KP is human, and that unsettles me

There is something wonderfully insane about KP.

Sure you can pick on the old hairstyle, stupid tattoo, celebrity lady, mincing or what ever it is you’ve decided is the thing that pisses you off.

Most of us just assume he isn’t quite human.

He doesn’t quite feel right.

So today, once Shafiul Islam had bowled himself into the ground, KP looked around and realised that he was facing three spinners who he played like they weren’t spinning the balls, and Shahadat Hossain who was struggling to do anything.

He could have taken the Ian Bell route. Nudged the ball around. Scored at will with a field set back. Eased the crowd in a gentle but deep sleep. Made sure he kept his head. Milked the poor bowling.

People do this in life. It isn’t bad, it’s work. They know their bosses are watching and that a steady consistent performance will give them results, no matter how boring the job is.

KP seems almost unable to bat when he is bored.

Instead of pushing it around, he lifted the ball over the off and on side for fun, even with fielders out. He made 64 off 81 while the rest of the team batted line prozac users.

After lunch he charged, hoiked and slogged the spinners.

He scored 48 off 42 balls from them.

For most of those 42 balls he looked very bored.

Occasionally he would start to come down the wicket before the ball was bowled, there was unnecessary shots across the line, and hitting balls in the air for fun.

The fact that, yet again, he went out to a left arm bowler seems to be less the story than how bored he looked in the middle.

His dismissal came from him charging down the wicket, getting out played by Shakib, and then KP standing mid pitch with only one hand on the bat as he was stumped.

But here is the rub, in almost every way KP is some sort of alien insect being. Most of us would never think of KP as someone like us.

Yet, how many of us have done a shit job at work because of boredom. How many times have you played it fast and loose with some tedious job only to fuck it up? Is it possible that you believed a task was beneath you, and you yawned your way towards doing it badly?

I always get bored, I fuck up all menial jobs, and my whole working life was doing shit at work. I am sure I am not alone.

If you haven’t done any of these, you are probably related to Mike Hussey.

For the rest of us, this is a sick realization, because if you think about it, there is more than a little bit of KP in you.

Somehow it was easier to just think he was alien.

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8 thoughts on “KP is human, and that unsettles me

  1. Zyon says:

    “he was facing three spinners who struggle to spin the ball”
    Shakib didn’t have much trouble today, did he?

    6 five wicket hauls, including one in South Africa, isn’t bad for a bowler who struggles to spin the ball. I don’t think Shakib gets enough credit. If you look at his figues in Tests and ODIs, you will see he’s a pretty good spin bowler. You also have to consider that he bowls a lot of overs in a struggling team.
    Btw, I no this post didn’t have much to do with Shakib
    .-= Zyon´s last blog ..My day at Lord’s =-.

    • jrod says:

      I’ve given him a lot of credit before, but he isn’t a big spinner. He did spin some today, but I don’t think KP was thinking that and I don’t think he span one till KP was set.

  2. Zyon says:

    Btw, I know this post didn’t have much to do with Shakib.

  3. Gana says:

    Recently RD ( Rahul Dravid) rightly said that it would be a shame if KP does not end up with 25 test hundreds by the time he hangs up and he also mentioned that he has told KP the same.
    Boredom can one of the reasons why KP might never reach it:)

  4. Ceejaypee says:

    Bang on again: there has to be a challenge or something gladiatorial in order for KP to knuckle down. Its an adrenaline thing. He averages 50 against Australia, Bell 25, and 64 against Bangladesh, Bell a modest 197.

    And only the odd ball turned yesterday. Other than KP, the wickets that fell or that werent given looked to me to be batsmen playing for turn, and getting the inside edge or being struck on the pad.

    And yes, KP failed again for 64, he just can’t play these left armers can he?

  5. Shaitaan says:

    I’ll take KP over a probot like Hussey anyday. Except, of course, that the probot will grind my team to more wins, while KP will get stumped going for a switch-hit six after a breezy 45 off 28 balls leaving the side to collapse for 206, at which point I’ll curse KP and laud the probot. Though of course, I’ll still watch KP live and leave the probot for the highlights. Although…

    Yes, I’m very very confused.

  6. Nick says:

    Still dont get why u din’t write anything about SHANE BOND ( He retired from all froms of cricket and the only bowler who use to scare the shyt out of aus team so i really think he deserve a blog from you dont u think?????) but u have enough time to write stuff about this Alian KP! come on Jrod

    • jrod says:

      Nick, he has played one test in 3 years. I like him and all, but he is as relevant as my novel on Robin Smith’s moustache.

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