balls profile: ian bell

Why Ian Bell has never actually ended up naked in a bird cage no one knows, but he does often bat for England. Occasionally at number 6 and frequently against Bangladesh Ian Bell looks like he is the perfect test batting machine. Mostly he looks like he has forgotten his pin while standing at the ATM. His 30 odds are made with calm and class, as is his walk from the field shortly after. Watching him can be a maternal moment for most people as we just want to take him and give him a hug, or choke him to death and throw him into a lake.

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11 thoughts on “balls profile: ian bell

  1. Dave says:

    You have captured the two most driving paternal instincts right there.

  2. poopsie says:

    “he does often bat for England”

    The imagine of Bell jerking off, wearing nothing but a Union Jack flag draped over his shoulders and the cross of St George painted on to his face was a little unnecessary

  3. hi says:

    and he got the ICC emerging player award in 2005

  4. Balaji says:

    Oh this emerging player submerging the careers of ppl…i tell u bell wud have been great had he not got it…

    Pathan , KP, Bell, Shaun Tait, Mendis, Siddle and now Finn…

    KP is bit by that curse too ….

  5. Deep Cower says:

    You are complaining about Bell’s mediocrity. Does this mean you’re now British?

  6. yenjvoy says:

    Balaji, great catch that. Did not know all these worthies were ICC emerging player award jinxees.

  7. Jackie says:

    The same Ian Bell who top scored in the first innings of the Ashes decider at the Oval? He got 72 while all Australia got was 160 all out. England led by 172 thanks in large part to Bell and Australia never caught up.
    So maybe jrod is getting twitchy?
    Since his return to the side Bell has averaged 53 and before his injury was England’s leading batsman. Back from injury Bell got a century to save his County Warwickshire from relegation and then three days later another ton in the CB40 Final to win the trophy for the Bears at Lords.
    The ICC Emerging Player of the Year was awarded to Bell in 2006 after three consecutive Test centuries against Pakistan.
    As for his so-called ’30 odds’ – he’s only ever had 7 in a 100 Test innings, and one of those was 39*. But why let facts get in the way of a good smear?

    • jrod says:

      jackie, he averages 37.55 against all test playing nations that are not Bangladesh. King of the 30 odd? And 30 odds is not a score in the 30s, it’s when you are set and looking good, and then fuck up. When you average in the 30s in test cricket after nearly 50 test matches, I’d say you’ve done that more than once.

  8. poopsie says:

    One of his best

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