Tag Archives: ab de villiers

AB de Villiers rocks out with stethoscopes

The bio for AB de Villier’s latest song says, “It’s no secret that sports and music are a perfect match”. Isn’t it? Now I feel out of the loop.

So I watched AB’s song to see this sporting musical symmetry that AB hinted at with “show them who you are”.

I’m not going to take you through the whole video, it speaks for it self. Yes it is in Afrikaans, but if you can’t get the song’s message with the subtle video only, they’ve failed in their efforts to be as didactic as possible.

What I want to talk about is not the uplifting message of the song, nor do I want to talk about the effect of when Ampie Du Preez morphs out of AB, even the passing the digital fire scene can be ignored and I’ll even overlook Francoise Du Plessis cameo.

No, what I want to talk about happens at the 34 second mark of the video, and it may be the creepiest thing to ever happen in a soft cock uplifting pseudo chrisitan cricket music video ever.

AB puts a stethoscope on the kid’s neck, the end of the Stethoscope goes straight down the pants* of AB de Villiers.

you're going to grow up nice

what do you hear?

His genitals must be magical though, as that kid grows up to be a doctor.

There is almost nothing missing from this music video; gender stereotyping, creepy interplay with children, Francois Du Plessis, Christian imagery, suicide, soft rock angst, hope, American footballs, slow motion running, rocking out in a mist, wow, it really does have everything.

When people ask is there nothing AB de Villiers can do, we now know the answer is no.

*The stethoscope actually goes into his pocket, but considering the often creep nature of this video, they should have used another pocket.

Thanks to the kind folks at SA cricket blog for showing us this gem.

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AB: more than just a singer

There was a time that AB DeVilliers was just a young pop star trying to make his way in the world.

Those times have gone.

Now he is South Africa’s best batsman.

By some distance.

They say AB is good at everything, that isn’t right, but he is better at batting than Graeme, Hashim, Jacques and JP, which makes him the best batsman in his side at the moment.

If you hate him you are going to have to get used to seeing his perfect smile, cause he can bat.

Today he wasn’t tested, the kiwis were testing out there 4 bowlers and 2 keepers strategy, but he was still way better than anyone else in his team.

We notice that alot, sometimes the SA batting looks a little nothing, but then AB comes along and we forget all about the fact that two of their top 3 in ODI cricket look like they bat in quicksand.

So he must be good.

Just take a moment out to think of Jacques Kallis in quicksand.

I am still confused as to how to think about AB.

Should I hate him because he could be really good and South African?

Or like him because he could be great and smiles like an angel in a mentos ad?

It is very confusing.

I once decided to like JP Duminy, and then he went a bit shit.

At one stage I liked Pat Symocox, but he is mates with Dean Jones and Tony Greig, so that was a mistake.

I still love Paul Adams, but I fear I am the only one.

Imran Tahir is my current favourite legspinner of all the worlds, and he isn’t even close to getting a game.

And Andre Nel’s career went down hill from the time I mentioned that me and him would take over the world together.

So perhaps it is better for AB if I hate him.

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Dirty Dirk’s difficult second match

The big fella has the new ball.

Matthew Hayden, he used to play for Australia, is out there with an under 12 player.

Dirk and Haydos have more masculinity than most rugby sides.

What will happen?

Dirk is smiling, he steams in first ball at 148 clicks, and Partiv just frightens it to midwicket.

Another one slams into the bat, Partiv decides he must get off strike and he steals a single.

Here it is mother fuckers, DIRK V JESUS.

Jesus runs down the wicket and slogs at DIrk, its in the air, crickets renaissance man, AB,  is under it, he’s following it and following it, and he has fucken dropped it.

Dirk is fired up next one is 148 again and Jesus misses it.

Dirk thinks he is going to bring down the son of God now and fires one in and Jesus rides the luck of the holy goat and inside edges it for 4.

Heartbreak for our hero.

The last ball Dirk has nothing left and Jesus smites it from his vision for 4.

