Ben tries to piss off Rugby League fans and win one of three signed copies of my book with this effort, can you do better, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org, with your 200 words or less on how cricket with balls is ruining cricket.
G’day kiddies! Your intrepid bloggers, Kiki + Sassy, are here with the latest on the cricket. We are quite breathless (well not literally, because we are calmly sitting down typing this, duh) that our Uncle JRod, who we hearted Big time when we were in London on one of our junkets, has just killed Modi and become Supreme Commander of World Cricket, and now busy bringing in a whole bunch of ideas to make cricket even more exciting.
We thought that parking ourselves on the lounge for five days straight couldn’t get any better, but he is going to model the batting around his hero, Sehwag. Yep! That means no more running between wickets, all scoring will be in fours and sixes, and you get a ten if you break a window! Every five overs there will be a KFC break and, to improve the bodycount, bowling beamers is now not only legal, but encouraged. The best part is the uniforms will be replaced with pirate costumes, everyone will have to grow beards and bowlers can only appeal to the umpire with a shout of ‘Yaaaarghhh!?!!’ It’s genius. Just like Errol in ‘Captain Blood’ *eyes glaze over for a second*