Tagged with sreesanth …

Oct 23 2007
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Arjuna will look after you murali, go sit on his knee

Let me just make this crystal clear, there will be dickheads who racially taunt someone this summer in Australia.

Arjuna is right about that.

Why, because people are cock heads, and when cock heads drink they say stupid shit.

But Murali is a special case, he wont just be racially abused, in fact he may be racially abused less than others. In Australia from the time he touches down till the time he leaves he will be called a chucker.

Ganguy will be called a prick.

Sreesanth will be called a loud mouth.

Dhoni, um let me see, pretty boy.

Malinga is a girl.

And so on and so forth.

In Australia racism still has its moments, but most of us would much prefer to call Ganguly a dickhead and Murali a chucker, as its more personal.

Also there will be signs at the cricket for the Indian games that say, “Who’s minding the Kwik E Mart” and “Who’s drivin the taxis tonight?”.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Oct 15 2007
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general balls

Symonds v sreesanth smack down 82 this time its personal

Hey someone just told me Australia just won some series type thing, any of you dudes or dudettes hear about it?

I was too busy talking to the WCW about a grudge match between the Monkey and the howling wolf.

The pre fight entertainment will be Andrew Flintoff rowing through Paul Collingwood’s strippers.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Oct 11 2007
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ind v aus 5 score card thoughts

I wonder what Sreesanth said to the Australians as Mitchell Johnson took India’s pants off, bent them over, and then spanked them until their cheeks were red.

This just goes to show that you can’t just poke a lion. You can take it out for dinner, maybe a movie, some dancing and then try and poke it. But you can’t just poke it.

When Johnson is on game, he is down right brutal. If he can stay fit and focused he is going to torment a lot of top orders.

Nice to see the Indian team celebrating Tendulkar’s 4ooth game by letting him top score, how nice was that.

They say the wicket was a little tricky early on, must have flattened amazingly fast for the last wicket partnership of 40 odd and then Gilchrist hitting all those sixes.

9 wicket victories are hard to come back from, cause it means you batted real shit, and then you bowled without venom.

Dhoni is an interesting character, Australia’s wickets were pretty much all taken by the quicks. Yet he opens with the non vulgar Harbhajan tweaking them. It’s either genius, gutsy or nuts, but it didn’t work. So who cares?

The best India can hope for now is a draw, and that Australia don’t take their lunch money.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Oct 10 2007
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12th man sledging


Sreesanth has officially lost the plot.

I’m all for sledging. Hell it was probably my best cricketing skill. But sledging as 12th man, dude your not even in the 11. And the bloke your sledging just smashed your team all around the park.

Sledging is about picking your moments, and delivery.

Error 1 Delivery & Timing.

If your so angry at the world you think you need to sledge from 12th man don’t go up into his face and say haha, now you have lost the game you big poo head.

Just as you casually move past him, you say just loud enough that he will hear it, whoops, big mistake, or damn, there goes that game. The only proof of the sledge should be Symonds looking over his shoulder and swearing.

Error 2 target.

Why on Johnny Cash’s green earth would you want to fire Symonds up further?

He’s averaging 65 in this series at better than a run a ball. Is this the man you want to give more reasons to kick your teams ass.

It’s like poking a bull before you get in the ring with it. Actually its like having sex with a girl and yelling out another girls name and holding on for the best sex ever. It seems like a good idea at the time, it’s only afterwards you realise you may have made the mistake.

Most importantly this is hurting India. Sreesanth is firing up the two batsmen (if you attack Roy you attack Hayden) who can destroy India.

Other than these two there is only one other batsmen averaging over 25 for the series.

So Sreesanth take them out for a beer, take them to a Bollywood premiere, propose to Roy (he’s single now) for fucks sake, India needs you to grow the fuck up.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Oct 05 2007
5 Comments
general balls

scorecard commentary aus v ind 3

Let me give you some score card analysis on the 3rd one dayer between Australia and India I haven’t seen.

Bracken wasn’t rushed back in, which is fair enough as the team is hardly struggling. This meant hopes played again, and we all know I’m happy about that.

Haddin was dropped for Ponting. Which is ridiculous. Hodge looks like a kid swimming in Jaws and Haddin looks like Roy Schneider killing the fucken shark.

Hodge is struggling, Haddin is smashing them, but lets stay with Hodge because he’s been in the team longer and he may play test cricket. Give me a fucken break. This may be the last time you hear me say a New South Welshman should be in the team instead of a Victorian, so savour it people.

