What is your favourite Matthew Hayden Memory?

I love kissing wood.

I’m sure you have one.

Perhaps it was when he called India a third world country.

It could be when he said he often wonders what jesus would do out in the middle.

Maybe it is his first cook book.

But you can’t forget his use of the word skillsets.

The reason I am asking this is because you can win a signed copy of Hayden’s latest book “Standing my ground” if you can come up with an entry for cricket australia, but unfortunatley, you need to be an Australia Cricket family member. And I doubt you are. Unless you live in Melbourne and Sydney and want tickets for the first day of the test. Or, you’re one of those sick types who wants to feel like they are part of a corporate family that just takes your money.

Don’t be too sad, because I’ve found you another way you can own a piece of Hayden.

If you can, in 25 words or less, come up with a reason why Matthew Hayden inspires you, I’m assuming homicidal inspiration is ok, you can apply here.

Now, if you do apply, please put your 25 words or less in the comments so everyone can read them.

The best may make a post later on.

To get you started:

After watching Matthew Hayden’s innings against Zimbabwe I was inspired to start hitting people who I knew could not hit me back as hard.

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37 thoughts on “What is your favourite Matthew Hayden Memory?

  1. Leg Break says:

    It’s got to be something about kicking cockroaches

    Or God

    Or Jesus

    Or Racial Vilification

    I’d tried to forget about the cunt.

    25 words?

  2. Pete says:

    I fucking hate Matthew Hayden

  3. Heiku says:

    I fucking hate Matthew Hayden too.

  4. ass-tralian says:

    i wont be wasting my time reding crap of a bastard.

  5. ass-tralian says:

    i wont be wasting my time reading crap of a bastard.

  6. Sunny says:

    its racial vilification mate. its just not on!

  7. Lou says:

    One of my fond memories is of him post-retirement, mid-IPL spruiking and referring to himself over and over again as a product.

    The beancounters have well and truly infected that man’s mind.

    I suppose we should be grateful he didn’t refer to himself as a brand, he left that to MIchael Clarke’s PR team.

  8. Hitesh says:

    He’s not the Messiah in the middle , he’s a very naughty boy

  9. Hitesh says:

    If the dog that had attacked him in 2006 was rabid…We’d all remember him as the star of the show “Animals kill the daftest bastards”

  10. Govind Raj says:

    Sandwiched between Obnoxious Little Weed from Third World Country and Teri Maaki from Down Under; Hayden chose, Standing My Ground for IPL Booty !

  11. gary says:

    Why is there so much hate on this blog? It overshadows the wit.

  12. Rishabh says:

    Matthew Hayden is the best user of the Mongoose bat that ever lived – and he was pretty good in Tests and One Day Internationals too.

  13. knowledge_eater says:

    Who is Matthew Hayden ? I sent a Pic to that Nzlander blogger but he didn’t post. So I am going to try to post somewhere so Jrod can see it.

  14. jamie says:

    hahahaha, suck it. Hayden was an awesome, terrifying batsman and opening bowlers used to shot themselves when he was in form.

    Fuck I loved watching him bat. Pure intimidation. A big guy with a big bat who moosed it.

    And he loved smacking Indians around the park :)

  15. Gimblett says:

    His stint on TMS last year, where you could actually hear Christopher Martin-Jenkins squirming with embarrassment whenever Hayden opened his mouth.

  16. Gimblett says:

    ….which was good, because it meant you could still hate him even though he’d retired.

  17. Arv says:

    Hayden looked like a Bear, popularized the Mongoose and at first slip…caught everything like a Venus flytrap.

  18. humphrey hollins says:

    I love that mathew hayden would carry his bread maker around the world and only share his freshly baked bread with his fellow batsmen,no bowlers could taste his buns.
    What was that about loaves and fishes again matty?

  19. Matt says:

    Here’s my entry, suspect I might not make the shortlist
    Thanks for the inspiration Humprey

    ‘Because he was an enigma, on the one hand letting wood wielding colleagues taste his fresh buns, on the other a devout missionary man.’

  20. yenjvoy says:

    Hayden taught me that it is OK to bully non-white people and Poms, and cry foul when they try to give back in the same coin.

  21. yenjvoy says:

    Hayden inspired me to start calling my younger Sikh colleagues obnoxious weeds.

  22. Surprised to find a handful of Hayden haters here! :O

  23. Chris Weston says:

    Hayden on TMS, having spotted a member of the crowd dressed as Moses.

    “Hey Moses, where’s your ark?’

    This is my favourite Matthew Hayden, Christian and Commentator, moment.

  24. Hayden inspires me because he proves that overly religious people are hypocritic pricks.

    Hayden inspires me to become an agnostic.

    P.S. – Some nutcase on Cricinfo declared that Hayden was better than Trumper based on their averages. I almost puked.

  25. duncan says:

    i know i speak for all of nz when i say we all hate Matt Hayden. almost as much as we hate Punter. almost as much as we hate the Black Caps.

  26. AndyinBrum says:

    Making Boycott flounce out of the TMS commentating box is my favourite memory of Hayden. This absolves him of all previous twatishness

  27. fatalberton says:

    later in his career, when he really should have already retired, holding up test matches for ages, because a bus was driving down the road, behind the bowlers arm… in another city.

  28. namya says:

    Haydos was the best left handed Australian batter there ever was.. Pricky echoes my sentiments.. so what if its a biased view

  29. Nick says:

    no m8r how much ppl hate on him but he was BEAST! One of the most dangrous batsman ever seen. LEGEND!

  30. djbrd says:

    Playing and missing and playing and missing and then being bowled behind his legs by Flintoff just before lunch on the last day of the test at Old Trafford in 2005.

  31. Gimblett says:

    Chris Weston MUST win. First laugh-out-loud momnent for s few days.

  32. jogesh99 says:

    The crusading descendent of abo-scalpers obviously never smoked the stuff.

  33. Eddie says:

    Despite the fact that he was smashing us all over the park, I loved it when Mark Gillespie hit him in his foot not once but twice on both feet even breaking one of his toes. The fact that his team still lost was hilarious as well as his face after the game when McCullum hit the winning runs. It was an all round good game for Gillespie since he managed to score 28 of the best runs ever.

  34. Tweet says:

    I filled out the whole entry form for the competition with details that may or may not be my own and the following entry:

    After seeing Matthew Hayden on the cover of his new book I was inspired to beat a puppy to death with half a frozen kitten

  35. Ryan Man says:

    Matt is a renowned cook and devout Jesus-man who now carries the kits for Dhoni and Co. during their IPL escapades for Third World money.

  36. Mark says:

    I saw his book in Boarders bookshop in Sydney. I opened it, dropped a shit inside, closed it up and put it back on the shelf.

    Thanks for the memories Haydos!

  37. Benji says:

    My favourite Hayden moment is when he made Damien Martyn cry in the dressing room.

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