Great over from Dirk, and it went for 11, Jesus wins.

Come to think of it AB is a born again Christian, he probably dropped him on purpose.

Dirk is back for another go, this time to the twelve year old and almost takes his throat out first nut, quick, firery and sexy.

Next one is a ball tearing yorker, Partiv seems to have no idea where the ball is, but he gets it out, and Jesus takes the strike. same as last over.

Yet again Jesus comes straight after our Dirk, he doesn’t quite get it, but he forearms it through midwicket.

Jesus just slogs at this one, he beats cover but has mothing behind it and only gets two.

Dirk needs to grunt this one, and he does, short, fast, hostile, but it just limp dicks it to nowhere, Dirk wins the battle, but scowls at life for the ball not carrying to a fielder.

The twelve year old just bunts one for a single.

Dirk is unrewarded again, but he is breathing fire.

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Ab V Lee V Me, Cricket With Balls Idol

I was going to have a 24 hour rest period from the blog, but then i thought that we can’t let the fires, or mass murderers win.

Instead i will try and make people laugh, and or cringe.

So here is the question, who makes the best music, AB Devilliers, Brett Lee, or Jrod.

Exhibit A, AB, Brought to my attention by King Cricket.


Exhibit B, Lee, I found this in a bargain bin once, cost me 2 dollars.


Exhibit C, Jrod, I walked into the sound booth with no idea, and a guitar I can’t play and made this.


In the comments say who you like the best, be honest, don’t spare their feelings.

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Ab DeVilliers stays sharp

That is why you are on the couch, and he is playing test cricket.

Perhaps you should start staying sharper in your life.

Where did i find out about his sharpness, his website.

I learnt all sorts of things about him.

“He writes songs and plays the guitar, and is planning to release a CD before long.

AB’s favourite song is Needs, by Collective Soul.

His favourite films are Gladiator and A River Runs Through It.”

He also writes a diary, not a blog, Abraham Benjamin is old school.

No talk of perfect jeans.

“We’ve all had our ice baths, filled our stomachs, rehydrated and are ready for what’s going to be a big day of test cricket tomorrow!!!

Stay sharp

And he is afraid of snakes.


Catch Vs Appeal debate

In Sydney Anil Kumble rehashed the old Bill Woodford quote about one side playing cricket.

Amongst the many things he was mentioning was Australia’s policy of claiming any catch where the ball ends up in someone’s hand.

This is the same man who appeals for wickets that on occasion he would know could not be out.

And I don’t blame him, so would I.

But why can bowlers appeal for wickets that they know are not out, and we just brush them off, and fielders can hold aloft dodgy catches and they are vilified like they just sodomized a queen.

Both players are appealing for wickets that they know are not out.

In the current test AB claimed a catch that had a bit of grass on it.

When South Africa batted, the English team appealed for an LBW for Amla that may not have hit a 7th stump.

The wicket keeper, even one as rubbish as Tim Ambrose, would have known one hundred percent it was not out.

The next day Monty appealed for an LBW where the ball hit the pad outside off and was spinning further away from off.

Monty may not have known it hit the batsman just outside the line, but he knew it was a orthodox ball, that was spinning away from the stumps, and could not have possibly hit the stumps.

No one calls him a cheat, no one bags him.

The games just goes on.

AB is booed and trashed.


Is there a difference between a fielding team appealing for a decision they know isn’t out, and a fielder doing the same?

Cricket is a game of appealing.

I wonder how many bowlers have never appealed for wickets they don’t believe are out.

I’d say less than 10%, but how many of them are known as cheats?

If a fielder does it once in a career, they can be branded cheats forever.

Seems a bit odd, and remember this is a bowler writing this, one who has appealed for all sorts of things, and even didn’t call back a batsman who was given out bowled, when the ball obviously rebounded off the keeper.

And please don’t say, but the fielder knows he didn’t catch it, where as the bowler is unsure, bowlers may think most of the time they appeal it’s out, but there are more than one an innings that they know aren’t out.


