I tried to make sense out of the Mark Ramprakash shit, this is the best I could do. It doesn’t make much sense, I just sort of had notes, and couldn’t work out what to do, so this is a post, of sorts:
The Bryce McGain story was a lovely fairytale with a bloody massacre at the end.
The reason there was a story in the first place is because Australian spin had become a faeces ridden quagmire.
There was nothing left.
Brad Hogg left before he was kicked out, Lord Stuey couldn’t walk, Beau Casson was as shit as I said he was, Nathan Hauritz was playing club cricket, the Cullens were a non event, and Hampshire’s Shane Warne was playing poker.
That is the sort of shitness that needs to occur for someone like Bryce McGain to get selected.
As bad as England’s batting was at Headingley, it could never be as bad as Australia’s spin dilemma.
There is not an English batsman as bad as Cameron White’s legspin in this series.
Australia picked McGain because there were no other options, England does not have that problem.
Picking ramps is funny, but not that funny.
They have Trott, Key, or they can stay with the young players they have been developing.
There are other options, ones that won’t make them look like they are panicking.
It is only being suggested to make Andy Caddick mad.
Making changes to the side is fine, picking 39 year olds because of one shit test is insane.
Whose middle-aged crisis is this, Ramp’s or England’s?
Picking Mark Ramprakash now is like saying we have known he has always been the best, but we haven’t picked him anyway.
If Geoff Miller picks Mark Ramprakash now, he should be fired.
If it is the right decision for this test, then Ramps should have been playing for the last three years and that is Geoff’s fault.
If it is the wrong decision, then he is panicking and has no idea what he is doing.
Getting the women and gay dudes on side is important, but surely that will take more than a cameo test.
And why is this a must win test?
That shits me.
All tests are fucken must win tests.
There are no maybe win tests.