Victoria are the champions of the Racist Chicken Franchise’s bash, for the 4th time out of 5.
They won the final without their captain, import, best 2020 player or CWB’s Nice Bryce McGain.
They did have the raw beastly power of Dirty Dirk Nannes, a man cricket with balls was talking up when people thought he was a mythical beast of my creation.
Nothing mythical about him now, the dude has travelled the world kicking ass, taking names and bearding all over batsmen.
The Australian selectors still want to distance themselves from him most of the time, and I understand that, his masculinity scares them.
But in this final he picked South Australia up like a rag doll.
8 runs in 4 overs.
There was also the wicket of their courageous leader, 8 runs in 4 overs, that is like scary good.
That is like finding out William Shatner is your dad good.
Dirty Dirk was beating South Australia with essentially one little finger (like you know who) so he even threw in a wide, just for giggles.
Now Victoria is once again of the hirsute one’s shoulders.
I haven’t seen a ball of it, but I know how it all went down.
Dirk entered the ground with his top off and the live version of Blind by Korn pumping.
Women fainted, men fainted, aliens fainted.
The crowd then regained consciousness and got in a collective group hug waiting for Dirk to end their dreams, and their children’s dreamds, and their children’s children’s ….
Dirk stood at the top of his mark and breathed fire, literally, for 2 minutes straight before coming in and bowling thunderbolts, literally.
The crowd was heartbroken, and yet aroused.
Any moment of the game that Dirk wasn’t playing was like watching a friend play a cricket computer game, against the computer.
Then, Dirty Dirk Nannes prevails.
The world can then settle down again knowing that there is a force far greater than them out there, it makes them feel insignificant and content at the same time.
If you are one of those people that think 2020 cricket isn’t real cricket, or that this is a passing fad, let me say this, who gives a fuck, the Vics keep winning at it.
Bring on India so the Vics can lose form for the champion’s league again.
Viva La Dirty Dirk!