Marcus North fails

I don’t feel bad that he couldn’t do it for me.

It is such a shame to see a cricketer try so hard and fail.

That is what the decent crowd at Bangalore saw today, a professional cricket do his utmost, but just not make it.

It is heartbreaking, and no one who saw it left without a tear in their eye.

Oh, Marcus, you try so hard, but you couldn’t do it could you.

Now he is trapped in test cricket, perhaps forever, to taunt me.

No one will ever pay more dearly for a failure to fail than I will for Marcus North’s innings today.

Ofcourse, it isn’t that North has failed himself, he has failed me.

It’s like I am trapped watching him in some surrealist play where North lives his life on a knife edge, literally.  Greg Chappell owns a giant knife, and part of his new role in heading the NSP is him wearing silk robes and making Marcus North balance on the edge while he eats pickles and listens to the Jonas Brothers.  Occasionally people, like me, come in and throw various sex toys at him, and his every move is filmed in close up and shown back to him in HD. As for me I’m forced to watch the whole thing in a ballareina costume sitting in the world’s most uncomfortable theatre chair.

All North needed to do is fail and he could go back to shield cricket and get into cricket administration as soon as possible.  I’m sure he’d look good in a suit, and it would make me feel better.

When you are a professional cricketer with pride in your performance, failing is hard to do.  And, bless his little heart, North just couldn’t manage it. Not even for me.

Personally, I think that for the sake of my mental wellbeing the Australian selectors should just let North go.  Forget about the good of the team, think about me, slaving away everyday over a keyboard to write my work, and having the spectre of Marcus North ruining my work.

Winning isn’t everything, and if it is better for me that North is out, frankly the Australian team will just have to do without him.

Let him run free, let him live, oh why won’t they let him live, damn them all to hell.

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7 thoughts on “Marcus North fails

  1. Wes ~PFCNFS~ says:

    North would make me so angry if I hadn’t used up a whole life’s anger in the past 6 or 7 months. But at least we can’t moan about his inconsistency. One innings every half a year is exactly the reliability Oz needs from their batsmen especially among all these random factors like Watto (you can never tell when he’s going to fail next) or Hilfy (ditto).
    Gahhh.

  2. The Wrong'Un says:

    I like Marcus North. He looks like a friendly, happy piglet who has learnt to walk on two legs. If you look closely when he bats you can just about make out him mouthing two legs good four legs bad, over and over again.

  3. Wes, He is doing what the English usually do.

    We have a long history of batsmen who score a century once a year and keep their place in the team. Just look at the current top 6.

    In fact if you get an innings out of North every 6 months, then that is good by our standards as we judge it on an anual basis.

    Alastair Cooks century at the Oval against Pakistan means he can have another 10 failures in the Ashes series and his place won’t even be threatened. Apparently there is no other openers anywhere in England, or South Africa for that matter.

    And Collingwood, rather than score one century a year, he has mastered a new art. He has now discovered that being a good character in and around the dressing room is now apparently now more important than scoring runs.

    Just ask KP who scored more runs than him in the last test series but was dropped.

  4. lol..whether he scores less than 20 or makes a century doesn’t make a difference..you’re trashing the guy anyway…consistency doesn’t matter jrod.

  5. NICK says:

    HAHA HE ENDS UP TAKING 5 WICKETS AND THEN 100 WHENEVER U TRASHED THIS GUY ON UR BLOG. I HAVE FEELING HE COMES HERE AND READ THIS SHYT AND GETS MAD AS HELL AND THEN TAKE ALL HIS ANGER OUT ON THE OTHER TEAM BY TAKING WICKETS AND SCORING 100S :P

    MORAL OF THE STORY – DONT WRITE ANYTHING ABOUT NORTH BEFORE THE SERIES IS OVER!

  6. beta-tester says:

    go marcus!

  7. Lou says:

    jrod, he might as well stay with the national team. The Warriors sure as hell don’t need him, they are yanking Mickey Arthur’s ankle just fine already without the help of Mr 0 3 0 123 0 9 10 0.

    I’ve never seen so many ‘pissed off over a ton’ Aussie fans.

    The whole joke is that he was never going to get dropped even with another big fat zero next to his name. He and Huss are the welcoming gift for Swann to feel comfortable in Australia.
    Two nice and shaky lefties for him in the middle order all series. I think Hildie has big money on Swann being top wicket-taker.

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