I hope I didn’t say anything nice about Haddin as I haven’t seen any dates with hot English actresses yet.

Roy smashed them again, just another reason why you don’t agitate quality batsmen.

Hayden, ditto.

Sreesanth, you went for plenty again. Time to rethink the Adam Sandler routine.

The off spinning bowling Singh bowled and batted well, I think he likes a bit of vulgar language. Perhaps in the bed room too.

All the Australian bowlers did well. None of them got smashed, unless you count Hodge, and I don’t. Moving on.

Powar didn’t play, what a shame, I had some new rantunga jokes about him.

Yuraj made runs, I hate the fact I didn’t see that. Bet it was good, the boy has something, and I love him in a completely non sexual way. He bats more like Pakistani than an Indian. He has a swagger, I could see him in a western opposite Harry Carey or John Wayne.

I’m pretty happy I don’t have to watch this series, but anytime I miss batsmen like Singh and Roy make runs. Those are the special one day games. Hussey and Dravid can score runs in a million one dayers and I’m not interested, but Singh and Roy make one day cricket entertaining, and that’s hard to do.

Like Bill Lawry tried to do. (Heres a picture of Megan Fox, in Transformers, for Bill).

Australia 2-0 my 4-2 prediction is looking shaky.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Oct 03 2007
general balls

Dhoni and his pants

After this series between the aussies and the Indians I think sreesanth, Roy and haydos should sit down and talk about fishing, cooking and I don’t know something sreesanth likes, boxing?

Then a group hug I think.

Seriously fellas none of us are taking this series seriously, why are you?

Ofcourse the truth is this series does mean shit, but it’s not the series these angry young men are playing for. To put it simply, the Indians want to move in on the Aussies turf, and the Aussies are planning on defeating the Indians before the test series starts in Melbourne.

This series is taken about as seriously as the Golden Globes, but every one wants to win the Globe so they can be the front runner for the Oscar.

Lets break down the 3 innings so far.

Dhoni’s captaincy was looking awesome, then Australia put pressure on his bowlers and he looks more like Stephen Fleming now, looking for people to fill holes everywhere. Now he needs more arms than Krishna (first Hindu reference).

Haddin, Hayden and Roy are looking pretty good. Hodge is a weakness but will be replaced shortly. Maybe Australia should look at brining MacGill back, so he and Sreesanth can have hissy fits together.

The Indian top order looked good, but suddenly the old men have shifted the balance. Their walking frames are slowing the Indians down in the field too.

The Indian bowling was their main weapon in the 2020. Now they have been dismantled twice in a row, the fast bowling Singh looks a but intimidated, Sreesanth is going to far, attacking the aussies is great, giving them shit balls to attack you back on is your problem. Even Nel knows that.

So Australia is winning the battle so far. India will re group though, Sreesanth will learn to curb himself, Singh will bowl some good spells and maybe even the batting line up will learn to bat with the old dudes.

Problem is for India. Australia are still not full strength, you don’t wanna get pantsed in your home country by anyone just after you win your first major piece of silverware since Dev’s mullet was cool. Especially since Hussey, Rick, Watson and Bracken haven’t been a presence here.

Dhoni may come out of this series ok, that isn’t his problem however. His problem is when he gets to Australia, down here we are vicious on touring captains, we have destroyed many a leader of cricket sides. And without McGrath and Warne we will be even more abusive, domineering and downright annoying to Dhoni.

Hopefully Dhoni is not next.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Oct 03 2007
5 Comments
general balls

Australia vs India Match 2

I have to be honest and admit that I didn’t see much of the second one dayer between Australia and India as the match started at 1pm eastern standard time in Australia. Unfortunately, some of us have to work for a living!! Having said that I am glad I had to work.

I managed to catch the gripping conclusion as Damien Fleming made a pretty strong case that India could still win although they needed 8 an over off the last twelve with 3 wickets in hand and Dhoni the only guy capable of holding a bat left at the wicket.

Very disappointing day for the game of cricket when the most noteworthy events that made highlight packages were the ugly confrontations between several members of both sides……who will remain nameless…….

Reminded me of many other matches between Australia and sub continental sides that have turned nasty. I hope I am wrong, but there seems to be a trend. Whether Australia is still viewed by the rest of the world as just your average tall poppy that needs slashing or is it the fact India have just come off a major international tournament win (I’m still not convinced it counts) and may have been viewed as a rising threat that needed some mental manipulation before the Australian summer by the Aussies. Would be interested in your views out there in Uncle J-Rod land…….

