I can understand, it’s always big news when a batsmen is upset at being run out and tells people.

But twitter has so much more to give.  There are so many stories out there that deserve hours of press coverage, people looking over them with a fine tooth comb.

These are tweets from the last few days that should be made into stories.

Scott Styris marathon sex innings (tweeted by @NickyStyris)

@ well my man weighs 170lbs and our sessions last longer than an hour so what are you talking about?

David Warner and Brett Geeves cock scandal (tweeted by @Davidwarner31)

@brettygeevs don’t know what kids would b following u but remember what u said to hughy that’s right, lucky u were not playing, cock

Shield cricketers weaken Australian cricket with stupid tweets (@cphilipson27)

@13dsmith extra time migaloo

Stuart Broad loves shit films (tweeted by @stuartbroad8)

Just watched RocknRolla. Love that film. What happened to the sequel?! They even promise it at the end.

Flintoff’s sexual relationship with Ravi (tweeted by @flintoff11)

life isn’t the same without him ! By Ravi we love you http://yfrog.com/gy67cslj

What a weekend we had together nobody can take away the memories !http://yfrog.com/gz4omfj

Who will I watch dvd’s with now ! I miss you Ravi http://yfrog.com/gye24ej

The last Ravi picture and my favourite , sweet dreams little fella , missing you already ! http://yfrog.com/h4s0fej

I need you to imagine you’re a fading international cricketer.  Internationally you never really made it.  You have some fans, but in the end you couldn’t cut it at the top of the game.

You had your moments though, and you aren’t some no one cricketer. People know your name and cricket fans would notice you in a pub.

The body is giving up, and other than T20 games, cricket might be passing you by.

You’ve even started commentating when you are county or IPLing, and you like it.

People say you have a flair for it, but deep down you know you aren’t quite good enough to be an automatic commentator when the next generation of English players come into the box.

In the short term, you just need a reason to keep your name in the limelight.

You’ve only just entered twitter, and you only have a few followers, mostly because a more famous mate tweeted your name.

You can’t keep relying on that, so you need to get your own press.

Being that you are no where near being selected, and your age combined with the new selection policy means that you might never be again, why not stir up a bit of controversy.

Knowing that there is an international side in the news every 28 seconds, and the biggest drawcard in the national team is fresh off a media storm, you know that by creating some shit you’ll get some news, without 100% nasty overage because others are busy.

So after a few drinks on a saturday night you type into twitter a dig at the chairman of selectors, calling him a prick. Deep down you know that he is not the most liked person in cricket, and that even if people think you are a dick for tweeting something, they won’t mind that you called him a prick.

You then go to bed and expect to wake up to some shit about how you over stepped the mark.

When you wake up you realise that your tweet has garnered very little attention, people didn’t even know which chairman of selectors you were abusing.

You then name him, and call him a prick and a knob, and you do it at a time when many of your followers are on Twitter.

Once you see a few people retweet it, and a bigger reaction, you delete both tweets and wait for the outrage and free press.

And it isn’t just the first storm that you get free press, you’ll get more later when someone else does a twitter fuck up.

Would you do it?

I’m not saying Dimi Mascarenhas actually did all this, but why wouldn’t he?

KP obviously was sending a private message (and he isn’t the only cricketer to put one public), Azeem Rafiq is a hot headed kid, Tim Bresnan was reacting to being called fat and Phil Hughes’ agent’s computer guy made a mistake.

Dimi’s situation is much different. He tweeted on two separate occasions.  His first tweet was vague, his second was on the money. Dimi is not an idiot, whether commentating or captaining, he shows some brains, so why shouldn’t we speculate that his tweets were not mere angry responses to Mr Miller’s rudeness.

£1,000 is not too much to pay for all the press he has received, and any suspension would mean very little considering he has only played one game for Hampshire for the entire year.

Now look at one line of his apology.

“This was a silly, late-night conversation that got out of control and doesn’t reflect my true views on Mr. Miller.”

The second tweet was put up at around 11 am on sunday morning.  That is one hell of silly late nighter.

I’m not saying Dimi did this on purpose, only he will know that.

I’m saying that if he did he is a fucken evil genius, and if he didn’t I still think this all worked out for the best.

In the future I think we will see a few strategic twitter “foul-mouthed rants”.

I hope.

He is the moral compass of the world, and without him we would be nothing but angry animals flinging faeces at each other.

This is how twitter used to be, not now, because by clicking @sachin_rt you can be saved by the man himself.

So far Sachin’s twitter form has been patchy.

