First Gerard Denton comes to Victoria, and in the three games he is fit he takes like 80 wickets.

Then he retires.

Only to then un-retire and sign back with Tasmania.

Then his former Tasmanian new ball partner, the also always injured Damien Wright signs with Victoria.

Is there some Tasmanian fast bowling rehabilitation plan going on in Victoria at the moment?

Is Ben Hilfenhaus next.

Why Victoria need near crippled Tasmanian bowlers is beyond me.

Peter Sizzle, Dirty Dirk, Crazy Clint Mackay, and Eyelids seem like a good roster to me.

And none of them are in any danger of playing for Australia.

Should Victoria continue to take the tassie quicks, can we make requests, cause I really like Brett Geeves.

I don’t care if he has been rubbish in the IPL.

And not in the cool whipping you kind of way.

She all but takes you to the the promise land, and then Travis the turtle Birt (former Victorian no hoper) gets an edge for 3.

I feel hollow inside, if Natalie Portman were in front of me right now, naked with a bottle of Canadian club, I couldn’t muster up the energy to have a drink, let alone avail myself of her nakedness.

Do you understand the depth of my sorrow.

Losing a game of cricket happens.

Losing a final against Tasmania happens (occasionally).

Losing a final against Tasmania when they are 9 wickets down and Byrce McGain is spinning a web of destruction at the other end does not just fu©ken happen.

Victoria decided on not batting in this game, David Hussey (sign the petition) aside.

For full post read here.

Western Australia played Tasmania in Hobart (thats not the weird part).

By stumps on day 3 (of a 4 day match) the Western Warriors were 310 runs in front.

Obviously a declaration after some heavy hitting in the first hour or so was going to follow.

Instead the Warriors batted for another 50 overs declaring at tea, pretty much draining the game of life.

Now if you had a wrist spinner in your side, and he was essentially playing for his spot in the first test, wouldn’t you give him a crack at a team needing 350 on the last day of a pitch that generally wrist spinners like?

Who gives themselves one session to bowl a team out?

Then when Western Australia get out into the field, for their one session, Brad Hogg doesn’t even bowl one over.

Not one, Hussey bowled two, but Hogg, none.

On top of that, the whisper around the campfire is that Hogg has a finger infection.

If Western Australia had won, they would have been two points off top position.

So, um, what the fu(c)k is going on?

If he is injured, why has this not made the news yet?

Are they keeping him with a good average so he is more likely to be picked?

Have Tom Moody and Adam Voges started taking LSD?

Is this a conspiracy against Cricket with balls own Bryce McGain?

I need answers people.

Queensland (new texas) v Tasmania

Qld really let themselves down with this one, Tassie and Victoria are always susceptible early in the season up north. early on it looked like Noffke with his 5 wickets then his amazing century was going to win the game on his own. Then Michael Di Venuto stepped up, he batted for a day and a half making 178 and dragging Tasmania to a draw they didn’t deserve.

The balls: When you get a good team on the ropes you have to finish them, Queensland really need the out right here, but in the second dig, when the wicket was flatter they struggled. According to Big daddy Noffke will be playing for Australia soon. I don’t think so.

Victoria v South Australia

This wasn’t a game. For the redbacks (sa) it was more like they were caught naked in their backyard with a tub of margarine. David Hussey smote them, Wade withstood them, Nannes, Siddle and Denton cut them down. Jason Gillespie top scored in both innings (with 18 in the second dig of 77). The redbacks bowling was fine, they were beaten by a good batting line up. Hussey made 176 for the game for one out. Their batting is shit house, I’m talking battlefield earth bad. Gillespie and Elliott were the only batsmen to provide résistance, and they are both over 30. For the bushrangers (vics) their no name bowling line up was pretty damn good again

The balls: The Vics are a damn good team, the redbacks are not, and they have the welt marks on their ass to prove it. David Hussey best number 4 in the country? Ponder that mofo’s.

Western Australia v New South Wales

Damn I hate New South Wales, the minute I finished writing they were shit they come out and shit all over the warriors (wa). The blues (nsw) look crap on paper, and they struggled early on. They were only saved by a hundred by of all people Matthew Nicholson who is look spritely for an 83 year old. From that century onwards this was the blues game. Their quicks destroyed the warriors, then Jacques went in and won the opening slot for Australia. In the second dig for the warriors they fell apart again, with the oldest young man on the planet, Bollinger, getting a five for.

The balls: How shit are the warriors? Pretty shit. How good are the blues? Who knows. Has Jacques done enough to start at the top of the order for the Aussies, you’d say so.

Lucky the rain came before Tasmania could get really kinky with them.

Tim Paine batted at 7 and made 70 odd. Oh yeah baby. Brad Haddin & Chris Hartley take one step back please Australia has its new wicket keeper.

Timothy Paine, professor of entomology.

So heres my follow up on the next two teams in aussie domestic cricket.

South Australia-

Very youthful squad. But they’ve been youthful for a long time now. The word promising is only used before your name for so long. They have the three old boys Lehmann, Elliott (traitor) and Dizzy Gillespie. And then a truckload of hopefuls that are either too fat, or not ready yet to make the next level.

Batsmen are their biggest concern, Cosgrove can bat, but he’s out of shape. Adcock, Ferguson and Borgas have had wraps on them for quite a while. They look like cricketers, but no real results. Manou is a battler who plays above himself probably the least talented keeper in the country, but he fights on regardless. Lehman and Elliott will provide the backbone, and Elliott is essentially playing as an assistant coach.

In the Bowling the have the two most exciting spinners in the country. Problem is for South Australia Bailey and Cullen haven’t won them many games. This is the year, I’d play them both, play an all rounder, probably Cleary, and Gillespie. Add another decent quick and that’s a more than useful make up. Their bowling has been their strength of recent times, but when Tait is fit he won’t be playing for them.

The rub is that they could be anything, but probably wont be. The minute Cullen or Bailey takes wickets they’ll be in the Australian side. If Elliot plays all year, that means their young batsmen still haven’t stepped up and they won’t finish anywhere. Likely finish 4-6.

Tasmania-

For years the shit kickers of state cricket, but all of a sudden look like they could win everything. Hilfenhaus, Butterworth and Paine are all good enough to be10 year players for Australia. They are the reigning champions, they are young, they are hungry, and this may be the last year they all get to play together before their big three depart.

Their batting looks average on paper. But on the ground looks fierce. Di Venuto is one of those dudes that could have had an long international career for most other countries. Dighton, Birt and Bailey are unknowns, but they are all very talented at waving their bats around. Paine is the man, if the Australian selectors could find the balls they had when they selected McGrath, Warne, Steve Waugh and Ponting, he will be Australians next wicket keeper. He bats well enough to be a number 3 in the pura cup winning team, his keeping is better than Gilchrist. What’s not to love?

Bowling wise it’s all about Hilfenhaus at this stage. This boy could single-handedly revive the lost art of out swing bowling. If Lee or Johnson don’t get wickets against Sri Lanka this boy simply must be picked. Butterworth is still too raw to know whether he is a first change bowler or a third change bowler, but he can play and this year they expect big things from him. Damian Wright is still a classy bowler, and gets more wickets than higher profile players. Xavier Doherty is a good spinner, I’ve liked him since I first saw him. Left arm orthodox is not taken seriously in Australia, hopefully X man (it would have to be his nick name, wouldn’t it) can revive it and put some pressure on those South Australian spinners.

The rub is that if this team stays healthy, even without Hilfenhaus they should win the title, only the Victorians or the Queenslanders have the lists to stretch them. Likely finish 1-2.