Dear Haydos

Dear Matthew Hayden,

Thank you for giving up your precious family time to come over here and earn a shedload of money at the British licence fee payers’ expense.

Thank you for your continual winding up of Geoff Boycott, it makes us feel good to know that it is not only us who think he is an insufferably self important twat.

Thank you for your insights into the game we love. Your story about being in the middle with JL and hearing your daughter scream in the stands because she had fallen over was genuinely moving.

But if you are going to pontificate all over the airwaves, at least learn the freaking laws of cricket. The reason that Hawkeye can predict the flight of a ball after it has made contact with a batsman’s leg is that the law says that an umpire should assume that the ball will continue in a straight line from the point of impact. So whether a ball is swinging, or rising, or dipping, doesn’t matter. If the ball is moving left to right, Hawkeye draws a line of the flight that the ball would’ve taken, irrespective of the chances of it swinging a bit more, dropping like a stone, or being pushed off course by a particularly strong bee. It does this because the umpire performs the same mental exercise. If it looks out to the umpire and it looks out to Hawkeye, the fact that you don’t think it was out is (a) irrelevant and (b) the minority view anyway. So shut up whinging about the technology and get back to what you do best – Boycott baiting.

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0 thoughts on “Dear Haydos

  1. Lou says:

    And another thing, Matt the Bat, please stop referring to yourself as a ‘product’ when you bang on about modern cricket/IPL. I wouldn’t mind it if it was part of some elaborate Boycott tease, but I know it isn’t.. It smacks of corporate true believerhood.

  2. Dave says:

    I’m not sure Hayden ever believes batsmen can be out LBW.

  3. anonym says:

    Keep it up, Haydos,

    jrod, of all the crap artist ex-cricketer commentators to pick on – why him? Warne made some similar comments over on Sky. THe whole Sky team could give Greig and co. a run for most asinine, biased commentating. But none are half as a bad as that asshole Lloyd

    and it’s “whingeing”!

  4. Jonathan says:

    This isn’t jrod, is it?

    Anyway, if the law did say to consider the straight line, then Hawkeye would be in trouble. As it is, it just says that the path continues – almost as though it were written for Hawkeye, which it probably was.

  5. Aura Australis says:

    How many posts is that 4? Up your game skivvy, you are not funny nor do you bring any insight or points of interest worth reading. You need to find your own unique voice. Make it funny, controversial or interesting but not fucking boring.

    If I want to read shit about Haydos I’ll visit King Cricket.

  6. Lou says:

    When will Warne shut up? He never shuts up. He isn’t on radio. Someone hit him please.

  7. superzaco says:

    Let me firstly state for the record that I have never, ever, liked hayden. sanctimonious, god bothering wanker, and more than a little of the flat track bully in him. never really stood up under extreme pressure when the team really needed it (not that there were too many opportunities, mind).

    So, with that in mind, anyone who can annoy boycott enough for him to throw his toys out of the cot and storm out of the box deserves a round of applause. or a golf clap at least. just as long as he didn’t cross himself and dedicate to the Lord.

    • jrod says:

      Anonym, wasn’t me, was the skiver. I don’t really listen to TMS. Although i like the idea of a hayden/boycott fight. Hayden throwing haymakers and Boycott just ducking and weaving, taking the odd body shot, and trying to waer the big fella down.