This photo is clearly the highlight.

News of Sachin has spread fast, he is gaining new followers at the rate of 1000 every second, or more, it was changing so fast I couldn’t do the numbers.

And people can’t wait to talk to their man:

“u rock man… just want to get ur dedication level.. we can’t even think of indian cricket without u !!!”

“@cubicile_blues: Twitter does not need to verify @sachin_rt. @sachin_rt has just verified that this is the real Twitter”

“the peoples following rate is amazing and count increases each and every sec. Ur the God and u prove it Sachin!! Lov u!!!”

“If nothing else, @sachin_rt brought many zombie tweeter users to life.”

“@Sidin: Dear @sachin_rt, is it true you once said Sreesanth is the best bowler you’ve ever faced? Thanks.”

“Finally the God of Cricket is on Twitter…..”

“The only record left for him 2 break is max number of followers:-)”

“IT IS A GR8 DAY.. THE GOD OF CRICKET ON TWITTER ..NW U WL B MORE CLOSE TO US THE COMMON PPL OF INDIA WHO LOOK AT YOU AS A GR8 MAN”

“Please @sachin_rt quit twitter. I dont want you to follow @LalitKModi”.

People are already hoping that Sachin gets more followers than Ashton Kutcher, but I think that would be mean. Kutcher is the Charles Coventry of Hollywood, at least leave him with something, Sachin, well something other than Demi Moore.

If you feel the need to stalk players on twitter here is a list I created earlier. Or you can stalk me.

So I made a list of cricketers who tweet.

There is only 23 so far.

If anyone of you have any more, please make sure they are real, send them through to me.

There is also a list of cricket writers.

The name was familiar, but I didn’t know who she was, what she did, why I knew her name, or what she looked like naked and green.

I knew of Tim Bresnan before he started tweeting, but I knew little of him, the average English cricket fan probably knew nothing of him.

Then he calls a bloke a KNOB, some groundbreaking website breaks the story, it ends up all over the news, he gets in trouble with Andy Flower, then he comes in because Stuart Broad has a sore bum.

He suddenly has a profile.

Not a great profile, but people suddenly start watching what he is doing.

Before hand he wasn’t doing much, so there wasn’t much to watch.

But now he is in the headlines (barely) and people know a little more about his swearing habits and a penchant for mother jokes this was the most important game of his career.

He could have fucked it up.

The excuses where there, Bumble and Bhogle couldn’t stop mentioning twitter, England were mid-collapse and this was a semi final of a semi-important tournament.

Instead the big fella* stood up.

While Shane Watson came at him hard, Tim was good.

From there on in he and Wright put together an innings saving partnership.  It wasn’t enough, but his top order didn’t deserve to be saved.

The innings was streaky at times and just damn lucky at others, but a top effort.

Making 80 batting at 8 in a one dayer is a good enough for me any time, but with all the shit going on his head, the papers, from the team management, the commentary box, and on twitter, I think the fella deserves some credit.

Top cricket, U KNOB.

Let us hope for your sake that you go on to do better than the cricket equivalent of House of Wax.

*By big fella I am not referring to Tim’s frame, but his presence.

So if you want to catch up with my clayton’s commentary come to twitter.

I’ll try not to call any of you KNOBs.

Bloke photo shops him looking like Jonah Hill, and Tim says fuck and calls him a KNOB.

Fair enough.

Probably not the sort of behaviour the ECB wants from their cricketers, but it was no worse than what an English cricketer said next to a camera at the end of the win against South Africa.

Swearing on TV is bad, but can be quickly forgotten, and doesn’t even always need an apology.

How many times have we seen a cricketer play and miss and then heard a muffled, “fuck”, from stump cam.

Some of us can lip read too, not every word, but I am pretty sure Freddie and Siddle broke some sort of records for how many times the word fuck was used in one spell this year.

I am not sure that putting knob and fuck in even constitutes a expletive-laden rant.

I found this on twitter:

“Stop fucking yelling into your shitty phone you dumb fucken asshole. People can fucken hear you if you talk normally you wanker.”

That is laden.

Before I broke the exclusive (apparently that doesn’t get you a new car or a latte maker) I wondered if I was doing the right thing.

By airing the story you mean that future cricketers on twitter will be on a short leash, if at all, and that is less fun.

But then I thought it was funny, and funny trumps all.

I would like to say I am angry at the Daily Mail though, not because I wasn’t given proper credit for breaking this all important story, but for **** the word knob.

