Tagged with sourav ganguly …

May 09 2008
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Future PM & Giant Alien LIzard

Last night I watched a little IPL.

8 overs to be exact.

Mostly because 3 Victorians were playing.

Was happy to see Kallis had been dropped from the Royal old dudes.

Was a little confused to see Misbah had also been dropped.

Hodge went out early for Kolkata, but I no mind.

But I did have to watch Ganguly bat with the Future PM David Hussey.

This was an interesting moment in my life.

At one end is the Giant Alien Lizard himself.

At the other end is the David Hussey.

So I watched my love hate partnership.

At times I felt ill.

At times I was erect.

At times I was mildly amused.

And then I fully orgasmed when none other than the big bear Cameron White ran out the Giant Alien Lizard (who has a strike rate of less than a run a ball in the IPL).

With the Giant Alien Lizard out of there Future PM let loose.

For about 3 balls.

2 of them were sixes off Kumble.

The other was the ball he hit to fine leg where there was only one run, and tried to make it two runs.

The third umpire made a terribly correct decision and he was out.

I went to bed content that Future Pm can hit 2 sixes of Kumble, and that he out scored the Giant Alien Lizard.

Later on Cameron White was also starring, and then he got run out.

You’re not playing for Victoria now boys, those sorts of disastrous calamities will not be tolerated.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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May 02 2008
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Welcome to the past

A very intelligent man once said “There’s no fighting in the war Room”.

Think about it.

Getting international athletes to sign spirit of cricket waivers is nonsense.

Warne would sell his soul to win a cricket game.

Ganguly probably already has.

They had a tiff.

But Ganguly went out next over, so it doesn’t matter who was right or wrong, scoreboard says Ganguly out, Hasselhoffs lose.

Spirit of cricket my anus.

The only thing Warne knows about cricket is how to win at it.

The only thing Ganguly knows about cricket, is that it has made him famous.

If this is a real competition, and the players are playing like it is.

Then players like Warne and Ganguly aren’t gonna play nice.

They are gonna play hard, to the death, because they don’t like losing.

Just as it should be.

Sorry IPL if the game of cricket gets in the way of the cheerleaders, but cricketers are competitors, mostly, and this is what they do.

But now it’s over lads.

Warne, you sledged him, and he fell for it.

Ganguly, you’re out, you lost.

Pick up your hand bags ladies, we don’t need any more slaps in the IPL.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Apr 20 2008
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Future PM at it again

David Hussey had to guide his side to victory after it collapsed chasing a small target on a dodgy pitch.

For the Future PM , this was business as usual.

His team bowls out opposition for low score, Victoria does that every second game.

His team completely loses the plot chasing a low score, every time.

His team loses the plot because the pitch is so damn dodgy, every game at the MCG.

Future Pm rectifies this by hitting sixes and fours towards the death just to make sure the team doesn’t sweat too much, it’s liek freakin dejavu, except with the bad plot and stupid special effects.

Although, I would have liked to think the Victorians could have added a bit more drama to the game with a comical run out and a tail ender hitting his first ball straight up in the air a well.

Future PM’s brother, King Probot, might go okay on flat wickets, but the Future Pm has been smiting attacks around for years on the dodgiest wicket in Australia.

Now he has been shipped to India on a kabillion dollar contract and he single handedly made Sourav Ganguly look much less sh1te.

This was the first IPL game that was sort of close.

It wasn’t all the way close, but it did almost make it to the last over, even if the Hasselhoffs had 5 wickets in hand.

Sourav decided not too open, probably because the pitch looked dodgy.

The Adam’s Apple of Sharma was still pointy, and over all the Australians dominated the game with the top 3 scores.

Usually I would be down heartened that my team, the mighty brave Deccan Chargers, lost in their battle, to the death, with the Hoffs, but the future PM got to show everyone how great he is, so I am as happy as Sourav watching someone else do the hard work.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Apr 12 2008
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lizard licks up the runs

We have a test match.

South Africa never let India get away.

But conversely the Giant Alien Lizard feasted on the not so green pitch and ended up with another foreplay innings.

If Ganguly was the sort of batsman who made big hundreds India would be in a smoking position.

I do love to bag Ganguly, but let me say this, perhaps all he needed was a kick up the @ss.

Since his Chappell exile he has turned into a batsman of sorts.

He still goes out way too much after a start, and still doesn’t like the ball coming on quick and short.

Perhaps if someone in his first 30 odd years hadn’t molly coddled him, he could have been a proerp version of the big three, not just thought he was.

Guess we will never know.

Still thinking India for this test, but I can be easily swayed.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Apr 12 2008
general balls

the plot thickens

The Evil Morne Morkel charges in, while his white cat is being held by his equally evil non Albino twin brother Albie.

He strikes three times at the jugular, cutting India down and ending the innings of the polite almost doctor Laxman whilst he was trying to resuscitate a shaky beginning.

Now the final show, in oen corner is Morne Morkel, and in the other isIndia’s enigmatic gun slinger Yuvraj, with the comic relief provided by the giant alien lizard Ganguly.

Who will win, who will lose, who will stroke the white cat last…..

Stay tuned to another confusing cross film related load of rubbish from cricket with balls…

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Mar 04 2008
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how i sees em 2

Steve Waugh – he is one of those army sergeants no one wants around unless something goes wrong. The generals don’t like him, and the young privates feel weird drinking around him.

Ricky Ponting – bats like he is Paul Newman. Walks around like a self aware 19 year old.

