Its good to be the bad guy, Shane

This is a post by a young kiwi Andrew Fernando.

It’s no secret in the cricketing world that unless they are themselves Australian, cricket fans regard it their eternal, unyielding duty to despise the Australian cricket team for all they’re worth. At times, this loathing is deserved. New Zealand was so deeply traumatized by the Chappell brothers incident in 1981 for example that the word ‘underarm’ is considered the filthiest of expletives here. It makes me blush just to write it. But at other times, perhaps, just maybe, Australia don’t deserve the rap they get from overseas. They probably do though. Bastards.

Lately however, the Aussies have been a little harder to hate. No more McGrath, stomping down the pitch, viciously hurling red faced obscenities at hapless batsmen. No more Warne, smugly swindling the opposition out of valuable wickets. No more Matthew Hayden, catching ridiculous sized fish in between pummelling bowling attacks into the nether. Even post-Ashes 2009 Ricky Ponting seems an obliging marshmallow compared to the dastardly conniving figure everyone so passionately scorned following the Sydney test in 2008.

In the larger scheme of things, a more likeable Australia is far from ideal. International cricket deserves, nay, needs a villain. For who is Superman without Luthor, Batman without the Joker, or James Bond without cringe inducing dialogue? The bad guy’s been Australia for so long that it makes no sense for it to be anyone else. Can you imagine yourself being repulsed by the on-field actions of those rotten Bangladeshis? Most of the players in that team look like they are yet to go through puberty. Fans are more likely to want to adopt them than abhor them. Nope. It’s got to be Australia. This softening act they’ve put on over the last few months simply won’t do.

Enter Shane Watson.

I sit here, knowing that I am an imperfect human being because I yearn for him to fall over in some comical fashion each time I lay eyes on him. Don’t get me wrong. He is a wonderful player. But there is something so unlikable about him. Even a cursory search of cricket blogs around the interwebs shows that I am not the only one who feels this way. He gets out on ninety-something and twitter is alive with a thousand elated cricket fans, some from within Australia, all expressing their joy at his demise.

But lately I’ve begun to think that Watson is really an incredibly selfless guy, who’s actually attempting to do us all a favour. Noone can be that disagreeable unless they are actually trying to be so. He knows that the game needs someone we can all dislike, so he’s taken it upon himself to be that person.  This whole distasteful public persona is just a clever ruse to give the cricketing world what it needs. He has a family and a partner who seemingly love him. Surely he can’t actually be as distasteful a person as he would have us believe. And the fact that his attempts to appear obnoxious have been way over the top recently is a dead giveaway.

Take his recent 98. The most striking thing about that innings is the manner in which he employed that most obnoxious of shots, the pull, to maddeningly good effect. Not only did he pull everything short of a length, but he did it in the most obnoxious manner possible. There is a sort of deft precision when Tendulkar plays the pull. Elegant finesse when Michael Vaughan does it. Watching Watson pull was like getting bullied in primary school. Noone can play the pull shot that obnoxiously unless they are purposely trying to be annoying. I mean, come on!

Not to mention the incident with the West Indian captain. Everyone knows Chris Gayle is one of the most universally liked characters in world cricket. He hammered the Windies to twenty million dollars while Stanford made merry with the opposition’s wives, reckons Test Cricket is not really his thing while maintaining an average of over forty and is the veritable walking definition of cool. Watson knows that making a childish fuss about getting Gayle’s wicket is likely to peeve a lot of people  off. So that’s exactly what he does. Noone honestly thinks that jumping up and down screaming like a tween at a Twilight film is a good idea, when the guy you’ve just dismissed is Chris freaking Gayle! Nobody.

So I guess we should all thank you, Shane Watson for restoring the cricketing world to the way it should be. You picked a less than attractive role of being the scoundrel and made yourself very good at it. I was once again overjoyed to see you glove one to second slip just two runs short of a century, but only because you played the part of ‘arrogant prick’ so well.  Well played sir. Well played.

Tagged ,

0 thoughts on “Its good to be the bad guy, Shane

  1. theskiver says:

    “He has a family and a partner who seemingly love him”

    On the other hand, so did Hitler.

    (Welcome, and congratulations on not being mistaken for Jrod)

  2. Reisa says:

    haha… this is good! Keep it up!

  3. Sach says:

    @theskiver, how could anyone mistake this for Jrod. There weren’t any typos etc.

    And about Twatto, sometimes I honestly feel sorry for the guy. Did I say something wrong? OK I take it back.
    .-= Sach´s last blog ..Celebrating New Year 40,000ft Above Sea Level =-.

  4. Sunny says:

    i don’t know…stuey broad is doing a bang up job of being a complete tosser.

  5. Steve says:

    Chris “fuck, I’m cool, ya know I am” Gayle is a tossing bore. If he was white, he’d be almost as bad as Twatto and beauty queen Broad.

    But Twatto has it all over Gayle when it comes to girlfriends. Lee Furlong is the hottest sport/partner in the world, now that Tiger Wood’s wife’s Elin has retired from the competition.,23739,23358266-5016380,00.html .

  6. MJ says:

    Surely if it’s a villain you’re after you need look no further than Brad Haddin. The fact is Watson is just a dickhead, and no-one likes a dickhead.

  7. jogesh99 says:

    India is the new Australia – No. 1 in the world, and their captain is shooting his mouth off, though we cant say anything against him on this blog.

    Isn’t Tendulkar already the most hated player inthe world – just ask Alex.

  8. alex says:

    Sachin douchebag scored century against bangladesh. He is feasting on low quality bowling. Sneaky midget. He should have let youngster play against team like bangladesh, Oh well. What can you expect from a stat whore. :D

    But he has to catch ponting , he will not miss out even if india play against weakest team.. Even Bcci will arrange few more Tests against Bangladesh and Srilanka in Indian Flat tracks.

