I love it.

I write for me, but I love that you mofos love to read it.

When I started I was just a carpenter in the scheme of life, now I am a semi professional cricket writer.

Fuck knows how.

But with the Ashes over I am going to change Cricket With Balls a little bit.

The Ashes took a lot more out of me than I thought it would.

I feel like Freddie’s knee or Haddin’s fingers.

I think I made it to the end with only a couple of collapses, a few poor days in the field and only one comedy run out.

But now it is over, and CWB will change.

Instead of being updated 4 or more times a day CWB will only be updated once or twice a day.

Never less than once if I can manage it.

I know that when some bloggers make it big (not that I have quite made it yet) they move to someone else’s website and just post links to their stuff from their old site.

CWB will not do that. Writing here is a good thing for me. It lets me be open an honest, and lets me push really fucking hard.

I can write that AB DeVilliers is a crazy Christian zealot intent on living in a glass castle in Jerusalem while trying to take over the world.

The times wouldn’t let me say bastards.

But unless some test series grips me, or something forces my hand the site will be paired back.

I love this site, and I will try and keep it alive for decades to come.

It just needs to be slowed down, I have written at 2020 pace for 2 years, over 3000 posts, and now I just need to pace myself better.

I have some over projects coming up that will take a lot of my time, and since I believe you will like them too, I don’t wanna fuck them up.

The balls, for better or worse, is here to stay, I just wanna go fuck up some other media while I have the chance.


Cricket’s Fight Club

Richard over at sportreview has taken a go at explaining Tyler Durden like sporting relationships.

If you haven’t seen fight club, you have problems, and this post might ruin it for you.

“5. Matthew Hayden is a figment of Justin Langer’s imagination.

Matthew Hayden scared the shit out of world Cricket by standing two metres outside his crease, flogging attacks with his swagger, self-righteous Christianity based verbal abuse, and those brutal forearms that could take an eye out. If you were an opposing bowler, seeing that maniacal light in his eyes was far, far scarier than seeing the headlight of an approaching freight train while trying to get your stalled car off the track. Langer got lots of runs, too, but no-one ever noticed.”

Go here for the rest of the post.

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Faster times with Samir

Samir Chopra, one of the oldschool bloggers from Eye on Cricket and some other bigger website, has got a new gig.

He is now working for Faster Times which is some sort of new blogging network in America.

So go over there and see what he is upto.


Go fantasy it up

I used to run my own fantasy leagues (I still owe one Australian a free post for winning one).

Now I don’t.

But apparently people still play in them.

I didn’t realise that things happened outside of cricket with balls.

But sports pundit have informed me that fantasy cricket is going on without me, and they have suggested that you go over there without me.

It’s not cheating, because I got paid for this plug.

So everyone wins.

They also have cricket news over there, and no one calls Harsha Bhogle the Fake IPL Player.

And to round it all out they have a cricket review section, which has information on the Kiwis new women’s cricket captain, she is not Haidee Tiffen.

So go and fantasy, news and article with sports pundit.