Time for a cricket inspired war

There seems to be a thought that India V Pakistan can bring these two countries together at last. For some this isn’t a game, but a chance for two countries to unite and shake each other’s hands and eat fairy floss together.  They think that when these two teams play a respectable game that some how decades of hatred and suspicion will be overcome with a bit of “the best team won on the day”.

I don’t think so.

Cricket isn’t the sport to bring about world peace, but to bring it anarchy.

This world is stale and dull, we need an apocalypse, we need a world war, and I want cricket to inspire this.

For that to happen what is better than a world cup semi final where both teams cheat, sledge and abuse each other until the only option for both countries is all out war.

I don’t want civility and bullshit respect, I want complete and utter mentalness.

That is what the world needs, that is what the world cup needs, and that just seems like fun.

The world needs a revolution, and I’d like that to be brought out by a fight of the UDRS or whether there really was an edge behind.

Something really petty and cricket related.

I want anarchy to reign in the streets while American reporters try and decipher the LBW rule as people are slayed behind them.

If any sport was invented to bring us to a new world order it was cricket.

Now all we need is for the Indian and Pakistani cricket teams to do their bit.

Cheat, be arrogant, bend the rules, take a steamy dump on the spirit of cricket,  abuse your opposition and be as brutal as you can, don’t let this opportunity slip, the world needs you boys, it needs the apocalypse your cricket bastardy can bring.

Advertisements
Tagged , ,

10 thoughts on “Time for a cricket inspired war

  1. Pricky says:

    “Cheat, be arrogant, bend the rules, take a steamy dump on the spirit of cricket, abuse your opposition and be as brutal as you can”

    A training course with Pricky Ranting will help?

  2. jay says:

    Poe’s law.

  3. jay says:

    That was depressingly predictable, cheers Pricky.

  4. yenjvoy says:

    No such luck. We Indians now reserve that kind of naked rage for visiting Australian teams only. India v Pak is not where its at for us anymore. Today’s Pak is a 3rd grade team that has regressed so far that it is not worthy of the cutthroat rivalry we remember from our childhood. What are we going to be upset about – Misbah? Younis? Kakmal? What’s the point. Aren;t they already unfortunate enough?

  5. theSinghConnection says:

    i call bullshit.
    only a ignoramus would want people to suffer and/or die in war for no reason. even if this were a sarcastic joke it went too far .
    even if isreal and germany were playing a world cup soccer game NO self respecting human being would say that they should stop being friendly and restart the holocaust.
    guess thats too much to ask from a bigot!
    cheers!

    • jrod says:

      @ the Singh connection, I call pretzels. I’d like to think of myself as more of a warmonger than a bigot.

  6. Miss Bah says:

    I am a lover not a fighter.

  7. ospriet says:

    Jrod a bigot, who knew?

  8. Tony says:

    Singh songh blue, everybody know’s one.

  9. jay says:

    oh for fucks sake you silly silly men. Read what you wrote, spin round three times, do a handstand then look out of the window. Then look in the mirror. Then look out of the window again,

Comments are closed.