Has never been in a French New Wave film. After making 166 in his second test he said, “I guess I have a lot to live up now.” Hasn’t yet lived up to it, making two fifties since then. His batting is perhaps too pretty to be real. Sort of like watching a young Sugar Ray Robinson in the dusk light filmed on a 16mm cam. His footwork is breathtaking, but has been used mainly to walk to and from the wicket of late. Was verbally fellated by Ian Chappell so much after his hundred that many believe this is the reason for his loss of class. Has never had the nickname, “cricket’s Justin Bieber”.
cricket with balls
just another bullshit cricket blog
Tagged with south africa player profiles …
balls profile: Dale Steyn
While many talk about the speed and swing that Dale Steyn bring to the game that make him the world’s most destructive bowler, I can’t look past his upper lip. Even when Steyn has shaved in the morning, by lunch he seems to have a shadow on the lip. A thick shadow. It hypnotises me, drawing me in when others may be focusing on cricket. What could he be if he just let that moustache grow? Until he grows that tache, I can’t really judge him as a player. Dale Steyn probably deserves a better profile than this.
balls profile: Mark Boucher
No player is more like a reliable station wagon than Mark Boucher. Holds the records for the most dismissals as a wicket keeper in test cricket. Has done this without being a particularly great wicket keeper. He is also not much of a batsman. Yet there he is, behind the stumps, being all Boucher like. Plucky, game, in for a scrap and more likeable than the whole team combined. He is one hell of a cliche generator. Right now I want to call him someone I would go to war with. I’d love to hate him, but he just seems to ballsy. If you were picking a cricketer to date your sister, you could do worse than Boucher. His friendship to Kallis has been ignored for this profile.
balls profile: Morne Morkel
There was a time when Morne Morkel was thought of as a potential all rounder, now he bats at 11. He reminds me of a German shepherd I once owned. It was a big strong animal that would scare anyone who saw it, but it was also afraid of butterflies. Is proper scary on a good day, pace and bounce both come out of his large featureless appearance. Of all modern test bowlers with any real skill, he is the most likely to bowl an over that would embarrass someone bowling for the first time. Says he wants to model himself on Glenn McGrath, only recently has that become clear that he meant with his batting.
balls profile: Hashim Amla
When he first came into cricket his batting was overshadowed by his beard. Now his beard is overshadowed by his batting. Has the patience of a well trained robot. Is stylish, but not in a wow he is stylish way. Has mastered the rare art of understated batting sexiness. Makes lots of runs in a row, then hibernates in bad form for a while. Could one day be captain, or, a stylish lawyer who defends the undefendable. His favourite commentator is not Dean Jones.
