Is Cameron White the new Shane Watson?

Another post from the Omitted. A new omitted as well, I am building an army of omitted volunteers now.
For the last couple of summers, the only thing I have enjoyed more than Mango Weis Bars in the bath has been been hurling abuse at Shane Watson and wishing every move he made resulted in another broken toe nail that would rule him out of the next series.  Not because I knew he couldn’t play – I have always been a huge fan of his batting – but there has been so much to dislike the way he carries himself that overshadows all of his (then) underperforming skills. And then he found himself in South Africa and Abu Dhabi and my abuse turned into applause.

I needed a new target. I did not have to look very far. I have disliked Cameron White for years. The fact his name rhymed with Shitey reminded me there is in fact a (cricket) God. I am not alone it is fair to be said.
Hatred is too harsh a word. I hate warm beer, I don’t hate Cameron White. I just thoroughly disliked him. Part jealousy of the ride the has been given, part arrogant demeanour he gives off – I have yet to see him come in for a beer after a game, he never uses anyone’s name when saying hello, I even played in a game when he captained the great Shane Warne and set his fields for him. Warney responded by ensuring that the ball went everywhere the fielders weren’t just to prove a point.

In the same game I looked up at the scoreboard when he came out to bat and his List A average was 16. How could this bloke be captaining the strongest domestic team averaging 16, pulling facial expressions of a retarded Labrador and bowling more slop than is thrown onto plates of homeless shelters around the country. He could catch, and is the still best slipper in the country. But how does this push you through the national selection set up? Was he giving hand trolleys to Big Merv?

He was the laughing stock of the professional cricketing circuit in Australia. He would bully them in the winter at Taunton to prop up his floundering first class average that in itself was propped up by batting behind Hodge and Hussey on the slow wickets of the MCG.

There was the Indian Test tour debacle that had people closing one eye to avoid seeing such a demeaning act of the sacred baggy green and one open to not miss a second of laughter. Even Sachin felt sorry for him.  This however proved to be  a turning point – it was as though he too realised he could not bowl and to comfort himself he decided to become the most kick arse one day batsman in the world.
It is fair to say I am now a convert. His hundred at the ‘Gabba was as good as I have ever witnessed. Not just the stroke play, but how he timed his run, the eased of how he dealt with pressure. It was nothing short of world class. I still secretly harbour desires to kick him hard in the shins, twice, but in his form, he would probably wind up and slog sweep me over mid wicket for six.

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0 thoughts on “Is Cameron White the new Shane Watson?

  1. horatius says:

    Is Cameron White the new Shane Watson?

    Depends. Does his mother hate him?

  2. Gagger says:

    He’s a fucken slogger
    .-= Gagger´s last blog ..SANZAR sees sense =-.

  3. Yawn says:

    Not so soon! Give Watson some time.

    Get well soon, Dravid!

  4. Lou says:

    He doesn’t appear arrogant, just quiet.

    Which means he’s nothing like knobend Watson who spends his life devising ways to get his name in the press even if it means demeaning the entire team with tantrums in front of Chris Gayle.. I suppose at least he is devising the best way to get in the press and that is play properly.

    Who is omitted? It isn’t Brett Geeves is it? I imagine not, it would be funnier if it was.

  5. anon says:

    Whitey isn’t arrogant, just quiet or unsure of himself ( foreign concept to you, jrod)

    Arrogant is always mouthing off in the press about how good you are, or doing JC superstar impressions. Or seeing yourself at the centre of the whole cricket world .

    I notice yourself yourself off your latest poll – why the sudden shyness? I’d vote for you even over Watson and bhjaii-face.

    • jrod says:

      Anon, why did you bring me into this? I was just minding my own business, I even agree with you, although I wouldn’t call White unsure, I’d call him mildly socially retarded.

      Lou, It isn’t Geeves. Fast bowlers require too much editing.

  6. Rishabh says:

    Pakistan made him look better than he is.
    .-= Rishabh´s last blog ..IPL 3 – Transfers – You read it here! =-.

  7. Jonno says:

    The only blonde Aussie cricketer who doesn’t make you want to stow their peroxide bottle deep inside them is Shane Warne, and that’s the way it will always be.

  8. matt says:

    Ahh Watto, I seem to recall suggesting recently that he’d become a sensational batsman and bowler at test level (pats self on back in smug, self aggrandising Watson like style)

    I quite like White too, always rated him as a batsman, and I tink he can make the jump to test level- would like to see him in in place of North should North falter some more. I reckon he’s got less chance of matching Watsons efforts with the ball, but a sight more chance of taking wickets than North.