None the less, this match just reinforced my point of a blog ago that these sort of contests don’t do anything for anyone associated with the game. India batted poorly and unfortunately Sachin failed again and he would be advised to put in a phone call to Chris Grant………

The game had a fitting end as Dhoni refused singles to expose Sreesanth to the strike, something I haven’t seen in one dayer…….particularly when they needed 10 an over. To seal the deal he nearly killed Sreesanth with a slog down the ground and the farce was completed as Gilchrist showed more concern for Sreesanth’s helmet than he did the individual.

Bottom line – save the niggly agro crap for the first morning of the First Test in November when there is something actually on the line.

Monday night I witnessed the first half of the first one dayer between England and Sri Lanka and was pleased to see the stunning form of one of all time favourite non Australian players Sanath Jayasuriya. What a freak he is at 38. Made a typical Jayasuriya 41. Set the platform for what can only be described as restrained, pedestrian 269 from the time Jayasuriya was out. Disappointing considering the bowling was moderate to say the least. No Flintoff and Broad is still very raw and finding his feet at this level.

England was England and capitulated for 159 (luckily I didn’t have to witness this as I went to bed) although a noteworthy debut was made by England’s keeper, a guy named Mustrard……..yep…….Mustard, who put in a tidy effort behind the stumps and contributed some spunk at the top of the order before he was out for a 30 odd off 20 balls. The walkers came in next (Bell and Collingwood) and that must have been that…..

Keep an eye out bloggers for what sounds like the makings of an interesting Test in Pakistan were South Africa are taking on the home nation at the moment.

Uncle J-Rod…….I am too intrigued by Dinnie………

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Oct 02 2007
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india v aus game 2

I’m not going to pretend to have seen the game.

Sime has, so he can tell you about it.

But I will comment on the scorecard.

Hodge failed again, he must surely have lost his spot now. Hussey and Ponting to come back in, Hodge is struggling. But I don’t really like him, so I can handle that.

Roy made some runs, good for Roy, got to bat with his fishing partner Haydos, they like batting together.

Haddin, 12 more innings like that in his next 14 matches and I’ll call off the Keira date I’ve asked for. I’m thinking more Kate Winslet now anyway.

Sreesanth didn’t get his 5 wickets, he got three but they went for plenty.

Ranatunga junior (Powar) bowled crap again and Dhoni doesn’t seem to wanna bowl him a full 10.

Australia won pretty fucking easily.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Sep 24 2007
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Sreesanth's howls

This dude has got to learn how to appeal without pissing off umpires. He is going to lose most of his match fees if he keeps going on like a tosser. Not to mention the fact umpires don’t like to be yelled at for long periods of time when they have already moved on.

Umpires like to be courted. Like virgins, or classy girls.

My dad always said appeal nicely the first time, but then on your way back to your mark suggest to the umpire that it was probably going down leg and that it was a good decision. But on the next appeal yell like you just caught your dick in a blender. Trust me it works. Appealing is an art, not a test of how loud you are. Perhaps next time Sreesanth walks past the umpire he could say, “hey beautiful, just talking to my kids, the back door is open”.

My dad, was an out swing bowler who got more lbw’s than a Terry Alderman tour to England. Unfortunately me being a leg spinner it didn’t work as well for me, but i still got a few i shouldn’t have.

Sreesanth should look into it. As far as I’m aware my dad never patented it.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Sep 24 2007
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Sreesanth’s howls

This dude has got to learn how to appeal without pissing off umpires. He is going to lose most of his match fees if he keeps going on like a tosser. Not to mention the fact umpires don’t like to be yelled at for long periods of time when they have already moved on.

Umpires like to be courted. Like virgins, or classy girls.

My dad always said appeal nicely the first time, but then on your way back to your mark suggest to the umpire that it was probably going down leg and that it was a good decision. But on the next appeal yell like you just caught your dick in a blender. Trust me it works. Appealing is an art, not a test of how loud you are. Perhaps next time Sreesanth walks past the umpire he could say, “hey beautiful, just talking to my kids, the back door is open”.

My dad, was an out swing bowler who got more lbw’s than a Terry Alderman tour to England. Unfortunately me being a leg spinner it didn’t work as well for me, but i still got a few i shouldn’t have.

Sreesanth should look into it. As far as I’m aware my dad never patented it.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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