King KOB

I was watching Kevin O’Brien in the restaurant that Zully Q-Dawg gave a famous press conference in.

All around us were Pakistani fans who were just happy that it wasn’t their side that was looking like losing to Ireland. And even happier that it was England.

Then next to me was the other prick/chuck, Sam, who is from the country that was losing.

And to make it just right, at the crease was an out of shape agricultural ginger axe wielder.

It was all set up perfectly.

Then KOB lost his fitness.

Serious ass kicking takes it out of the fittest of men, KOB is not that.  His running between the wickets became more of a drunken stumble in the general direction of the other crease as his innings went along. It was England’s only hope for a while.

Eventually it was his running that kept him from finishing the job.

When Prior took off the bails all KOB could do was slide on his face.

England celebrated the way you do when you realise there is still a chance you might not end up as the world’s punch line.

KOB just stayed on the ground, face only separated from the dirt by the helmet grill.

I have no idea how long he stayed there, the cameras left him well before he looked like moving.

To me it meant more than the whole innings.

The innings had edges, a drop, some luck and one of the best consistent spells of hitting you’ll ever see under pressure.

I liked the face on the ground more.

Ireland play their cricket like a shit New Zealand from the 90s.

Everyone joins together like Voltron to defend Ireland’s pride. Now, Voltron wasn’t an A grade cartoon, and Ireland are not an A grade team.

They’re just plucky, handy and better than they would be as individuals.

When KOB went wild, you didn’t want a catch or a run out, you just wanted them to get home in any way they could.

That’s why it was so disappointing to see him grill down in the dirt, he thought he’d let down his team. Even though the team that without him wouldn’t have even been close to winning.

I like that, a lot.

KOB is just an unfashionable man who hits the ball hard and tries to win a match for his country.

If I was picking a player to score a record breaking match winning ass kicking hundred in a world cup over his closest rivals, KOB would be about perfect.

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5 thoughts on “King KOB

  1. soubhik says:

    liked this one, A LOT! and yes, KOB has really derailed the English campaign…now only if Bangladesh can do an encore!

  2. Venkat says:

    Uncle JRod;

    The English and Indians must strongly advise the ICC to play the next world cup on Playstation.
    They could beat Ireland for sure and tie with each other.

    In Play station KOB would have to look like a Orc from Mordor with Pink Testicles.

    The fun stuff is if the Software Module for Ump Decisions could be written by Software Engineers with crooked fingers. That would make it really fair.


  3. England’s Alfred Shaw was the bowler to bowl the first delivery in a Test match. He took 3 three wickets in the first innings and 5 in the second

  4. True…it was a special innings for the way he hauled his team back in gladiatorial style…and his disappointment on getting run out was palpable…..if it was Pollard, I’m sure he would have walked off nonchalantly..

  5. Chris says:

    Completely disagree with you here, Voltron was an A grade cartoon.

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