Cricket Australia reach for maximum credibility

Since Sharad Pawar saw public opinion turning against him (one advantage to politicians being in cricket) and floated the idea of a possible change to the fascist 2015 world cup, most cricket boards have remained mute.

Perhaps that’s because they didn’t want to open their mouths and admit yet again that they don’t really care about cricket.

Cricket Australia decided to speak out.  They want the the 2015 world cup to have maximum credibility.

Forget for one moment they used the phrase maximum credibility and picture this.

By 2015 Ireland  could be ranked the 9th ODI side in the world and not be in the world cup.

Now think of the phrase maximum credibility.

I can understand why the Australians have finally taken an interest in the next world cup, they’ve just realised it’s at their place. So it didn’t matter to them that the last two world cups were flabby, but now it does.

The problem is that Cricket Australia’s idea of maximum credibility is flawed.

They told Shaun Tait he couldn’t play in the IPL and then a few weeks later they dropped him from their contracted list.

They had a selector who didn’t watch cricket on TV.

Their chairman of selectors didn’t know that their new spin prospect had only just moved to Perth.

In press releases they use statements they use phrases like cricket stakeholders and maximum credibility.

Their former captain was convinced of technology from over a hundred metres away.

They made a mistake about justifying Nathan Hauritz’s promotion, and then made up a fake plane timetable to justify it.

The selectors claimed they had done a good job after the Ashes.

They gave a struggling coach a three year deal just before he would lose an Ashes and go out in the quarter finals of the world cup.

It now looks entirely possible that they and India helped fix an ICC investigation.

They banned ICL players from coaching youngsters to curry favour with India only to then…

Put forward the name of John Howard even though they knew that he was a dick, that his promotion wouldn’t go through and that New Zealand had a perfectly adequate person for the job.

They told Getty Images that all Ashes books that wanted photos would have to get permission off Cricket Australia.

They picked Phil Hughes for Perth and tried to convince Cameron White he was a test spinner.

When Michael Clarke was booed by the crowd they said he wasn’t, then admitted he was, but talked about how popular he was with young people.

They took a normal List A cricket format and made it more confusing, less exciting and made it resemble no international competition in the world.

They gave Greg Chappell a made up Third Reich title and didn’t seem to know why the players had no idea who chairman of selectors was.

Selected the whole country in their pre-Ashes squad.

Maximum credibility?

I think for maximum credibility Cricket Australia should stop making public statements.

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29 thoughts on “Cricket Australia reach for maximum credibility

  1. MW says:

    Touche. I take my imaginary hat off to you.

  2. Selected the whole country in their pre-Ashes squad. – I like it.

    There is a slight contradtiction in terms when it comes to credibility and CA, it’s a bit like Giles Clarke saying something along the lines off “this is a decision taken the benefit of cricket, not a financial one.”

  3. golandaaz says:

    A board’s credibility is as good as its players – John Wright

  4. Govind Raj says:

    Maximum credibility. They must have learned this coinage from Sharad Pawar. He and all his clan is facing a question about that here !

  5. George says:

    Put forward the name of John Howard even though they knew that he was a dick, that his promotion wouldn’t go through and that New Zealand had a perfectly adequate person for the job.

    pardon me, but i’m still picking up bits of my jaw from the floor.
    whatever got you to say that, my!

  6. Wes ~PFCNFS~ says:

    Despite knowing most of these facts reading them in one go felt like getting drowned in a deluge. Or getting rolled over by a steamroller. It must have been hard work to compile this without shooting yourself in the head.

  7. Adrian says:

    Wonderful. Just wonderful.

    And someone needs to muzzle George.

  8. raj says:

    Ha! It’s all the BCCI’s fault.

  9. Ladies and Gentlemen that’s why it’s called Cricket with Balls.

  10. Rawhyde says:

    Can I just add that I’m an Australian and I didn’t get selected for the Ashes…. I was out of the country at the time and could’ve easily missed the call though. :)

  11. Just perfect. Though I am still scratching my head over your comparison of Howard to Gary Glitter :)

  12. Zaheer says:

    In recent world cup Ricky Ponting damage a TV set, before this world cup he gone in a long confrontation with Best Umpire of ICC Aleem Dar in Ashes Series uselessly, and in a recent world cup match Mr. Hadden pushed Younis Khan on the field when he was trying to separate him from Pakistani players when after a clear edge Ricky Ponting try to stay there . Ponting was thinking that all the umpires are blind. This is the credibility of Cricket Australia.

  13. Don’t forget announcing the Ashes squad from a sodden country fete marquee to a crowd of seven, four of which were Hilditch’s ego.

  14. the pleasant encounter says:

    BEER , vodka , rum………..nothing can save australia.

  15. Beggy G says:

    John Howard is a dick? John Howard is the shrunken-by-the-hormones dick, on the fattest ugliest pre-op tranny covered in herpes sores dick, the positively cacked in rancid smegma dick.
    ‘Little’ Johnyn Howard is Adolf Hitler’s evil rapist twin’s dick. John Howard is the tiny shrivelled thing that swings between the legs of satan himself.
    John Howard is a dick.

  16. mr hump says:

    Who is this spin prospect who has just moved to perth?
    Sounds like bullshit to me.
    What is his name?

  17. Jayne says:

    You lot going on about John Howard make my the comments made by my husband’s cousin sound tame. And she’s been a trade union official in Queensland for the past five years, first with the LHMU and now with a union that works more with transport workers (I don’t think it’s the TWU).

  18. labrat says:

    Zaheer you are missing the point. The people you mention are not CA, they are merely contractors.

  19. Ricky Ponting says:

    oxygen thief george continue to wank.just fuck him off Jrody for the betterment of the blog.

  20. Ricky Ponting says:

    hey Adrian,are you Adrian Meradith from Tas?

  21. George says:

    my bad jarrod. but what else can one expect? you guys put him there for four terms!!!

    but again, my bad.

  22. Adrian says:

    @Ricky

    No.

  23. Lolly says:

    “They took a normal List A cricket format and made it more confusing, less exciting and made it resemble no international competition in the world.”

    Funniest thing of all about that is that the players kept saying ‘it’s confusing and we don’t like it.” in the post match interviews.

    You forgot about them dropping Mitchell Johnson for Adelaide test of the Ashes, then try to make that dummy stop saying that he was dropped and say that he was ‘rested’.

  24. Phred says:

    So by comparing Little Johnny to Garry Glitter, are you insinuating that just like Gary, Little Johnny is into “little johnnies”? Hmm? Wasn’t Mr Glitter arrested in Thailand for that? ;)

  25. Vivek says:

    @ mr hump: That will be Michael Beer

  26. Abhinav says:

    Is there a way we can ensure that CA reads this piece?
    Btw why dont go work within the ICC or CA? Then we can all word-bash you :-)

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