Tagged with umar gul

balls profile: Umar Gul

Perhaps the longest face of any bowler in world cricket.  Gul is known for his yorkers in T20 cricket, his wides in ODI cricket and his general blandness in test cricket.  Little is known about Gul, mostly because he has never had genital warts or carried drugs through an airport.  Would probably be more respected if he had proper Pakistani fast bowling hair.  It’s important if you are not Pakistani to pronounce it Gull, as in Seagull, as it shows a certain respect to your Pakistani friends.  Is the only man to master reverse swing in T20 cricket which must mean he has some of the greatest ball tampering skills in history.  Respect.

 

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South Africa legitimise Twenty20

If you want proof that Twenty20 is a proper form of cricket, look no further than South Africa choking.

If the form of cricket was all piss and giggles, South Africa would have crushed it like a big.

They didn’t.

While the talent of Afridi and Gul was the over riding factor in the victory, no one should down play the part that South Africa’s choke put in.

The innings of Jacques Kallis was positively awe inspiring, while other batsmen would have looked at the situation and said, “I know I am the Anchor here, but I see that the other batsman is struggling and the game is getting away from me, I better do something here”. Jacques seemed to say, if I play my cards right there is a not out in this for me.

JP Duminy was almost as bad. When you are batting with a cadaverous batsman and you have Albie and Boucher behind you, surely you have to step it up a bit. Sure JP tried, but he just didn’t try hard enough, There were so many times he should have just hit out or got out.

This was a partnership made in T20 hell.

And once Kallis went out, Albie got to face 4 balls.

That was it.

South Africa were out.

Graeme Smith said they were just beaten by a better team, and he was right.

A team that handled the pressure, performed at a much higher level, had match winners, didn’t have a innings paralysing partnership and didn’t choke.

This is one of the days that people love T20.

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They choked again

Cricket’s version of David Carradine has done it again, the saffas have choked.

Cough, cough, choke.

Afridi put the noose on, then he tightened it.

Umar Gul squeezed then to within an inch of death.

Jacques Kallis sat in the corner watching the whole thing.

And Mohammad Aamer locked the wardrobe door.

Why does a South African choke feel like your team has just won?

5 wins on the trot.

The Evil Robotic white ball players looked indestructible, but none of us really believed it, did we?

Why?

Because they choke.

They always choke.

Every world cup/thingy they choke.

And what better a man than Shahid Afridi to do the choking.

Can’t you just see him clad in leather from head to toe, whipping a ball gagged South African in a gimp mask that he’s already strung up before him.

What am I saying, if you saw the match that is exactly what you saw.

Because South Africa choked again.

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Pakistani beef market

Somehow cricket in Pakistan has continued even without Shoaib Ahktar.

Their other Shoaib, the logical, sane and less talented one, is still their captain.

But a week is a long time in Cricket.

In Pakistani cricket a week is several life times.

Since Shoaib Malik’s showing at the 2020 world whatever it was, his team has struggled.

A look at the current line up against Bangladesh gives you an idea why.

Salman Butt averages about 30 in both forms of the game, and so far has done nothing other than have a cool name.

Nasir Jamshed is not somewhere you keep jars, but is actually a young cricketer who is yet to confirm his place in the side, and yet to make a big splash in general.

Younis Khan is the Pakistani version of Elvis, except that he isn’t as sexy, cool, or talented (ummm) as him.

Mohammad Yousuf is a top class international player, probably the only one in the side, he is also a scientologist.

Shoaib Malik is the youngest looking 26 year old Pakistan has ever had. He may actually be the age he claims to be. Will be a very handy cricketer, but right now is just a cricketer.

Misbah Ul Haq has the same surname as Inzy and a lovely cricket backside. He can bat, but probably won’t be around for long.

Shahid Afridi is Shaihid Afridi.

Kamran Akmal is a male model, who dabbles in wicketkeeping. Used to be a sh1t hot batsmen. Now is not.

Umar Gul is a player who is destined to be called Sea. The boy can bowl, but is never going to be an out and out match winner.

Sohail Tanvir is a quick who can also bowl spin. So far I am yet to see him bowl either particularly well, but could be a handy one day option.

Iftikhar Anjum is Rao Iftikhar, true story.

Not a lot of high priced cattle for Malik to play with there.

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