Played such a good first game that he was offered a part in a Peter Jackson film. He is now up on charges of theft by deception. After the ball stops swinging all you are left with is those magnificent teeth. Is currently a better batsman than Chris Martin. NZC have still not decided if Tim is the prodigal son or the black sheep. Others don’t care.
cricket with balls
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Tagged with tim southee …
Touthee gets religous education
Dan took the ballsy decision in bowling first.
If you have to win a game, bowling first is always on your mind.
Dan made the choice, and then watched Martin and Touthee get a lesson.
It wasn’t Sehwag at his muderesness best, he was almost reserved at times, but he still scored at almost run a ball for 48.
Take him out of the equation, and New Zealand were on top.
It was Sehwag’s wicket that changed the momentum.
Iain O’Blogger and Franklin came on and took both openers, and didn’t bowl anywhere as near trash as that were bowled in the first hour.
Had the first hour been a normal test match hour, not a Sehwag hour, New Zealand bowling first probably would have worked.
But that is the risk you take when you bowl first when Sehwag is out there.
That is the risk you take when you bowl to Sehwag, at any time.
Touthee got special treatment, Sehwag treated him like a naughty school boy, it’s the sort of treatment that will ruin Touthee for decades to come.
Good first session all in all, but New Zealand would be ecstatic at this green pitch they got.
Trev Barry wash up
Sorry about the pun.
I don’t usually wrap up one day series, and I wont do this one.
I will say sucks to be you New Zealand, 2 zip up, work their way back to 2 all, and then rain fucks up their finish.
That must smart.
This has been an interesting time for the players though, there has been some fresh faces, some character arcs, and forced rests.
Martin Guptil may have a stupid name (it’s not funny or cool to say, yet still odd enough to mention) but he showed on debut he can bat, well last night he showed he can smack, slap, and carry his team. The rest of the series he struggled a bit, but there is class and dash in him.
Callum Ferguson jumped the queue by finding form at the exact right time, and then kept his spot by getting some of the best luck of any debutante ever. Hard to say whether he made more runs, or got more dodgy LB decisions, but once he was let go at the Gabba, he was a force of furious destruction.
Ben Hilfenhaus has been talked up for a long time, but when he finally gets in he is very up and down. His good is unplayable, his bad is anal fodder, and no one is any surer about him now than they were before.
Tim Southee came into the series with a decent effort against Australia in the test series behind him, but in the one dayers he has been easier to score from than Tara Reid. He also has only 3 wickets in the series, and without the new ball he looks like a change bowler.
Brad Haddin took his chance at the top of the order, the one that most people thought he would have had by now. He really isn’t, and has never been, a good middle or lower middle order white ball batsman. At the top of the order he took over, and Warner might have to wait a while for a recall now.
Iain O’Brien needs a swab. In England he was a medium slow bowler who filled up an end. Now he is almost genuinely quick, and he took 10 wickets in this series, the Australian’s seemed to score off him easily, but if he can keep taking 2 wickets a match the kiwis will keep him around.
James Hopes has gone from a bits and pieces all rounder to the man Ponting throws the ball to during a drama. He has also batted in the top order, and his forehead is still awesome.
The greatest story has to be Grant Elliott, who has managed to turn himself from Jacob Oram’s hamstring replacement, into an international all rounder. No one is sure how, but he has.
One day you might say, “as kiwi as Grant Elliott”.
Monty leads the day, Southee is the shizzle
Logically on the day England win their first test series is 3 years (that’s not true, is it) I should be talking about Monty Panesar and his 6 wickets for 344 runs.
But Monty has burned me before.
When he was first picked I was assured he was humorous in the field, and while he is chuckle worthy, he is no Tufnell.
Then I was told he just plainly couldn’t bat. He’s no Brett Lee but he makes Chris Martin look like a proper number 11.
Also I was told he could bowl, so far, his career average is 32, it’s not horrible, but its not Portmanesque either.
I’m going to talk about Timothy Grant Southee, who might be more exciting than this entire series put together.
A 5 wicket haul in the first dig, a 77* of 40 in his last at bat.
Not bad for a kid who is practically a foetus.
He is only a hundred days younger than Ishant Sharma, but Sharma, while looking good in his first few tests did not have the impact of Southee from the get go.
