England shart

I was afraid that this England Pakistan series would be two attrition loving teams making sure they didn’t make mistakes as they both comfortably got to 0-0.

That might still happen.

Although today was funner than seeing a borne film on a roller coaster, the series could still dribble out staid draws and the two teams could end up sitting on the pot and not shitting.

But today England shit a bit.

And so did the rest of the world, with laughter.

Before this England had shown to be a largely robotic team that could capitalise on flaws and had even learnt the hardest art in modern cricket, the un-collapse.

192 is a long way from 51, 47 or 43,  but it’s a cock up.

And England may end up winning this series, and travelling on their next couple of subbie adventures with their pith helmets held high.

Or they could shit themselves and prove to naysayers that they are grass merchants who who frown on brown.

I think both are ideal outcomes.

If England do fight back here, and then beat the Lankans and Indians, they’ll be a number 1 number one.  So cricket will have another great enemy that needs to be brought down.

If England don’t fight back, and they continue to play spin like it’s got herpes, world cricket will have another good ordinary side for the other teams to play awkward teenage sex Tests with.

Today’s English collapse was against a bowler with a career average and strike rate of 30/68.   He’s a bowler that when he has a good day, he has a real good day, when he has a bad day you might as well rent a truck and drive over him.

England aren’t going to come up against too many Ajmal’s in the world, but it’s comforting to know that when they do, their capacity to shit themselves still remains, even if this was a shart my modern Test standards.

So either they fight back and we all marvel at the professional nature of the new England.

Or they fall apart while we all point and laugh.

Cricket can’t lose. England can.

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9 thoughts on “England shart

  1. deepak says:

    Haha..well said Jrod. Pom spin merchants have now become active by starting rumours about Ajmal’s bowling action. They might as well learn to play straight! If anything, English are quite predictable!!

  2. Gopal says:

    England No1 – NOT. I am a fan of India and like/dislike other teams but the team that I HATE is the English and their attitude recently when they have been on a upswing has been barf inducing.

    • Robraz says:

      Strange comment. Who’s attitude upsets you so much? Andrew Strauss? A pretty modest kind of chap. Andy Flower? Beyond reproach surely. Alastair Cook? Has he ever said anything interesting enough abouit anything to be “barf inducing”? Is it the fans that upset you most? I think that most fans were just bewildered by the sudden rise to number one, and will take the inevitable fall down the rankings on the chin, and get back to revelling in a dip pit of crapness mid 90’s style…

  3. Navin Anand says:

    England were clinical on day two, although the balance is still in Paksitan’s favour. There will be more pad action, keeping umpires and DRS busy with more LBW appeals through the next couple of days. With little deviation and low bounce, LBWs will remain the favoured route for bowlers. Expect Rehman and Ajmal to be a handful in the second innings. England will have to battle hard with the bat next. Game on!

    You are blogrolled at http://notenoughcricket.blogspot.com.


  4. Ma says:

    Awkward teenage sex tests? Fantastic! Sums it up brilliantly – Thrilling, technically incompetent, over quickly, but great to watch.

  5. k says:

    thanks be to the gods, stolid professionalism beaten by a silver talent

  6. Sheikh says:

    Wake up Jrod.
    Pommies got Ajmalled!

  7. gdizzle says:

    Yay….a**holes beaten by cheats/fixers….an advertisement for cricket

  8. jogesh99 says:

    England are shit against spin, and always have been.

    “Since December 2001, England have played 22 Tests in Asia and won just five. Even that modest record flatters them, however. Four of those Tests – and four of those wins – came against Bangladesh. Remove them from the equation and England record is quite gruesome: just one win in 18 and eight losses.”


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