Saurav Ganguly – bats like a stuck up private school kid who has had caviar in his play pen. When its easy, he’s good, when its hard he’s on the golf course.

Rahul Dravid – fights at the crease like a human fighting off the giant insect alien hordes coming to destroy earth.

Inzamam Ul Haq – bats as if time is not a construct.

Mohammad Yousuf – bats like a tight ass. You get the feeling every run is a vital cog in his self esteem.

Brian Lara – plays the game like he is the most talented kid in the park.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Jan 28 2008
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Australia destroy India with Crushing Draw

…
Spectators at the Radelaide Oval said they had never seen such a brutal draw in all the tests they had visited.

India were confused at Australia playing for a draw, but they decided to go with it as they are comfortable with draws.

Ian Chappell was heard to say it was one of the best draws the great Les Burdett has cultivated in his time at the Radelaide Oval.

He said it reminded him of a first class game where the great Les Favell drew a game against Victoria.

Anil Kumble said he was happy with the spirit that Ganguly didn’t walk with.

Ponting was quite impressed with how Michael Clarke positioned himself at slip.

Gilly went out of his way not to mention Michael Slater in any press conference.

Sehwag didn’t say anything to the media in case he would get dropped for another few tests.

Matthew Hayden thanked jesus for Gilly, Mark Nicholas prostrated himself in front of Gilly like he was Jesus.

And Bill Lawry left quietly with something flapping in his suit case.

Ps, Shane Watson has been promoted to the role of wicketkeeper for Queensland for the rest of the year. Sime was heard to say,

“Lets be honest, he’s a surefire selection now.”

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Jan 23 2008
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The Ben Folds/Carl Hooper test

India

Think I’ve made my opinions on 5 bowlers clear enough.

The Indians are saying all the right words about Ganguly’s one day axing.

Surely it caused some angst, you can’t pretend it didn’t, timing is important in comedy and selections.

But in this modern day of professional positive speaking, Dhoni and Kumble have only said what a bunch of over priced psychologists would have wanted them to say.

“It has not affected us in any way”

It has affected you in at least one way, the answering of the question.

But his answer means one of two things, either he is lying, possibility.

Or no one in the Indian team likes Ganguly, possibility.

People may not be surprised to hear this, but I think axing Ganguly was the correct decision.

That is not based on form or the fact I don’t rate him, but more on his age and the fact all teams should be finding their line ups for the 2011 world cup.

Australia included, if Hayden, Gilly and Hogg can’t guarantee they will be available for selection in that tournament they should be axed too.

One day cricket is meaningless unless it’s a world cup.

It’s like the Olympics, no one cares who you beat the month before, just the fortnight when the advertisers spend millions.

Australia

Either Ponting is playing mind games, or he may have lost his mind.

Does he really want to play 4 quicks again?

I have no doubt Tait will bowl better this test if picked, but is that a good enough reason to pick him.

Australia’s balance looks off with 4 quicks, as I’ve said before, we aren’t South Africa, we don’t swing that way.

However, they showed some footage on the television of Tait bowling to some aussie left hander in the nets, and he got him out with a fiery delivery.

And Australia does like picking people for tests in their home state.

Ponting is also a big believer in net form, so maybe this was what swayed his mind. Plus he is so over Hogg, he is so last weeks news, and I am so glad.

Also Adelaide has a reputation, like the G, of reverse swing.

But I don’t understand why it matters if a wicket is reverse swing friendly or not, don’t you just give the bowlers mentos and it swings for you.

Oh and is it a coincidence Hayden is playing a test in the city of churches???

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Jan 14 2008
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that lucky bastard hogg

Anil Kumble has decided to withdraw the charges laid against Brad Hogg.

Apparently Ponting cannot withdraw his charges due to the ICC administracrats rulings.

Who knows if he would anyway.

While I am happy some of the junk from Sydney is over with, I am slightly disappointed that Hogg won’t be suspended.

Not for saying bastard, but for sledging guys with tens of thousands of test runs to their names.

I may not like Ganguly, but when you average 50 with the ball and your bowling to a guy who has managed to survive in test cricket as long as he has, you probably don’t need to mouth off when he doesn’t pick your flipper or wrong’un.

Hogg was running down the pitch after every slightly miss timed shot, play and miss, or anytime when the batsmen looked slightly uncomfortable, like a crazed postal worker.

He was like an unfunny version of Andre Nel, and who needs that.

I’m all for sledging, but running down the wicket and yelling at someone in a humourless way is just boring.

The Hogg Vs Ganguly war so far in the series has me confused. On one hand, I’m happy that Ganguly hasn’t made a century, but on the other hand, I’m angry that Hogg keeps getting him out.

How can I hate Hogg if he continues to get Ganguly out?

It may haunt me for years to come.

Ganguly on current form should make a hundred in perth, he won’t ,cause its quick and bouncy, but he’s seeing the ball well, and should have made at least one hundred in this series already.

And Hogg, well he will be suspended by the selectors for this test, cause he aint Tait, but he will probably come back in for Johnson in Adelaide, and my mind will be in a state of confusion again.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Dec 29 2007
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game over man, game over

Final day wrap up.

India fail all psychological exams.

Johnson and Hogg book next test.

Ganguly almost proves he has mettle.

The G holds up pretty well for a cr@p pitch, ie no shooters.

Australia win easily, very easily, extrememly easily, really fu(c)ken easily.

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