Porn star: MS Dhoni

Most IPL fans probably only know MS Dhoni is in the team, everyone else is irrelevant. The most in form one-day batsman on the planet, and will want this title. Is the main man in this team in every way, and will get the press whether he performs or not.

Pole dancer: Suresh Raina

Was in devastating form last season, and now has more experience at the top level. There is nothing of him, but he still hits the ball very hard. Every chance he will take the IPL apart this year.

Boy next door: Napoleon Einstein

May not even play but is a cult figure already.

Model: Freddie Flintoff

Very well suited to playing 2020 cricket, but is recovering from injury, with an eye on the ashes, and around for about a fortnight, Hardly worth it. Might sell some shirts back home.

Home Made/Amateur: MS Gony.

Hard working quick, can really bowl and has a great back-story.