Being conscientious types, we at CWB feed don’t spend our rain breaks sat on the sofa doing nothing. Oh no. We use the time to get to the heart of the day’s issues. Which is why we worked our collective nuts off to secure an interview with Daryl Harper:
CWB: So, Daryl, tell us about that Smith decision
Harper: Hello?
CWB: How does it feel to have committed one of the biggest cock-ups in umpiring history?
Harper: Is there anyone there?
CWB: Can you hear us?
Harper: Oi, lackey, I thought you said those cunts from Cricket With Balls were on the line?
CWB: We are! Can you hear us.
Harper: Well, I’m not sitting here with this stupid headset on all day, I’ve got cake to eat.
CWB: Daryl, you thick git, turn the volume up!
Harper: Nope, still can’t hear anyone.
CWB: Turn. The. Volume. Up.
Harper: No-one there. Right…
CWB: TURN THE VOLUME UP!
Harper:…I’m off to see how many sandwiches you can stuff into Steve Davis before he explodes.
CWB: Oh, for fucks sake…
