Neil Harvey says

“You call that a shit Australian team, you’re an idiot. All too busy tweeting your faces at each other and praising Steve Waugh to know that this isn’t even the worst Australian team in the last 40 years. You’re soft fat headed fools for thinking that.

When I was a selector they were real hard times. Half my team disappeared quicker than you can say, ‘someone shoot that fat prick Packer’.

Back then we had rubbish spinners, tonnes of them, but we didn’t complain, we just put them in the side and told everyone to shut the hell up.

Our captain wasn’t no fading champion either, he was just some bloke we picked because he had a tough sounding name.

Rodney Hogg carried us back then, man was crazier than a hat full of assholes, but he did the job and wasn’t rested.

They were the real deal, not like this lot.

Selling jumpers, getting girly tattoos, hugging, taking showboat hat tricks, executing their bloody tweet boxes, apologising for being Australian, and giving interviews two minutes after they’ve shafted their team mates.

Sure, they’ve got a bit of talent there, but I wouldn’t pick em in my worst team.

Not even Xavier Doherty or Steve Smith. Hell, I’d pick 11 Craig Serjeants before I’d cough up for one Phil Hughes.

Craig never said he wanted to be the new Viv Richards, the boy knew his limitations and spent his whole career proving he did. That is special.

These new guys have no idea of their limitations, even though the rest of us are sick of seeing them.

Back when I was selector the useless cricketers had a certain dignity in their play, they knew they were useless, and were helpless to stop it, but they had class about it, and they were far worse than this mob.

Cricketers were far worse in my selecting days.”

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11 thoughts on “Neil Harvey says

  1. Maybe they all need the tattoos, could be a way of team bonding.

    Or alternatively just give Mitch the boot!

    No tattoos below the elbow please.

  2. golandaaz says:

    What would Harvey compare this England team to the one from his time?

  3. Ganesh says:

    How can Neil Harvey say anything ‘Worse’ about Old days? :P (Regarding the last line.)

  4. damithts says:

    Neil Harvey was worse at being Neil Harvey in his day.

    So in essence Harvey is getting better at Harveying these days.

  5. Nick says:

    well all im gonna say is tht it was great to see LEE back in the action!

  6. Sir Paddles says:

    There was a time when everyone in the Australian team was a tough bastard. Especially that Allan Border guy.

    Nowadays, the team is full of metrosexuals. It all started with Brett Lee and then it rubbed off on Shane Watson and Michael Clarke. In fact, a lot of NSW cricketers seem to be metrosexuals and since they’re usually the only ones getting picked for Australia, things aren’t looking too good.

    Australia has two options here. Either they have to drop all these Metrosexual cricketers and send them to England or they have to find a cricketer who can beat David Boon in a drinking contest. There’s no other alternative.

  7. Adrian says:

    Fucking priceless.

  8. wolf says:

    “or they have to find a cricketer who can beat David Boon in a drinking contest”

    Cossie is a big unit…

  9. The Pav says:

    Dear UJ

    This should have come with a health warning & incontinence aids.

    I damn near died laughing & almost west myself this one was so funny.

    Are you sure your Victorian?

  10. Lolly says:

    Craig Serjeant. Bless.

    I’ll take that Craig Serjeant and raise you a Rick Darling.

  11. I thought Harvey was an imaginary rabbit? No?

    Oh shit, right…he is Gideon Haigh’s cat.

    No wait….Gideon’s cat is Fingleton, I think.

    Man, I am so messed up…

    -Sriram

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