    It is kind of Sammy sosa vs Mark mcguire Home run chase.

    I want ponting to win but odds are against him because ponting is a team man.

    Also i noticed that bangladesh players are so small. When shaqdat got his wicket , these guys were hugging him , they were only up to his hip. It was funny.

  9. kr says:

    Can I just say how much I love alex? He’s the Shane Watson of this website, flamer extraordinaire. I can’t quite believe it’s a person, but what an entertaining bot it is.

  10. Yawn says:

    I will not reveal the secret behind coinbox as long as Alex does not get his toilet fixed and keeps pooping here. Gosh! I need to wade thru all the alex-shit while looking up comments section! Greasemonkey to the rescue? ;)


  11. kr says:

    CMON, Yawn. Alex is certainly the most entertaining commenter on these blogs. If Twatto were dropped, how would we sadists get our kicks? Same with Alex. Long may he continue to post his pearls.

  12. Mock Wah says:

    Andrew u lucky swine!!
    .-= Mock Wah´s last blog ..SURPRISED!!? =-.

  13. CM says:

    Yawn, I thought you were donating towards Jrod’s whiskey with coinbox! You have some other agenda? tsk, tsk.

  14. Timothy says:

    Come on Yawn – What would be the state of the comments section without you-know-who’s poop and coinbox?

    As for the article, Stuey Broad is fighting real hard for the title of the biggest prick in world cricket. The ICC Douchebag ratings would go as

    1. Stuart Broad (It’s genetic)
    2. Watson
    3. Chris Broad (He’s retired but has an honorary membership in this club)
    4. Harbhajan (Always around here)
    5. Ricky (His place at the top a few years back is already a distant memory)
    6. Prior (A big mouth, but a bigger gap between bat and pad most of the time)
    7. Zaheer (Why does this guy mouth off when he’s hit by a Bangladeshi?)
    8. Clarke (Ambitious bastard ruined Symmo’s career)
    9. KP
    10. Sreesanth

    No prizes for guessing which team trumps in this category at the Awards.

  15. alex says:

    Top 10 douchebags.

    1. Sachin – worst …so he takes top 3 rank.
    2. Sachin
    3. Sachin
    4. Sreesanth
    5. bhajji/zaheerkan
    6. chris broad.
    7. michael clarke- I hate this guy , another selfish whore…me me dude
    8. Haddin – false stumping…
    9. Sangakarra – another selfish sneaky guy in micahel clarke mode
    10. Watson – i think he is more lucky guy than talent.


  16. Sunny says:

    anyone wanna take a crack at top 10 douchebags who comment on cwb?

  17. alex says:

    i would love to see ponting rest himself when aussie tour bangladesh for test series next time. That will teach sachin douchebag a lesson. :D

    Strauss doing , dhoni kinda did and allowed karthik to get a game.

  18. alex says:

    My target is only Sachin and sachin fans. I tell you the truth. Sort of. :D

    My filter see only sachin douchebag and his loyal shit worshipping fans (monkeys).

    I do not see CWB fellow posters. Each rant in their own style. I see in black and white.

    Sachin fans and Non Sachin fans. Sachin fans should be abused , tortured , burned and hang on the door like sachin….stupidest humans on the face of earth. Why do anyone make a loser a GOD this and that is beyond any common sense.

    May be in their alternate universe mind , LOSS is VICTORY?. SELFISHNESS is CHARITY?


    There is one true GOD. That is sehwag. Only in batting though. I despise his captaincy. Kinda clueless like his mouth is. He should never insult opposition even they are lilliputians.

  19. jogesh99 says:

    You got to have Yuvraj in your top 10. Only decent thing he did was maul Broad.
    And no Paki – now thats clinching evidence of the decline of this once great team.

  20. jogesh99 says:

    CWB should be renamed CWA.

  21. jrod says:

    Sach, good point.

    Jogesh, In Australia the CWA is the country women’s association.

  22. Lou says:

    It isn’t even his behaviour, it’s his ‘alone and crying’ face.

  23. Johnny Twoshoes says:

    theskiver –

    I think the reason none of us confused this post was the bold title at the top. As I recall, your comments previously mistaken for Mr Jrods with much hilarity just had the ‘posted by’ little thing that no-one ever reads. Mystery solved?

    I was agreeing absolutely with the Shane Watson for biggest douchebag thing but then I was reminded of Stuart Broad, Brad Haddin, Bhajji and Sreesanth. It seems theres nothing in it with all to play for.

  24. alex says:

    No one can beat Sreesanth in dickedness. Then bhajji , Broad , watson and haddin in the order.

    Ya Jrod did the smart thing by saying in Big letters!. I think everyone read who wrote this piece.

    Problem solved.

  25. alex (fake) says:

    And I am a lowlife who can only fling poo at Sachin. That’s the only thing I do day in and day out. I have nothing else to live for.

  26. No one can beat beat the Broad clan for douchebaggery. The entire SA-England series was an example of the emo douche Stuart Broad show how to do it. Taking a referral when the entire stadium let alone your sorry ass knows you have nicked it is the ultimate example.
    .-= Dhananjay Mhatre´s last blog ..Cricket – Ranji Madness =-.

  27. alex says:

    I got a fake alex…hmm impressive…i am so good…:D

    Bring it on sachin loser fans. :D

  28. alex (fake) says:

    There can only be one alex. Nobody could be this much of a loser if he tried. He has to be born.

  29. alex says:

    Clone for loser. Hahaha. Awsome. :D