Mark Ramprakash has been selected for the Oval Test

Oh, you don’t believe me?

Well I have proof; this is what Geoff Miller said:

“I’m not ruling anybody out,”


You fool, you mad mad loopy fool.

Can’t you see it?

Come on dude, think about it.

Ramps is anybody.

He is the embodiment of someone who isn’t named.

The unnamed batsman if you will.

Geoff Miller can’t say Ramprakash is in, that would cause mass panic.

Women would be buying special cricket-themed throwing panties.

Men would be learning how to dance.

And old cricket writers would have heart attacks.

Miller needs to ease us in.

So he starts off by saying he won’t rule “anybody” out after being asked if Ramprakash will play.


It all makes sense.

Mark Ramprakash will be playing for England.

It is also worth nothing that Robert Croft, John Crawley and Ronnie Irani were also not ruled out.

Think about it….

Tagged , ,

0 thoughts on “Mark Ramprakash has been selected for the Oval Test

  1. Visesh says:

    Hahahahahaha this is too funny. What about Kabir Ali

  2. Moses says:

    But he’s not even South African? They’ll be down to two Saffas, and at a time when ruthlessness is at an all time low

  3. poopsie says:

    Caddick would get more wickets than Broad and Flintoff combined if selected

  4. Jay says:

    Hid dad was foreign, so he has that going for him.

  5. Rob says:

    WHAT! I thought he meant me.

  6. druckb says:

    Bring back Ian Austin. And Mark Ealham.

  7. Dhananjay Mhatre says:

    Forget all of them, pick Eyelid.

  8. matt says:

    Fuck that, lets pick Tavare as a shock bowler

  9. Gigi says:

    The choice is perfectly obvious: Gemma Broad. She’s performing the most intricate act of subterfuge to get called up, sleeping with members of the press in order to conceal her vicious sexual assaults on England’s only world class members of the team. She seduced KP into a marathon of lovemaking, then got him into one of those submission holds you see on WWE. Achilles, gone. Same with Flintoff’s knee, he’s the right height as soon as you’ve finished the 69, get into the lock, tap into submission. She doesn’t bother with those out of form like Ravi Bops and Cook, and she doesn’t bother with Ian Bell as he wouldn’t touch sides, but her plan is almost complete. Her brother is now known as the greatest batsman in the land, time to make her move. Expect Geoff Miller to announce it on Friday. With a slight limp.

  10. Mel says:

    Any chance of getting Gemma into the Aussie dressing room to perform similar ‘acts of subterfuge’ on Ponting, Clarke and North?

  11. murtagh says:

    looks like ramprakash is being considered ‘seriously’ now:

    wouldn’t be a bad selection, actually. ramps and trott in for bell and collingwood, and replace bopara with owais shah (down the order, not at #3) or pietersen, once he’s fit.

  12. Sid says:

    whatever happened to Rob Key ?? Poor, Andy caddick will be kicking himself for announcing his retirement… if only he had seen 2 days of the 4th test..

  13. Gigi says:

    The move is the Sharpshooter by Brett Hart…