Everyone knows that Raphael is the best teenage mutant ninja turtle.
But the makers of the first teenage mutant ninja turtles film tried to ruin that in many ways.
One of which was to make Raphael and whiny loner.
Another was to make him hate cricket.
It all starts when after leaving the other turtles, Raphael (who’s cool but crude) finds himself in a fight with a guy and baseball bats.
The guy is the oddly cast Elias Koteas (who in this film never wants to have sex with anyone involved in an auto vehicular accident) who says “A new game, roundhead (pause, followed by bat twirl), cricket”.
The twirl is by far the most interesting part of this cricket pop culture reference as Elias, an obvious stanislavski disciple, had clearly watched some cricket before playing this role.
This film was released in 1990, the same year that Alec Stewart played his first Test.
It’s clearly not a coincidence that Elias Koteas, or Casey Jones as his character is known, twirls the bat in the exact same way.
Raphael, not perturbed by the uncanny bat twirl, says, “Cricket? Nobody understands cricket. You got to understand what a crumpet is to understand cricket” as Elias taps his bat on his back foot while standing in a fairly common ready to face the ball kind of way.
Any cricket fan hearing someone, even a mutant (not alien) turtle, say something that fucken stupid about the sport they love would be pissed, and Elias certainly is.
Elias then gets down over the bat in a correct way, and uses his feet to come down the wicket (something that Stewart should have tried against Warne) and smashes Raphael in the face who flies through the air and lands in a rubbish bin.
Elias then says, “Ha, six runs”.
While it’s nice that he got the twirl, stance, bat tap and footwork pretty right, perhaps “he’s out caught”, or even just “caught/out” would have been better with Raphael in the bin. Although, we shouldn’t nit pick at such a decent attempt to use cricket in what was a fairly seminal children’s film in the 90s.
It’s also a little known fact that Elias Koteas learnt to love cricket so much because of this scene that he is now trying to write, direct and star in a biopic of Hansie Cronje with a working title of “that damned Hansie”. Elias still hates crumpets.