Yes, Mitchell Johnson is back, and that makes you fear like nothing since the last time you looked directly at an image of Peter Borren.

Some fear he will play, and fail, and lose Australia a series.

Others fear he will play, and fail, and their team won’t ever get to play against him again.

I fear he won’t fail and he’ll never ever go away.

Mitchell and I have this sort of long lasting cycle of violence between each other that he doesn’t know about and I can’t escape. But, if he’s not around, then I can continue with my life in a sort of semi normal kind of way. Because Mitchell is the ultimate bad ex-girlfriend. And this latest comeback is the ultimate accidental late night sext to a new boyfriend ever.

But some people love him, and while I haven’t been able to find many, here is by far the best one.

Yeah, leave him alone, perhaps in a cave, with an immovable boulder in front of it.

If you want to correspond with the sexy bastard in the video, he can be found here.

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  1. Ian says:


  2. Tybalt says:

    [googles Peter Borren]


  3. Tybalt says:

    As for Mitch though, I don’t have any jokes, or anything of the kind, I am just desperately, desperately hoping that he turns over the South Africans completely and takes plenty for few at the WACA and then again against the West Indies.

    Not because I’ve anything against South Africa (but oh, I do, how I do) or against West Indies (I really don’t) but because I desperately, *desperately* need Mitchell Johnson to roll up at Trent Bridge in June as the undisputed leader of the Australian attack. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease…

    I’ll even try to be good.

  4. What about the other Mitchell, he is crying out to be picked.
    However picking Johnson for his home test may be a genius pick, would they have the bottle to drop Quiney (who adds nothing) and go the 5 bowler route, Wade @6, Johnson @7 Pattinson @8. These can all chip in with vital runs.

  5. Peter Borren says:

    @Tybalt, at leat you dont have to wake up every morning and see that in the mirror! I do, and it sucks. haha.

  6. Aaaaah, never mind Pete, at least Beth still loves you.

    (Mind you, I’ve been telling her to get that glaucoma sorted out for years.)

  7. Fox McScrooge says:

    Thought the Australian selectors were nucking futs with the bowling selections for the Perth test but I’m happy to have been proven wrong. Johnson has gone OK too. He doesn’t seem to be chucking as many pies as last time he was in the squad. Really people are a little hard on the bloke – can bat and field Still I wouldn’t be looking forward to facing Morkel and Steyn late in the day if I was an Aussie batter so time will tell.

    On another note, looking forward to the Windies tour later in the year. Hopefully Sulieman Benn tours – always good to watch the greatest wanker in world cricket strut his stuff.

  8. i might start a series of “Comments from Eugene, whilst sitting on the toilet!” hahaha. thanks for the views. was fun!

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