Kiwi bowlers should go on strike

Great bath!! on TwitpicSince getting a kiwi test bowler to write some of my book for me it has come to my attention how hard working they are as a species.

Mr O’Brien put in about three drafts of his chapter, which is probably more than I had for the book in total.

He was a busy writer, offering alterations, trying to get it the best he could, really putting in the full 100% percent and taking it one word at a time.

But I didn’t make him write the whole book.

That would have been rude.

He did his part, got it right, and then I let him rest.

That seems to be the problem with New Zealand’s top order, they let their bowlers shoot out Pakistan for under 300, and then a couple of hours later make the bowlers try and save the day.

Their opening batsmen don’t seem to be able to survive an over.

The rest of their batsmen seem to hope Ross Taylor will do the job.

Then Prince Brendon and Dictator Dan have to make as many runs as they can with tired bowlers.

Not fair.

Generally with New Zealand if you want to know what total they will make, you take their total at 4 wickets down, and triple it.

And it isn’t like their tail is like England’s (IE: better than their top order), their tail has the worst batsmen in world cricket (Martin), test cricket’s greatest blogger but shit batsman (IOB), and Daryl Tuffey.

Not a lot of fire power there.

In the old days they might have even declared at 8 wickets down.

These guys bowl, bat and blog, while their batsmen don’t even fucken bat.

Not good enough.

I suggest that all the Kiwi bowlers decide to not bat from here on in until their top order starts making runs. A simple, “fuck you guys, we’re tired”, will suffice. They’ll get the message after a while.

Obviously Dictator Dan doesn’t have to; we know he would go mental if one of his many jobs were taken away. He probably edits IOB’s blog at night as well.

But the rest of them just together and declare the innings shut at 7 wickets down. Force the batsmen to take the handle out of their asses and really try and use it.

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0 thoughts on “Kiwi bowlers should go on strike

  1. alex says:

    NZ depends on Ross taylor to score big every time and put too much pressure on him. The NZ batsman are useless.

    Fulton simply sucks. Main reason is this. Pakistan bowlers far better than they ever faced in domestic.

    Nz batsman do not have the tenacity or temparament or fighting quality in their batsman. They are just scared.

    Only vettori and no one else. If they had 11 vettori , NZ will be number 1 team in the world.

    Without Bond , NZ is toast!. I am not good opinion on Obrien as bowler , they should have played the southie guy.

    Anyways now NZ learns the importance of BOND.

  2. NZ already knows the importance of Bond but they can hardly select him if he’s injured.

    As for your comment, “I am not good opinion on Obrien as bowler”, Alex, have you actually watched any of this Test match? IOB bowled bloody well both days and was unlucky not to have taken more wickets, particularly given he got the Pakistanis to miss the edge so many times. His spell on Day 5 last week turned the first Test and gave NZ victory. He does the difficult job of bowling into the wind and is commended every single time he bowls by the commentators for his effort & heart. IOB over Southie for me every time.
    .-= SarahCanterbury´s last blog ..Shivnarine Chanderpaul =-.

  3. AndyinBrum says:

    What Sarah said, but with extra Whoop Ass

  4. Rishabh says:

    IOB is definitely a captain’s dream, but I don’t think either Tuffey or Southee should be picked – James Franklin needs a good run to bring his allround talent to international cricket.
    .-= Rishabh´s last blog ..Sehwag paints the field red =-.

  5. AndyinBrum says:

    Alex, i feel my comments were not quite right, forgive me.

    You’re a screaming fucktard.

  6. Arse. Spelt Southee wrong – must have been subconsciously influenced by what Alex had written, in spite of disagreeing with him so much. Pah.

    Having watched Franklin do rather well against Kent for Gloucestershire this summer, Franklin is not a bad shout at all.
    .-= SarahCanterbury´s last blog ..Shivnarine Chanderpaul =-.

  7. Arse again. Please substitute the word “him” in place of the first “Franklin” in my second post above. Thank you!
    .-= SarahCanterbury´s last blog ..Shivnarine Chanderpaul =-.

  8. CM says:

    Alright, I’ll ask. Why is that picture in there Jrod? Is it Freddie as Jesus commanding the Kiwi bowlers to go on strike?

  9. CM says:

    The complexity of your relationship with Mr. IOB humbles me

  10. CM says:

    I was just joking :). But good to know!

  11. alex says:

    IOB may have written half the book of high priest , i still think IOB is not good bowler. he give up too many runs for my taste.

    You can’t be good in one spell and give away freebies in another spell.

    What NZ need is fast bowler with consistent 145kph speed. I know Bond is the difference maker. He put up so much effort he gets injured.