AB is not a horse

AB de Villiers is one of those strange duck South Africans.

He doesn’t like being booed, and he doesn’t like to cheat.

You could say he is the new breed of South African batsmen who aren’t quite as tough and brutal as the old school.

Amla, looked like a confused little boy after his non walking walk.

McKenzie has issues with toilet seats.

Prince has his mittens.

Compare that with their batsmen of old.

Kepler Wessels might have been uglier to watch than Liza Minelli in the morning, but he was a tough bastard.

Brian McMillan once threatened Warne with death.

And Cullinan had the sort of arrogance that was unbelievable, even against Australia, whom he couldn’t score a cracker against.

This is what AB had to say about being booed.

“It was the first time I’d ever been booed walking out and that was very disappointing. It hurt quite a lot.”

Hurt, it’s a badge of honour.

Being booed means you have pissed off the opposition supporters to such a degree that they despise you.

Opposition supporters should love or hate you, if you are in between, you aren’t good enough.

Then he talks about the catch.

“I’m very happy it was referred and given not out, because I would never have been able to go to bed at night if I’d known he had to walk off the field.”

Ofcourse you’d be able to go to bed at night, you’re not a horse, you can’t sleep standing up.

You seem like such a snivelling little turd that we all now believe you thought you took the catch.

But who cares, you claimed a catch, the umpires make the decision.

Do you think the bowlers don’t go to bed after they appeal for an LB they know isn’t out but you are given, no, they go to bed, and they sleep well, very, very well.

AB, embrace the boos and for the aliens sake sleep in a fucken bed.

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Ab twice the team India is

How do you know when you’re really struggling in a test match.

It’s the moment AB DeVilliers is not out for over 200 runs, and you remember back to your side making 76.

When a dude averages 36 and makes a hundred about every ten tests, you don’t expect him to make a hundred on a wicket where you have made 76.

I don’t ever expect Ab to make runs.

I just expect him to annoy me with that grin of his.

So how sh1t does India feel right now?

Do they feel like they couldn’t get it up?

Do they feel like they couldn’t get it up with Russian twins?

Do they feel like they just accidentally slept with their sister?

Do they feel like they just accidentally slept with their mother?

Do they feel like they just accidentally slept with their father?

It’s hard to say.

What is good to know is Ashwell Prince didn’t make runs.

Maybe not good news for India, but it makes me smile.

But Indian supporters do not feel too bad, VVS is still playing for you, and if he makes 600 runs in the second innings, like I expect him too, you are a 50/50 chance of winning this.

Guess what Toto, we’re not playing on the Waca anymore.

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Amla attack

South Africa have turned up in India with a plethora of players who are simply not that good.

Not all of them are quota selections.

The Dean Jones suspected terrorist Amla is chief in point.

The dude is a grafter playing one level beyond his capabilities.

He is the sort of batsmen you would expect in a Minnow 7 years after their admission.

If the man payed two attacking shots in a row he would spontaneously combust.

My thoughts on Ashwell Prince are well known, I think he plays test cricket like the little kid in the play ground with mittens on.

AB DeVilliers and Neil MacKenzie remind me of many of the young South African batsmen of recent times.

They come into the side with pure techniques, good eyes and cocky attitudes.

3 or 4 years later they all average in their 30’s and commentators are at pains to mention how good their fielding is.

Graeme Smith is a batsmen who averages 22 against Australia, and over 50 against all the minnows and England. So he’s irrelevant.

Jacques Kallis is the only full on ridgy didge a ok test batsmen in heir side, and well he is Jacques Kallis.

Why am I writing all this, because at stumps today of the 1st test between South Africa and India, South Africa are 4 for 304.


Imagine what score they would be if anyone of them were any good.

And is Ishant Sharma having his adams apple removed, because that is the only excuse that is valid to not have him in ahead of Sreesanth.

Day One to South Africa in a canter.

Oh and Morne Morkel is playing, he shall henceforth be known as the Evil Morne Morkel.

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