The great test cliché guide

After a test that good, you can get tired.

You are tired from living through the last moments of it, and then you get further drained by the conversations after it.

Especially from those people who have never mentioned cricket in 7 years, but suddenly pretend to be as obsessed as you are because they happened to catch the last ten minutes of the match, or heard a radio presenter sound enthused.

If you are sick of dealing with these people, you can say any of the below clichés and walk away leaving them with something profound to think about.

That was for those who say test cricket is dead.  Ha, ha.

Cricket is the big winner.

In a test like that it’s a shame that there has to be a loser.

Both teams can hold their heads high after this brilliant advert for test cricket.

A true contest between bat and ball.

This will bring the crowds back to test cricket.

This test has saved test cricket.

It doesn’t matter who wins, it’s just great to have a match that close.

Who cares about T20 today?

If ever anyone doubted Test cricket’s ability to capture the hearts and minds of the people, they won’t after today.

One wicket wins were better in my day.

Thanks to those on twitter who clichéd me up.

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9 thoughts on “The great test cliché guide

  1. Rishabh says:

    Time to scrap the ODIs.

  2. raj says:

    “Australia fight to the last minute”
    “Australia dont give an inch”

    If India had lost
    “India lack killer instinct”
    “Aussies play for pride; Indians play for money, Proud patriots expectedly run over IPL greedy pigs”

  3. kny789 says:

    you’re welcome jrod.

    But although they were better in your day, this is the best one I’ve ever seen

  4. Ram5160 says:

    I sometimes think that Shastri doesnt even watch the match when he commentates. Whenever something happens, he just spews one of these cliches at random adding ” Tracer Bullet ” now and then.

  5. Matt says:

    Yep that was some god awful commentary, hog as trust commentator make Hogg the test bowler look like a genius

  6. Deep Cower says:

    We should have an entire comment section based on commentator cliches. I’ll start:

    Ram5160: Your comment was up in the air, but in the gap as well.

    (Well, of course it doesn’t make sense.)

  7. Yawn says:

    Comments in this section used to be better in my days


  8. Maithreyi says:

    That last one’s my favourite.

    Yeah, one exciting finish and Test cricket’s suddenly All That. Well, I call BS. Half this match was unwatchable, and it was as much mediocrity on the part of the officials and the players of both teams that we got a close finish at all.

  9. Ram5160 says:

    “This comment shot towards Deep Cower like a Tracer Bullet who makes a diving stop. You just can’t keep Deep Cower out of the game”

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