dear gabba,

I’ve always lusted after you.

You know that, you’ve read my letters, smelt my intent and let me carry on as a horny fool around you.

I think you know by now that my lust is pure and right, not some sort of passing fad. It has lasted for years.

This was my first trip inside you, and I didn’t like it. I felt like for years you had given everyone else the good stuff, and I was left with just a hollow shell, not the Gabba I always wanted.

For years I have watched as many people have been with you, and I thought that when I finally did, it would be one of my finest moments. It wasn’t.

You were boring, to be honest.

Perhaps we didn’t have the chemistry that I expected, it could have been too much anticipation, but you just didn’t give me what I wanted.

You see, for years when others have been with you, you’ve had energy, spin, swing, bounce and fun.

I just assumed you’d do the same when I was there.

Instead I got some grass clippings and rolled concrete, not really what you’d want after 22 years of fetishizing your surface.

You left me wanting much more, now I have to go to Adelaide, which I’ve never felt any love for and hope it can field the massive void you have left.

Flat wickets do nothing for me, you could have won me over for ever, but no, you had to put out this stupid imitation Gabba wicket, and now I am forced to look elsewhere.

You’ll always be the one I wanted to get with and never quite did, maybe one of the other three will take your place, or I’ll just roam the globe looking for some place to do for me what I hoped you would.

Goodbye, Gabba, I thought you’d be the one, now I realise you are just part of my past.

Somethings are greater in your mind than in reality.



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11 thoughts on “dear gabba,

  1. Bottom Edge says:

    Jrod, that is one of the saddest things I’ve ever read. Tears are falling down my cheeks like the soft snow slipping silently to earth outside my office window.

  2. John A says:

    Well at least he’s not giving any credit to the Poms for rescuing the situation from 200+ runs behind to putting on 500+ for the just the one wicket. And letting Cook beat Bradman’s best score on the ground.

    That would never do.

  3. I agree the wicket was flat Jrod, but both the sides dropped at least 2 sitters each. That’s 4 wickets that could have been gotten but weren’t. If you count the hard ones, that would be 6 catches – we expect the cricketers at that level to take them as well. Who knows – if they took the chances given, the match could have gotten more interesting.

    Why does poor fielding and poorer bowling gets ignored and the pitch is blamed?

  4. golandaaz says:

    It was a pitch made to order. Australia clearly did not want to lose the first test.

  5. knowledge_eater says:

    @ elegantstroke Despite drop catches you shouldn’t be making fast paced 50 on final day, or at least, even Australia was easy posting runs in their first match. If you are coming with bowlers in form (Eng. Bowlers) with ‘great’ spinner of the year. Aus. should have been all-out early in 1st inning. Gaba should have been very tough to bat on for 3 first straight days. If batsmen are getting better, fielders are getting crappier and bats are improvising each day, then you MUST make even harder pitch. Not the pitch that can last for 5 days. Hype of Gaba didn’t do anything. Aus. lost their opportunity to win first test due to pitch and crap fielding.

    I don’t know what happened to odd bowl coming back to stump deliveries. I have seen only Zak, Steyn, and Pak bowlers bowl that in recent times. I haven’t seen if anyone else do that. Because on pitches like this you gotta have occasional bowls like that.

  6. Chris Newell says:

    I’m changing my prediction,, next test will be drawn too and then England will win 3-0.

  7. Wes ~PFCNFS~ says:

    Disappointed with the outcome, had hoped for more (wickets, that is), allowing Cook to become an English national icon is not easily forgivable.

  8. Any ground which allows Alastair Cook to beat a Don Bradman record should be shut down forever. It’s a disgrace!

    What next? Before we know it even stranger things might start happening like Shane Watson getting on the Lord’s Honours Board for his bowling!

  9. Wes ~PFCNFS~ says:

    Ha ha touché Dean! Made me laugh.

  10. Sunny says:

    agree with dean. cookie’s earlier PB was in book cricket.

  11. Deep Cower says:

    Here’s Swann’s videos :

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