balls profile: graeme swann

It is hard to believe that the coolest spinner in test cricket is an off spinner from England; we have clearly reached the end times. Swann is a lovable tosser, although not a fan of London accented Pakistanis. He has no magic tricks as a spinner; he doesn’t invent new deliveries or experiment too much. Although, if he did tricks, he could hide them behind his massive chin. Swann bowls a lot of good balls and works batsmen over using his brain even more than his fingers. Gets good spin, yet is not averse to bowling more full tosses than a club leg spinner on a bad day. Once travelled home drunk to save a pussy. Can bat, although not in the all rounder sense, more like a smashed cowboy riding a bull. Was once in a band. Got punched on his first test tour, by a teammate. I think he imagines that every time he goes out on the field women are throwing their underwear at him, this is yet to actually happen to him.

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8 thoughts on “balls profile: graeme swann

  1. Rishabh says:

    getting all the ashes players done, i see.

  2. poopsie says:

    Who punched him? And did he get hit in the chin?

  3. golandaaz says:

    He has the look of a circus clown who has been asked to lead a Broadway musical and finds that he has the knack and the feel for for it

  4. Ganesh says:

    who punched him?

  5. Wes ~PFCNFS~ says:

    … and looks in the whites like wearing a strait jacket.

  6. Gimblett says:

    The slow bowler’s full toss is the deadliest ball in all club cricket, as any crap club slow bowler knows. It’s like assisted suicide for batsmen.

  7. @ poopsie,

    I heard he stuck his chin out, pointed to it and said “hit me if you can”

    The rest is history.

  8. Sunny says:

    and a metrosexual replaced the most god fearing opening bully in cricket.

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