Remember when the Times featured my site, but wrote bastards as b*******.

**** Must stop.

Before that I hardly watched the game.

It was boring, and neither team was trying that hard.

Then the game got hot. Very hot.

Australia have done well to get this down to run a ball. #cricket Naved has gone at least 12 balls without a run off him.19 minutes ago from Tweetie

@iainobrien Doosras from Ajmal and unplayable everythings from Naved, Gul isn’t needed yet.18 minutes ago from Tweetie in reply to iainobrien

Lee comes down the wicket to Ajmal, obviously picked the doosra. Fucken hell. #cricket18 minutes ago from Tweetie

Great over for Australia, 10 off 12 needed now. Nathan will finish this up in 2 hits… #cricket16 minutes ago from Tweetie

Lee sends a text to Ajmal telling him he is coming down the wicket, lucky very lucky. #cricket16 minutes ago from Tweetie

Easy does it. #NATHANHAURITZISGOD14 minutes ago from Tweetie

No leg slip? #cricket12 minutes ago from Tweetie

Naved gets smashed that over, 6 off it. #cricket11 minutes ago from Tweetie

Gul is brought on. All he needs to do is pretend he is playing Kiwis and India are through. #cricket9 minutes ago from Tweetie

Good clip off the pads, but straight to midwicket. #cricket8 minutes ago from Tweetie

Umar finds the yorker. With reverse. Lee finds a single behind his back. #cricket8 minutes ago from Tweetie

Hauritz gets a good length, but can only bunt it back to Gul. 3 from 3. Reverse paddle? #cricket7 minutes ago from Tweetie

Hauritz almost gets it through midwicket, but Misbah throws his zimmer frame and saves it. #cricket 2 from 2 6 minutes ago from Tweetie

They only need one run my ass Pollock, we don’t do ties. Oh. #cricket5 minutes ago from Tweetie

Lee Smashes that to mid on, great fielding keeps it to one. Lee knows that is enough. But is it? Probably. #cricket4 minutes ago from Tweetie

Australia win the game with a bye. They smashed that bye. #cricket #hauritzisgod3 minutes ago from Tweetie

That was the Cardiff test of ODIs, boring as batshit for so long, and then, wait on, this is awesome. Oh shit… #cricket2 minutes ago from Tweetie

I need a piss. #cricketless than 5 seconds ago from Tweetie

Have now added the image as a major English newspaper is going to show it tomorrow. But you must admit, that while making a photo of someone being fat and then sending it to them is stupid, the photo shop skills are there to see.

Recently Tim Bresnan started tweeting.

Realising that I know very little about the guy other than the fact he doesn’t tuck his shirt in when he comes in to bowl I decided to follow.

Mostly his tweets are part of a three way conversation with Swanny and Jimmy.

When I say conversation I mean a three way sniping session at each other.

I don’t follow Jimmy, but Swanny can’t go a tweet without bagging Bresnan’s curvy nature, poor Samit Patel.

Bresnan calls Swann and Jimmy the dipshit brothers, and referred to buying a joke book or personality for Jimmy.

It is just three mates taking the piss.

Then people started putting photoshop photos of Tim up.

His favourite was one by Mel who comments here. Tim loved it.

Another one drew this comment:

“@DarranGoulder don’t mind my mates dishing it out but who the fuck are you.Crawl out off your mums basement U KNOB”

The photo in question was one of Tim Bresnan as a slightly larger than life character. It was excellent photoshop work, but Tim probably wasn’t expecting someone to send him a photo of him as a digitally altered fatty.

What I liked about the whole episode was the rage Bresnan showed.

There was no Phil Hughes’ manager and IT worker tweeting, this was Tim being pissed off.

The problem with opening yourself up to this public conversation is that if your mates call you fat, your twitter followers are going to do the same and there is a chance that people will question your overall fitness.

Sure it was an over the line photo, but when you see Swanny tweet after tweet say that Bresnan is fat, you get the feeling that he can handle it.

I’d suggest by the fact the tweet finished with a capitalisation of U KNOB, he can’t. Which is fair enough, but he has opened this up, not Darran Goulder who has too much time on his hands and a better than average grasp of photo shop.

Will be interesting to see if the three are allowed to continue their banter* by the ECB especially if they react badly to criticism of their performance.

Having dealt with the ECB I’d say they frown on the phrase U KNOB, capitalised or not.

*By banter I mean Swanny calling Bresnan a fat cunt, saying he eats a 100 sausages or a whole cake, and that he gets violent when the donuts are all gone.