Invasion of the Akmals 3: Adnan’s Anger

On a planet far away in a galaxy that no telescopes could see lived a Queen Akmal. The Queen Akmal, perhaps the scariest of all the queens in all the galaxies, was a monster that no imagination could do justice too. Scales, tentacles, weird hangy bits, and hair everywhere, oh, she was as frightful a creature as there was. This monster had eaten up all the enemies on her planet. Then shit them out, only to re-eat them, mostly because that is how she survived. But when she was sick of pooping and eating the same people on rotation, she sent her favoured son out into the cosmos to find her new victims. At first the favoured Akmal did well, he devoured those on earth and kept his mother in new carcasses the way she liked it. The Queen was pretty damn happy with this, but then this Akmal got sloppy, lazy, shit and dodgy. The people of joice rejoiced that they had survived. The Queen was not amused, so she popped out a new favoured son, colouring his lips along the way. This son was loved briefly by all that saw him, even his earthly victims, but before long it was the same old shit, so to speak. The Queen’s sons had failed her twice, but while we are happy on earth knowing we have defeated the Akmals, she is getting ready for a third. The final son. The third Akmal. This son will not fail like his feeble puny pathetic brothers. This son shall not just bring her food and clean up for the other two, his job is to find a new queen and start creating even more Akmals so that the Queen will never have to rely on just one Akmal and our world will be nothing more than a feeding ground for lazy stupid Akmals. He is Adnan, he is Angry, he is AKMAL… Can we survive him?

Now in 3D.

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21 thoughts on “Invasion of the Akmals 3: Adnan’s Anger

  1. Rishabh says:

    Nah, I think my Matrix idea is better.

  2. knowledge_eater says:

    Brilliant

    I know may be this is actually true and they had planned it all along that they won’t perform consistently till they all play together. I don’t know if the world has enough strength left to fight against the final blow by Queen Akmal, if this one fails, be prepare for catastrophe.

  3. tracerbullet007 says:

    why are the akmal brothers so obsessed with keeping wicket? i’m sure that there is some psychological explanation for it….

  4. The Coder says:

    It is weird in that here in India, calling one’s mother a monster or names is grounds for a blood war. But you people talk all sorts of shit about other peoples mothers but to call someone a monkey, a common way to reprimand someone in India is bad. You people are real weird shit!

  5. Anant says:

    WTF some shitty, pathetic, over boiled egg shaped mind could produce this kind of story. Queen Akmal = PCB and who else? By the way PCB will make your mom produce more Akmals if anyone of their legendary bookies read your article. So be careful, someone might be on job while you are writing another shitty article…

  6. Rishabh says:

    TheCoder, is your last name Fanning?

  7. Matt says:

    Standing near the stumps is symbolic of fertility, the rigid phallus giving a nod to the holy trinity. An ultimate guarantee of success and it’s continuation after your passing

    Unfortunately the keepers role is to see this symbolic continuum disturbed. Hence the akmal story, a threesome so close to divine eternality and perpetual fecundity- which will ultimately disappoint. Both them and us

    An Unwitting object of self parody

    Like an wank interrupted by your own lack of foresight

    Like 3 brothers snagging each other up the date and hoping for parenting payments in nine months time

  8. Howe_zat says:

    NO

    NO

    THERE ARE TOO MANY

    WE CAN’T HOLD THEM

  9. The Coder says:

    Are you really that naive? JRod has a history of making fun of the Akmal Family. Seach in cricinfo. Sad!

  10. The Coder says:

    @Rishabh, Bingo! Fanning is the most common name here in India.

  11. tracerbullet007 says:

    guyz…this is a satirical blog….if you find offense with it, head to cricinfo or other news websites…. or is this a case of culture clash??

  12. Vin says:

    Coder is one of the AKMALS!!

    If not..pls have the sense to enjoy some satire..!!

  13. Vin says:

    jrod..is there somewhere else we can read your articles..?seems like this blog is your last priority..too less stuff for my appetite.

    • jrod says:

      Vin, I write for TWC on most mondays, but that is about it for online stuff at the moment, I do have a column starting soon on cricinfo.

  14. Deep Cower says:

    I like the idea of an over-boiled, egg shaped mind.

  15. knowledge_eater says:

    You know this might be the real ‘Keeper’ seeing his batting average low but # of catches decent. Because Kamran was defiantly forced keeper batsman. And I wanted to write blog about “MIA* – The choosen One – Javed Umar Miandad Akmal”

    But then i was like nahh i am too tired.

    *Missing In Action

  16. Sunny says:

    I heard they’re breeding another lad of the Akmal family, and he’s some fifteenish right now. No kidding there. Be prepared.

  17. Wes ~PFCNFS~ says:

    I hope for the sake of your life that Mrs Akmal likes these kinds of compliments… if Sunny speaks the truth you shall not be safe, nowhere! ^^

  18. Rishabh says:

    @The Coder – I don’t know if you got the really poor joke. Say “TheCoder Fanning” out loud.

  19. akmal says:

    great stuff, jrod! keep going. the saucier, the better!

  20. The Beggy G says:

    Hey @the coder,

    Yo’ Mama so ugly Wayne Rooney asked for a raincheck

    You cheeky monkey, you!

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