  9. Sach says:

    White is meh. He’s the kind of player you tend to not notice even when he makes a double hundred only with boundaries.
    .-= Sach´s last blog ..Two Idiots =-.

  10. poopsie says:

    Jrod – long term readers of this site would argue that leg spinners also require a lot of editing

  11. Rishabh says:

    Whoa there poopsie… no we don’t!
    .-= Rishabh´s last blog ..IPL 3 – Transfers – You read it here! =-.

  12. Sunny says:

    you can’t fool us jrod..err “the omitted”. we always knew you loved cam.

  13. alex says:

    Whitey is shit. He bowls worse than sachin and yuvaraj. He is not a bowler for sure. His batting is slogging. He even did not do in indian tour.

    He is like justin kemp. kemp supposed to be greater than dhoni when dhoni came into indian team.

    Aussie selection sucks. Dirk should play Test matches. I would watch kim knock out people. :D

  14. namya says:

    White is the poster boy for all those who believe they can be called great without being anywhere close to good..
    .-= namya´s last blog ..It feels good to hit someone like Dravid =-.

  15. Sunny says:

    White is the poster boy for all those who believe they can be called great without being anywhere close to good..

    shit..he is just like watson.

  16. Dirty Sanchez says:

    Please lets not overshadow the fact that Shane watson is a bigger cunt than pauline Hanson by bringing us an apprentice. There IS and ONLY EVER will be one such fuck knuckle. Cam White is part retarded (check out is face if you dont believe me), but he is nowhere near the cunt-level of Shane Watson. Watto – Bowl, turn around, walk back to mark, bowl. Bat, pull length balls, flick off toes, drive past bowler. Do NOT pass go, and please do not try to intimidate batsmen whilst doing any of the above. You will either cramp up, or look like McCauley Culkein after he outwits a burgular.

  17. alex says:

    I hope tamim iqbal scores 300+ and make mince meat of this stupid indian bowling. This is toothless attack. How does india become number 1?.

    If you remove sehwag , this team will play for draw at best situation. Pathetic.

    It seems Bangladesh do not look ordinary to me. They have better score for first wicket down.

    Go bangla Tigers. Go.

    Hope sachin break his shoulder , back and everything. I see now itself sachin do not want to face steyn and company. He may take injury time/rest against south africa!.

    Mark my words. If you know sachin , that is what he do.

    Sneaky midget!. :D

  18. Jonathan says:

    Jonno, you are a disgrace to the name.
    .-= Jonathan´s last blog ..Clarity on horrific crimes =-.

  19. Chris says:

    So who is the new new Shane Watson?
    And if the push in the media and a few blogs continues and North finds his test spot gone, is Cameron the man who became Cameron (

  20. jogesh99 says:

    The prick I really dislike though, now that Ponting is aging and losing his edge (the arss must be angling for a commentary job with an Indian network) , is smarmy Clarke.

    • jrod says:

      Cam, Nope, not Ed. He was a NSWales boy, I have standards.

      Labrat, yes, why not.

      OPG, Yes, when he got Sachin out.

  21. alex says:

    Clarke is a guy in corporate ladder…who are very eager to please their boss for anything. They are mostly talentless…they are only good in sucking to boss and be traitor to others.

    Symmonds-Clarke tussle prime example of that.

    I hate those guys , so i dislike Michale clarke. I hope he makes a blunder so i can poo all over him. Hahaha :D

  22. Labrat says:

    Is Doug Bollinger Scott Styris’ love child?

  23. Offended Pasta God says:

    Did White ever cry after being injured like Watson did in 2005?

  24. Belly says:

    You people are all going directly to Hell for not giving respect to your new master The Bear. He is a batting enigma that will soon be the cornerstone of our Test team for many years (he’s still only young) and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s secretly training hard and will re-emerge as a spinner who can actually turn his stock ball, making him an all-rounder par excellence…

    PS Does ‘The Omitted’ actually choose to write under a pseudonym or do you decide that for him. Because it’s pretty gay to take potshots at someone on a forum and not leave your name. Bet you wouldn’t say that stuff to The Bear’s face, it wouldn’t be your bowling that he’d be dismantling…

    • jrod says:

      Belly, Cam has been working on his legspin for ages, will be interesting if Ponting or even himself trusts it again. All the omitteds write under the pseudonym as they work for various boards who would fire or fine them for saying what they believe. I give them an outlet, but if it wasn’t under this banner, they couldn’t do it. Although they may do it drunkenly in pubs with their mates.

  25. Shane Watson Envy says:

    I’ve never seen an Albino, 3% retarded bear – but that’s only cause Cam White, is not actually a bear