What a big day in cricket

There was a time when I tried to cover all the issues in cricket in my own way.

It’s good I don’t anymore as I think today would have killed me.

Warne being fined 50,000 benjamins for knocking an official who on his profile claims to have won a title on his own once is worth a post just so you can talk about how the lost 50Gs might mean some of his face goes back into a normal human facial structure. Although it could stop him from spending his spare 50 large on  cricket betting to make a few extra dollars on the way out, or, it could force his hand to make the money back.

Tony Greig has come out against India ruling the world.  Perhaps they didn’t grovel at his feet enough when he was involved in the rebel league and made out with some fat cash from the ICL.  Greig also called Lillee a bit of a fairy, which is rich from the guy who wore a postman helmet to face him.

Hansie Cronje is in the news again (I mean really, this guy gets more press than Princess Di or 2pac) now he’s winning the Siyabakhumbula Tribute Award.  This award means he’s changed the landscape of the country, I do hope that isn’t a meta joke about his plane crash. And if you’re disgusted by my behaviour on that last line, the devil made me do it, and now I’ve found God and shit.

Stuart Clark is retiring from cricket to become a cricket administrator, but still reserves the right to play if NSWales need him.  It’s a very similar situation to Michael Jordan’s role at the Washington BulletsWizards, except Stuart Clarke isn’t cool, and won’t sell many Sydney Sixers shirts. Clark also retired from international cricket in one of the least needed statements in human history.

Danish Kaneria can’t play for Pakistan because of being too close to the grift Mervyn Westfield is accused of. Zulqarnain Zully Q-Dawg Haider may also not be allowed to play for Pakistan because he didn’t want to be involved in a grift. “Wanna bet” is the most loaded innocent phrase you can say in the Pakistani changeroom right now. The PCB is like every coke addled bi-polar girlfriend you’ve ever been afraid of.  I expect my lawsuit is on the way, Ijaz?

Stuart Law called England the number 1 team in the world because Sri Lanka are playing them.  Managing expectations is only a press conference away.

Also, just for something different, some in the West Indies doesn’t like someone else in the West Indies.  It might not have been in the news, but I’m sure it’s accurate.

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13 thoughts on “What a big day in cricket

  1. All of this is shocking news, especially the part about West Indies…

  2. kaprashoo says:

    fucking racist bastards. india is number 1.

    indiaaaaaaa
    indiaaaaaaa

    indiaaaaaaaaa
    indiaaaaaaaaa

    engerlund is not even a number two
    (although to me they will always be number 2s. whoopsies. sees brown peoples can be funnies. unless they are muslims. but being friends with aatif you are probably knowings this.)

    but i digressing.

    indiaaaaaa
    indiaaaaaa

    thank you please come again
    kaprashoo

  3. Param says:

    Deal with it Tony Greig.

  4. Jayne says:

    Not to nitpick, but a “Benjamin” is a US$100 bill, so technically Shane Warne was fined 500 Benjamins. He *was* fined 50,000 Georges (why oh why does the US still have $1 notes -sigh- ), but no one calls them Georges.

    Unfortunately, we don’t have cool, mutil-coloured plastic notes with little transparent windows. And we never had anything as cool as the Her Maj $5 bill you could do the “fellatio fold” on. (I’ve got three of them in my wallet now. Husband insists I hold on to them, and wonders if said A$5 bills were taken out of circulation because of the folding “issue”.)

  5. nick says:

    johnson just got married and dint even invite his mom to wedding :o

  6. kaprashoo says:

    nick,
    no good indian boy would be doing such things without mummyji.
    what sort of marriage arrangementing is this?
    for shame mitchell johnnieson. for shame
    sachin’s mummy even went on the honeymoon.
    india: schooling the world to be dutiful respectful sons since 1947ing.

    indiaaaa
    indiaaaa

    thanking you please.

  7. wolf says:

    Who the fuck is Sanjay Dixit?

  8. George says:

    wolf: SD is Warne’s current employer. Lets leave it at that.

  9. Alvaro_FSS says:

    Eddie Hemmings went to Little Chef in Nottingham because he couldn’t be fucked to queue in Nando’s.

  10. Ceci says:

    Was that a product placement in the Warne paragraph Uncle Jrod?

  11. nick says:

    kaprashoo?? uhhhhh…wtf…wht?

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