Category Archives: Uncategorized

This is not cricket with balls

This is cricket with balls.


How did it end?

Well it was pitched near the crack, and he tried to slog it over mid on.

Was it ugly?

Yeah, but he kept his head down, and at least it was an attacking shot.

What now?

He will go off to make cook books and do lifestyle shows with Stuart MacGill.

Is that a fate worse than death?



Naked cricket theme song

Cricket With Balls are no longer the only cricket blog with a theme song.

Gaurav over at Naked Cricket has one too.

Although unlike CWB’s theme tune, you don’t have the pleasure of hearing him sing it like you do with mine.

Here is some of this work,

“I’m the toss
I’m the coin tossed
I’m the pitch report
I’m the soil
I’m the key that soils”

I’m the toss, indeed.

So get over there a see the whole thing.

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blogger of the year

When people who wear beige give you the title of Blogger of the year, you know its an honour.

Not directly because of the beige.

But because as utterly rubbish as New Zealand has become at cricket, they are pound for pound the best cricket bloggers going around.

So to snatch the award given by New Zealand cricket’s best cheerleaders is indeed an honour.

The “BEst cricket blogger award” was given as part of the Sideline Slogger’s (Beige’s official blogging mouth piece) 2008 Miscellaneous Cricket Awards (part 2) and I am wedged inbetween Jesse Ryder and Ricky Ponting.

So i hope they both aren’t drinking.

So thank you Beige brigade, and all your minions.

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the hunter

This is a homage to Roy, and to Kevin Peter Hall.

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Vics lose

Two losses in 4 years of 2020 cricket isn’t too shabby.

And it was only in Geelong, so it doesn’t really count.

If you don’t want to read about the vics, but just want to see Dirty Dirk.


ICC’s hall of fame

Well Pitched has alerted me to the ICC Hall of Fame that is being created.

He thinks this list is the one they are using.

Initial 55 inductees: Sydney Barnes, Bishan Bedi, Alec Bedser, Richie Benaud, Allan Border, Ian Botham, Geoffrey Boycott, Donald Bradman, Greg Chappell, Ian Chappell, Denis Compton, Colin Cowdrey, Kapil Dev, Sunil Gavaskar, Lance Gibbs, Graham Gooch, David Gower, WG Grace, Tom Graveney, Gordon Greenidge, Richard Hadlee, Walter Hammond, Neil Harvey, George Headley, Jack Hobbs, Michael Holding, Leonard Hutton, Rohan Kanhai, Imran Khan, Alan Knott, Jim Laker, Harold Larwood, Dennis Lillee, Ray Lindwall, Clive Lloyd, Hanif Mohammad, Rodney Marsh, Malcolm Marshall, Peter May, Javed Miandad, Keith Miller, Bill O’Reilly, Graeme Pollock, Wilfred Rhodes, Barry Richards, Viv Richards, Andy Roberts, Garfield Sobers, Brian Statham, Fred Trueman, Derek Underwood, Clyde Walcott, Everton Weekes, Frank Woolley, Frank Worrell.

Surely it can’t be, no Trumper, Hall or Richard Chee Quee.

Luckily I have contacts, and the proper list was given to me.

Sutherland, Modi, Clarke, and Speed.


round and round

How confused is Australia?

Andrew McDonald has 2 first class hundreds in 44 matches.

Brad Haddin has 11, with a test hundred, from 100 odd first class matches.

Cameron White has 13 from 90odd matches.

They all average pretty much 40, McDonald 38, Haddin 41 and White 40.

This is where it gets interesting.

In India Haddin batted at 7, and White at 8.

In Sydney Haddin is still at 7, and McDonald at 6.

For Victoria, White bats at 5 and McDonald at 6.

You see what I am saying.


White bats before McDonald, who bats before Haddin, who bats before White.

That is the Australian middle order circle of doom.

Lucky they all aren’t playing at the same time, Ponting’s head may have exploded putting the team in.

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Snape takes stock

“When I speak to a player – Morne Morkel, say – I tell him that he is the managing director of Morne Morkel Limited, and that everything he does, whether it be training, nutrition, or mental preparation, will affect his share price.”

Jeremy Snape, SA sports psychologist

An anonymous friend put this up recently.

And it’s deadly scary.

Cricketers are now having to compare themselves to stocks in front of quacks, that is where our game is headed.

But this is perhaps scarier.

Thanks to Ceci of Ceci & Mel fame, for the photo.

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Tom Moody didn’t shit, he got off the pot

He had his chance you see.

Australia thought Moody was the man for them, but Moody wanted to go home, and to the IPL, and the Australian job was not for him.

Now he wants to put his 2 cents in.

I don’t disagree with what he is saying.

Marcus North would make sense at number 6, the same way Noffke deserves his spot at 7.

Krejza should have got more of a go in Australia.

Hayden should be pensioned off.

This is what he said about Hayden.

“I more than likely would have run out of patience by now (if I was a selector).”

Well you could have had a say, if you wanted to coach.

Instead we have Numbers Neilsen, who is drowning in pocket calculators and video analysis.

It’s easy to sit on your ass and criticise.

Look I’m doing it now, I’m sitting on my ass criticising you, while you sit on your ass criticising Australia.

Unfortunately they are never going to let me coach the national team (probably), you they wanted, they begged, they pleaded, and you didn’t want to.

So you lose your right to speak on this.

There is no doubt the team would be in better shape if you were there.

You are a successful international coach, who would probably be best suited to working with a new look Australian side.

But you aren’t, are you Tom, you are off trying to work out why Western Australia is falling apart.

Instead of where Australian cricket needs you.

So while I respect your comments, you can stick em right up your ass, if you aren’t going to do anything with them.

Because there are more than enough people ready to take pot shits in the media, but you had the chance to make a real difference.

And I don’t mean in the IPL.