    One guy i really hate is kyle mills. Hope Nz never select him. Another one is slacker oram.
    I just do not like slackers in any Team.

    IOB talks a lot but no effort on the field. If he put half the effort in bowling , he will be better bowler.

    I disagree with you all in IOB as bowler. NZ compete well , it is just that they do not have the resources like aussies , or subcontinent team with lot of population.

    I like southee better than IOB as bowler. He can improve. May be he should visit MRF pace foundation and fine tune his skills.

  12. “IOB talks a lot but no effort on the field. If he put half the effort in bowling , he will be better bowler.”

    “No effort”??? What utter bollocks. That is the very last criticism anyone could level at him. Listen to the commentators, ex Kiwi cricketers – they ALL say his work rate cannot be faulted.

    Nice about Mills & Oram too. Really constructive…..
    .-= SarahCanterbury´s last blog ..Shivnarine Chanderpaul =-.

  13. alex says:

    It is a fact. Oram last played well is against aussies like few years ago. That is the first time as well. his production in IPL chennai superkings is zilch.

    He got a big body …but not using that well. May be it is his mind is the problem. He is tentative too much in anything he does.

    IOB may be putting lot of physical effort that is probably what commentator seeing. But i think he needs to improve mentally and out think the batsman by bowling in between length. Key is deliver the ball last minute..Mcgrath was so great because he changes the length last minute and make it awkward for batsman to hit the ball. If batsman can guess the length they make mince meat of IOB. That is the one area if he can improve , he could be economical bowler.

    One think i like about IOB is he wants to improve. It is just that not happening as fast i like. Hahaha. Vettori the Mr. New Zealand Cricket like him. So his spot is safe as of now.

  14. alex says:

    Ok i have another gripe about Franklin. EVery time i hear New Zealand commentator say frankling going to do this , do that …i was excited to see some Big hitting. They say he scored big in New Zealand domestic…so i thought he play well.

    I have not seen him bat well at all. His bowling is more of kulasekara type. Just not good enough for either test or odi.

    I know i know , may be New Zealand should get loan from other countries like half of engalnd team is south africans.

    Or make 11 clones of Vettori. Hahaha.

  15. Martin says:

    Top order batting has always been a problem even the halcyon days of the 80s. At the moment it is just pants, full of blokes who would struggle to get a game for Northants – or Surrey. Jesse to come back but talk about a career that is going to end in tears. At least we got the usual 2nd innings collapse in early doors this time, it can’t be that bad in the second dig – can it?

    They are a hard bunch to love but love them we do.

  16. a fan says:

    Alex I do not agree with you at all. Enough has been said about IOB by other posters, but your comments on McGrath are unbelievable. One of the main things that made McGrath such a great bowler is that he bowled the same length almost every time. And guess why – because it was a GOOD length. Combined with a tight line and an upright seam, the beauty of McGrath is that he didn’t need to try many things or react too much to the batsman. Just bowling in good areas was enough, the difficult part for most bowlers is actually being able to be that consistent.

    I let your comments on Mills go because we were talking about tests, but Kulasekara not good enough for either tests or ODI? He is currently the 4th ranked ODI bowler in the world (Mills is 5th).

  17. alex says:

    Ok may be i am not clear. Lets call it Optimum length – A length and line that makes batsman hit the ball from his unbalanced position. On the offstump but not reachable to batsman even if he moves forward and chest height that cramp the batsman.

    Mcgrath always cramp sachin to make a mistake. You can only able to do you bowl after batsman make a move. Just reading batsman in advance. You need big palm to adjust the length at last second.

  18. alex says:

    Oh well Obrien retired from cricket!.

  19. No, from international cricket. You didn’t get that right either!

    Lovely tributes paid to him by Vettori & Justin Vaughan. Very appropriate.
    .-= SarahCanterbury´s last blog ..Iain O’Brien delivery stride =-.

  20. Siddharth says:

    New Zealand should retain the following players:

    Guptill, Brendon McCullum, Taylor, Vettori, Shane Bond, James Franklin, Ian OBrien, Tim Southee.

    So, we have 8 players.

    Three good batsman; Guptill, McCullum, Taylor (McCullum is the wicketkeeper)

    Two good allrounders; Vettori and James Franklin.

    Three good bowlers; Bond, Southee, and OBrien.

    As you can see they have good players.

    So, MOST IMPORTANT is they require good coach and good mental psychologist.

  21. i love bowling and i think everyoneelse should too!
    .-= become a better bowler´s last blog ..How Become a Better bowler! =-.