Revenge of the Krab

There was once a time when Simon Katich choked Michael Clarke for not celebrating a win long enough.

Now he has been told he is not required or good enough to get into the list of best 25 cricketers in the country.

According to some media outlets, he’s angry.

I bet he is.

I imagine he has made a list, and those on that list will be dealt with in an ugly yet effective way.

Simon Katich’s death list may never be found, but in the next few weeks we may start hearing stories like this.

David – found naked in a bathtub having been force fed 52 cans of beer, still in the can. Boon’s body is a lumpy mess, and his moustache has been carved off his face with a knife.

Jamie Cox – a corpse is found in a local men’s hairdressers having been stabbed with tiny blunt scissors over 18614 times. It doesn’t make the national news.

Andrew – a transsexual prostitute corpse is found in a lawfirm office, it’s been strangled, or shot, no one is sure, and the story keeps changing.

Greg – the head of a man is found, near by is a wide bring hat with razors on the brim.

Michael – the body of a man is found at a trendy cafe on a sydney beach, it’s quite clear to officials that it’s been choked by an Australian flag.

Personally I think Katich should have been dropped, but if I ever meet him or have any contact with him at all I’ll tell him that his dropping was the biggest mistake I’ve seen by Australian selectors, then I’d buy him a beer and tell him how I used to troll some cricket blog who used to make fun of him.

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13 thoughts on “Revenge of the Krab

  1. Howe_zat says:

    It’s interesting that out of the 3 most senior players in the side (Katman, Hussey, Ponting) they decided to drop one, and then they made it the best performer from the last 3 years and the youngest.

  2. wolf says:

    Howe_zat a lot of people would like to know how the selectors arrived at that decision.

    I’d also like to know what Cossie has to do to get a contract. Apparently he’s fit enough to top the run scoring in the shield but not fit enough for a central contract. Ponting’s argument about poor shield wickets leading to the decline of our international team is only relevant if we put shield cricket players in the team.

  3. Mike says:

    Gideon Haigh noted on a radio interview this afternoon that Katich played more shots in that interview than ever did in his career.

  4. Adrian says:

    Jrod, why did you want him dropped?

    • jrod says:

      Adrian and MJ, actually, I wrote that wrong, I wanted 2 of the old 3 dropped, I would have preferred it to be Hussey and Ponting, but since they can’t drop Hussey the one time in 3 years he’s in form and they don’t seem to want to drop Ponting, Katich was the obvious one to go. I probably would have moved Watson down the order to 3 or 5, kept Katich and discarded the other two. But we have to be realistic here, katich was always the man who was going to go, he is the Mike Young of the batting order.

      Howezat, please don’t print comments that pre-empt my next post.

  5. MJ says:

    You agree he should have been dropped?

    That makes you, the selection panel and Ricky Ponting. And quite possibly no-one else anywhere.

  6. hi says:

    Aus has to learn from Sri Lanka and bring shane warne back

  7. poopsie says:

    Any chance the girls at Surrey would be keen on escorting such an angry man to the wicket?

  8. Nash says:

    I just don’t get this preoccupation with talking down cricketers who reach the age of 35. Is this an Aussie thing? The Chappels seem to love doing it – who should retire and when is what Ian talks or writes about 50% of the time. During Katich’s press conference, he refers to how Greg (who obviously had a say in his axeing) thought Tendulkar was past it a few years back, and how stupid that was. Its almost as if these guys are pissed off that they didn’t get to play at that age, and therefore nobody else should.

    Its simple – pick the best 11. What happens when you axe someone who is good enough to play, and replace him with a youngster who doesn’t cut it? It is simply unpardonable. You rob a better player of a chance to perform for his country, you rob fans of the chance to watch a better player play for their country, and you possibly rob your country of test match victories.

    There is absolutely no guarantee that a young replacement will ever find his feet, or if he does, will ever be as good as an outgoing player. So who are the selectors to take that risk? They owe it to the public to pick the best 11 on performance. If performances are more or less equal, sure, look at age as a factor. But if there isn’t a good enough replacement, you cannot manufacture one. Leave that decision until you have to make it – i.e., when a player retires.

  9. Phred says:

    The Krab should go play in the IPL and make 50 in 100 balls, to really show them ;)

    Actually I do think this was a ridiculous decision. Nash’s post is right on the money.

  10. Lolly says:

    To give Phil Hughes (or whoever replaces the Katman) if they can’t score runs against the pop-gun Sri seamers, the NSP are going to look like even bigger shysters than they currently do.

    I love Kat, but I can see why he’s gone. It’s all about timing… and protecting Punter.

  11. […] the grandaddy of ‘em all CWB had something to say about it – twice: One pre-outburst and one post-outburst. And, incidentally, Jrod’s right – is should have been all three […]

  12. Matt says:

    Much as I like a freshly pulled crab in a butter, garlic and chilli sauce, I’d have been happy to wait. Happy to keep hussey, reckon he might kick on a bit. I’d have preferred to see pointing go. Im starting to wonder if all out selectors were spawned from the same fruit of the loin extruded on the day bubba snuck a retard into the sperm bank.

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