Introducing Pakistan’s latest fast bowling golem: Junaid Khan

It’s two days since I saw Junaid Khan.

Since then I’ve had conversations with about 4 or 5 people where they have brought him up.

I expect more people to do so.

There is something that makes you want to tell everyone you know when you see a young Pakistani quick.

They get the heart started.

I can’t remember the last time one player got so many people talking in the UK since Amir played.

A Pakistani quick has the youth to make people interest, skill to make people talk,flair to get them to gush, and the sudden arrival to make it all feel like a dirty little secret that no one knows about but you.

There was no Junaid Khan for me before the other night, and bang, there he is, fully developed, bowling Yorkers out his asshole that seem to have some sort of artificial intelligence once they’ve left his hand.

It’s as if Pakistani quicks are created by some Muslim Cleric with ancient Hebrew texts.

“We need something to protect us, so I shall create another full bowling speed demon golem out of this magical clay that i found in Safraz Nawaz’s rose garden. He shall be fast like the wind, cocky like a Jagger, silky like a stallion and infectious like a STD. He shall roam the earth making people think of the Pakistani people as fast bowling lothario heroes, which will bring happiness to our people and carnage to the stumps of the world. Oh, yes, I like shaping the groin part, more clay please.”

I can’t believe that Pakistan just developed another fast bowling machine, one who might be fairly untested at the top level, but could be ripping it to pieces shortly.

Although, if my golem theory is correct, and let’s face it, it is, these golems are not made for our voyeuristic pleasure, they’ve been made because Pakistani cricket needs a saviour, to save it from itself, and Ijazz Butt.

And if ancient Jewish mysticism and Frankenstein has taught us anything, it’s that you might build a golem with the best of intentions, but things can go to shit after that.

The good news is that in Pakistan, there is a lot of clay.

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11 thoughts on “Introducing Pakistan’s latest fast bowling golem: Junaid Khan

  1. Mudassar says:

    Ah, he was termed as next Amer in Pakistan domestic circuit and than in West Indies he was good wasn’t making a great impact as he was not yet as prepared for the highest level, so this county will bring the best out of him. Looking forward to see him in action at the highest level soon and praying God save him from the beasts of PCB.

    And CWB you are awesome as usual. PS: why you look so like Kent’s Rob Key? this deserve some insight JRod?

  2. Ryan Espley says:

    Junaid played club cricket against my 1st team last year, apparently he is rapid! Here are his stats

  3. George says:

    he plays fro ABBOTABAD!

  4. It’s as if Pakistani quicks are created by some Muslim Cleric with ancient Hebrew texts.


  5. Sujan says:

    God bless Pakistan cricket from PCB and Ijazz Butt.

  6. King Khan says:

    Another quicky like RAWALPINDI Passenger. Gud Luck!

  7. nick says:

    does he also have that pakistani fast bowler hairstyle jrod??

  8. It is interesting how they keep churning out quality seamers, particularly because it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with a well-formed coaching system. . .

  9. ghurram says:

    So how long do we expect him to stay before he gets some coke ?

  10. Alvaro_FSS says:

    Unfortunately, he is older than Eddie Hemmings.

  11. […] Jarod Kimber was gushing over the new Pakistan quick Junaid Khan. In doing so, he said that in addition to flair and skill, it is the youth of new Pakistan […]

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