Sharma’s first five wicket haul was his second test where he slapped around a shoddy Pakistani tail.
Southee destroyed English’s top order first time at the crease.
Plus Southee does not have an alien growing out of his throat.
Take that Ishant.
Ofcourse Ishant got out Ponting alot, which is worth 83 English wickets.
A five wicket haul and a 70 gets you seven figures in India, Sir Ian Botham comparisons in England, and in Australia he wouldn’t be playing because he is a bowler and under 25.
Where to now for this youngster?
Will he become the cricketer that drags New Zealand back into real test playing status.
Or will he make a lot of dollars when he retires from the national side for personal reasons to play in the ICL.
Or will he become a statistical footnote in the slow decline of modern culture.
Exactly.
Tim Southee nude, naked, oiled up, hotter than an albino in the desert…
Tim Southee is 19, has probably shaved once, has only a scattering of pubes, has probably only had sex with his hard drive, and it’s already started.
What has started Uncle J rod?
The cricket slags.
So far my site has already had Tim Southee girlfriend, Tim Southee naked, Tim Southee nude, and Tim Southee is a terribly hot piece of booty. 
Ok not that last one, but the rest really truly happened.
Being a good boy, I have never used the internet as a search engine for sex, I’m sure none of you my loyal and moral readers have either.
But some people do.
Dirty filthy perverts that they are.
But that’s ok, as the aliens allow pornography, so it must be here to serve a higher purpose.
Tim Southee how ever is not pornography, he is a young cricketer with potential and should not be used as a pornographic whipping boy of horny teenage girls and frustrated gay men.
Instead these girls should be offering themselves to him, because if they want to see him nude, there should be a contra deal in place.
A third of all my hits are from people typing in a variant of Shane Watson/Jimmy Anderson/Stuart Broad/Kamran Akmal/Alistair Cook/Scott Styris/Nathan Bracken nude naked, lubed up, hot to trot, girlfriend, wife, weird sex photos, penis.
Obviously I am not the only blogger over run with women and men who want to sleep with cricketers.
Poor Ayalac tried to help the slags with some pictures.
Poorer Suave has all but lost the ability to understand why women want to see someone who wears eye liner naked, but he found nice photos too.
Someone even typed in Ricky Ponting sexual object.
What is this madness.
My Shane Watson nude blog, which has a beautiful picture of William Shatner with a dog (happy b’day for yesterday to big fella) has had 286 hits.
Cricket slags I understand the urge to type in Kamran Akmal naked, but please, try and resist, cricketers are people too, as are some cricket bloggers.
Who is Tim Southee?
Is he a man with forefathers who liked vowels?
Is he the Richard Hadlee who is not a ©unt we have all been waiting for?
Is he ready to break down a lot and leave for India like only a true New Zealander can?
Or is he the Danny Morrison clone we have all been hoping never comes back?
I don’t know, and until he takes wickets, I probably don’t care.
But young bowlers are exciting, even the New Zealander ones.
He was recently named the best under 19 cricketer in the world, or thereabouts.
His credentials involve one 2020 game, and yet because he is not a drunken fat slogger we have heard only so much about him.
Perhaps if he slices his hand open in a bar, gets caught with weed, or gives a press conference about his sexuality we will care about him.
New Zealanders never really get a lot press.
Shane Bond was a demon from hell, and yet, his defection got more headlines than the 21 times he tore Australia’s heart out and ate it.
If Brendan McCullum were English they would dedicate monuments to him, knight him, find him a pop star girlfriend and ruin him in the space of 2 months.
What about the Perfect boyfriend Jacob Oram, a man so grand if he were Sri Lankan he would be given Colombo.
Ofcourse if Lou Vincent were Australian, we would disown him and send him to some lesser country and let him play for them.
New Zealand is still a test playing nation, the england found that out the hard way.
That was just after South Africa all but proved they weren’t one.
But they are still the number 3 ranked one day side in the world, and I’m sure if you search long and hard enough someone will care about that fact.
They aren’t even as rubbish as I, and everyone else in the cricket world is saying.
But that doesn’t mean that anyone gives a sh1t about Tim Southee.
Yet.
