balls profile: ricky ponting

A great batsman with a very disagreeable face is what I would put on his tombstone. There are assholes who hide their assholishness, and there is Ricky Ponting, the sort of man who seems to proudly wear a badge that says asshole on his shirt. You’re perfectly allowed to hate him, I doubt it bothers him.  Has been described as a hairy armed goblin. Ricky has amazing integrity, he keeps it in a special glass cabinet that only he has to the key for.  Had some punchy while drunk problems years ago, but no one cares anymore.  In Ponting’s world view, we’re all wrong.  Bowls really cool medium pace, but very rarely.  His pull shot and this medium pace are my favourite things about him. My father believes he couldn’t captain his way out of a paper bag, one day I’d like to shrink him down to size and see if that is possible. Or get a big paper bag. Thinks that by spitting onto his hands he gives himself magic powers. It probably does.

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19 thoughts on “balls profile: ricky ponting

  1. I don’t think this whole all-time XI selection has any value other than just passing time arguing over a pint. However it is interesting to note that Australia’s second best batsman ever, is not even in the list of 88 for the all-time World XI. The only teams where I saw him selected for Cricinfo readers’ All-time Australian XI and Gideon Haigh’s excluded XI. Your profile may explain part of the reason why he’s been snubbed by all these selection panels.

  2. knowledge_eater says:

    What are the chances his spits have lot to do with his past/post profession ! Now Just imagine what other profession he would be successful were lot of spits are used for lubrication.

  3. Sunny says:

    you would think someone called ‘punter’ would be aggressive with his fields?

  4. @ elegantstroke – you’re not trying to subtly point out that Ponting recently captained a side that got bowled out for 88 are you?

    I see the troops – well Clarke, anyway – lined up behind him this week. Is Clarke talking him up like that basically telling everyone that he dosen’t think he is ready to take over from Punter yet?

  5. Deep Cower says:

    All this talk about an all time XI is quite boring, really. I would much rather have a discussion about a World XI that is fun, energetic, and makes you overflow with excitement every time they take the field. You know, one we can use to popularize cricket in the Americas. I propose:

    Neil McKenzie
    Geoffrey Boycott
    Hashan Tilakaratne
    Mohinder Amarnath
    Jacques Kallis the batsman
    Hashim Amla
    Don Sardha Brendon Priyantha Kuruppu
    Jacques Kallis the bowler
    Mudassar Nazar
    Monty Panesar
    Nathan Hauritz

    12th man: Jacques Kallis the fielder.

  6. jogesh99 says:

    Over-rated, but thats ok, hes entitled to it by complexion.

  7. Shaitaan says:

    Complexion, Jogesh, would probably entitle you to be called shit-faced.

  8. Heiku says:

    You forgot to mention that he is better than Tendulkar?

  9. raghu says:

    – In what?

  10. Piss says:

    @Elegntstroke hes not in the 88 cos he didnt made to the aus altime xi.

    And yes he is way better than Flopdulkar

  11. Ram5160 says:

    I vote for Kamran Akmal as keeper in Deep Cower’s eleven.

  12. holysmokes says:

    Balls profiles were better in my day.

    Jes kidding! Loved that bit about his integrity. Glad Ricky’s still in there tho – because every day he stays as captain means every day Clarke isn’t.

  13. Max says:

    @Piss, yeah, he’s way better than any other player in the last 25 years…when it comes to:
    a) rubbing palms after spitting copiously (and repeatedly)
    b) looking innocent as a baby and standing his ground after nicking to the keeper
    c) deeply respecting the umpire… as long as he rules him ‘not out’…particularly after (b)
    d) scowling and gesticulating at the opposition’s balcony while stomping off the ground
    e) setting shitty fields to spinners…or giving them liberty to set their own shitty fields
    f) sending a man to sweeper cover for the 1st delivery of Days 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5
    g) selecting bowlers to dismiss nos. 10 & 11
    h) handing over the Ashes to English skippers
    I’m sure there are probably a dozen other remarkable facets I missed… will save it up for Jan 7, 2011! :)

  14. Heiku says:


    In being a flat track bully.

  15. On the up says:

    His fielding and throwing arm would deserve a mention on the profile I thought.

  16. @Dean
    Did not mean it that way, but good subtle point you make there.

    I know why he is not in the 88, I just feel that’s not justifying if you consider only his calibre .

  17. BenSix says:

    It’s one of cricket’s tragedies. Hauritz could have Warne’s wrist and Murali’s fingers and he’d never get the ball to spin while Punter’s phlegm renders it so delectably smooth.

  18. jogesh99 says:

    Aaaw, whitey gots offended.
    Shaitaan, come lick it and check.

  19. Illusionisttt says:

    @deep cower:

    lol enjoyed your 11.Esp..Jack’ass’ Kallis part

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