Hayden tries ard to be a pain in the bum

“he’ll always be trying his best, that’s Matthew”

Kellie Hayden (Mrs Hayden, Wife of Matthew)

The first thing i noticed about this was the way she tried to humanise him, i took me 8 seconds to realise Matthew was Hayden.

I am glad he is trying hard, i know i would if i played for Australia, I would try harder than anyone before me, but i’d still be shit, not Nathan Hauritz or Beau Casson shit, but shit nonetheless.

Mrs Hayden no doubt loves her Matthew, but the rest of the cricket world have some issues with the orphan eating bear like fuckhead.

He has been a pompous redneck clown most of his career, and this is payback.

Luckily the Haydens aren’t reading this.

“We haven’t been reading a lot of what has been written,”

So i know she sure as hell isn’t going to start by reading this blog.

There is actually good news about Matthew’s non retirement or vicious sacking.

Neil is back.

“He is a pain in the bum.”

He says of Hayden.

“I thought he was pathetic today”

On his first day knock.

“He wasn’t trying to score runs and he had forgotten how to hit the ball, and at his age he is not going to get any better, is he?”

On the cruel nature of age.

Neil was obviously back in the media after the success of The Neils.

We have missed you Neil, as you know, cricket was better in your day.

One day we hope to be called pathetic and a bum by Neil Harvey….

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0 thoughts on “Hayden tries ard to be a pain in the bum

  1. Leela says:

    From what I gather, Mrs. Hayden needs to send a Thank You card to umpire Asoka De Silva.

  2. Moses @ Beer and Sport says:

    What does trying hard equate to as a percentage? Considering Bollinger is giving 150,000% and hasn’t got a wicket you’d hope it’s at least that, if not more.Lets just hope Hayden goes out and hits a quite ton today, sets up the win, then at least in his mind he can retire on “his terms”

  3. Anonymous says:

    Hayden is a girly name, dats y they call him matthew

  4. Mentalist says:

    “…orphan eating bear like fuckhead…”Suave is that you.Fuck me this poor cnt has had this sort of crap thrown at him since day one and 100 tests later with an ave of 50 and 30 odd tons later, he has earnt the right to write a cookbook or two or have a slump or three. Remember the post 2005 Ashes run of tons or the 07 world cup?http://stats.cricinfo.com/india/content/records/227046.htmlLEAVE MATTIE ALONE!

  5. Jrod says:

    Mentalist, the jokes on you, my mum has no eyelids.

  6. Mentalist says:

    I know, that and the lack of teeth are what I find so attractive. [ok simmer down I’m only joking, Suave’s mum on the other hand, eewww].

  7. Suave says:

    Good day Mentalist.That phrase did emerge from my sick and twisted brain!Unfortunately, the joke’s on you again sausage.My auld ma died delivering me into this world, lucky for me, not so much her!