English ODI team held back by their cricket writers

It seems obvious to all of those watching England try in vain to become a serviceable ODI side that there are serious problems there.

Anderson has taken a disliking to the white ball.

Their captain is a plodding donkey.

Jonathan Trott only scores 5 runs more per hundred balls than Ian bell, and averages a shocking 11 less in ODIs than he does in tests.

KP is a left arm orthodox away from a melt down.

And they rotate their keeper like most rotate their underwear.

Yet their biggest problem seems to lie in the press box.

It’s in the press box that they look large and sluggish.  Never quite sure how to push on at the right time, and always held back by a general malaise that can’t even be blamed on a South African.

You could also argue that their press box has too many passengers, and not enough people shaping the game.

No matter how many times it tries to re-invent itself it struggles to maintain consistently exiting performances.

Perhaps it wants to attack, it certainly states this a lot, but it is held back by some sort of invisible constraint.

It all starts in their over worked openings.  The sort of sprawling intro that can go on for the whole piece while the better ideas never really get a chance to get going.  After a while you realise that while it’s well written structurally, it just hasn’t got you anywhere.

The writers are also missing some real dynamism, dare I say it “X factor”.  In the comfy confines of a five day match they can really stretch themselves and use their experience to wear you down, in ODI cricket they seem to lack any real imagination or the ability to think on their feet.

There’s a lack of penetration in the ODI writing as well.  Somehow this sharp tool turns blunt when thrust into the limited overs format.  Like the skills they need to make the big blows are limited when the game is shortened.

Some think that what is needed is an overhaul of the press box; bring in some flesh blood, writers who have been starring in the provincials.  When that happens these young upstarts don’t inspire, and are quickly replaced again by the same old names and nothing really changes.

It may be unfair to say, but in the world of ODI cricket, this press pack is rather plodding donkey like.  England needs their cricket writers in top form.

Only Andy Flower can save them.

There’s nothing that man can’t achieve with little more than a clipboard and a stern look.


7 thoughts on “English ODI team held back by their cricket writers

  1. In the spirit of this, I propose that all short-format cricket articles should begin with the words: “TITS! Now that we’ve got your attention…”

    Obviously, when people have grown tired of tits (which may take some considerable time), the opening word could be replaced by something equally attenion-grabbing, such as “scrotum” or “orgy”.

  2. *attention
    (currently suffering from typo-itis)

  3. Angy says:

    We failed to execute a key skill there and lost all the momentum in that post. We’ll just have to regroup before the next one and stand up to the pressure of posting, to give ourselves a chance of getting it right.

  4. The press box will eventually evolve like the team has.

    In a few years it will have 2 or 3 South Africans and an Irishman in it, like the team, it will then start to produce some good longer articles, but will rotate and experiment with the shorter articles.

    The older English hacks of ex-players will continue to criticise and be hypocritical over tactics, telling current captains how to be more positive in a way that contradicts how they badly captained in a negative way during their own era.

    By this time, the younger influence of South Africans just entering the press box, will be just writing things like ‘it’s the way they play, take them or leave them,’

    And things like ‘should we really be picking these guys to play for England? In my day it was just South Africans and Irish we picked, not Bosnians and Albanians.

  5. Zaheer says:

    Support from press can help a team in getting positive results.

  6. nick says:

    Bond. Shane Bond!

  7. jogesh99 says:

    They need some imported Aussie flair – I read you jrod…

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