Can you kill Greg Chappell?

There has been a lot of rumour about how Greg Chappell will be fired, let go, deflated or re-structured out of cricket Australia. Some think he may just leave because of his pride has been wounded.

Ofcourse I find it odd that you need a review into the whole cricket structure to see that Greg Chappell was a destabilizing influence on a cricket team, I’d have thought the South Australian, Indian and Australia A players who had the benefit of his Guru mind would have been able to tell Cricket Australia ahead of time that Greg, former champion that he is, is utterly living in a world far removed from anything resembling reality.

It’s Gregland, where all batsmen have their bats on the ground until the bowler delivers and he finds superstar cricketers when building his house made of fairy floss.

It takes more than a bomb or bullet to kill someone in their own reality. No, if James Sutherland wants to end this national talent manager, he’ll need more than a manilla folder at his side.

That’s also why I struggle to believe that Greg will actually go. This isn’t like Hilditch, we know he is gone, he even seemed happy to leave, but Greg isn’t like him.

Greg’s survived his own personality and Sourav Ganguly, the two most corrosive substances known to man, so how could a fucken report do him in?

What needs to happen here is Sutherland has to travel into Gregland with a stake, silver bullet, chainsaw and a copy of Bob Woolmers the art and science of cricket.

His first adventure will be overcoming the Ganguly gully of ghastliness.

Then he shall have to defeat the teetotal trees of destruction.

After that he’ll have to take down the underarm underclass soldiers.

Then, and only then, will little James be ready to take down the Greg himself.

He’ll need Bob Woolmer’s book to distract Greg while he plunges the stake through the heart, shoots the silver bullet into his hide, and takes his head off with the chainsaw.

That might still not be enough, but at the very least that should stop Greg entering the changing room and annoying the players.

You can’t kill him, I mean if you could, surely someone would have by now.

Ofcourse, Australia’s other option is getting him a job with the opposition team before each series…

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5 thoughts on “Can you kill Greg Chappell?

  1. Lolly says:

    “Greg’s survived his own personality” – this is possibly one of your finest ever lines.

  2. damiths says:

    Surely there is a movie deal in Harry Potter and the Ganguly gully of ghastliness

  3. jogesh99 says:

    add an “i” to his name and see what you get then – so thank your stars.

  4. bigsands says:

    @damiths – I like the Harry Potter reference.

  5. Wiki says:

    I know who will kill the Greg Chappell first – He is none other than Bengal Tiger Sourav Ganguly (DADA). Ofcourse Irfan Pathan also.

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