“I prayed and prayed and asked God to give me the strength to hit that ball out of the ground.”
Is what the Chrab Chandrepaul did before hitting a six off the last ball.
Lucky he wasn’t a Voodoo practicer, or even worse an atheist, because then good would have smited him, and he may have only hit a 4.
We all know an atheist couldn’t possibly hit a six off the last ball to win a game.
My question for you to ponder on this Sunday arvo is quite simple?
If Marlon Samuels was your dog, what would you to with him?
Have him put down?
Kick him up the @ss daily?
Sit down with him and teach him about the ethics of hard work?
Send him out into the world to get a real job?
Feed him only the best cuts of cow?
Get a Pit bull and make him fight for mince meat everyday?
Get him several bitches and take one away every time he displeases you?
Get a cat?
Today Samuels comes out and makes the World Cup runners up look like a second class domestic attack.
Tomorrow he could make the same bowlers look like the Invincibles.
It looks like we will never see a consistent batsman, just flashes of great work in amongst all the crap he shovels.
But on the plus side, his good work with the chrab Chandrepaul has ensured the West Indies win the one day series.
Sure Sri Lanka never took this series seriously, but a win is a win.
Baby steps forward for the team once harshly called Tori Spelling by one cricket pundit.
If you had taken the double of the West Indies into South Africa in the most recently completed Test matches, you would be sitting on a pretty handy collect, even on a minimum outlay. For the non punters out there it was, a flat out, rough result.
Credit must go to the resolve of the West Indies, particularly the tough mainstays, Ramneresh Sarwan and Shivnarine Chanderpaul. In what appeared a very tense and evenly poised match up from the highlights, the West Indies held firm to secure a long awaited victory on home soil. Although the match didn’t reach any stunning heights skill wise, it was a reminder to use all how exciting Test cricket is. As Rome wasn’t built in a day, neither are Tests won in a similiar period of time, between two evenly matched sides, such as these.
Sarwan broke through for a well deserved hundred to lead the Windies to victory against a strong bowling line up which obviously includes Murali and the rejuvinated Chamnida Vaas, who kept them in the game almost single handly with both bat and ball. Vaas set up the chase with a 50 to recover the Lankans second innings from the very dicey realms of 6/99.
After a shaky start Sarwan and Chanderpaul, held their nerve to lead the West Indies to a confidence building win……………..
Sarwan may be on the cusp of delivering on the potential, he has displayed glimpses of for so long……with the Aussies on the horizon.
The West Indies are horrible.
We have all dealt with that.
But with if they are less horrible than say waking up with Tori Spelling on your shoulder.
In South Africa there have been signs that there is a cricket team hiding behind the guys in Maroon shirts.
They won a test, a rained reduced 2020 game, and then struggled in the one day series.
This is a team who has had Gayle & Sarwan missing for huge periods of time.
Lack of depth not withstanding, I think this very young team has something about them.
Devon Smith proved today, in this frustrating water soaked game, that he can bat. If you think he can’t bat, every time you see Smith pretend it’s Ganga.
Smith & Gayle at the top of the order. And with McGrath’s best mate Sarwan at 3, its something of a top 3. It’s not Cook, Vaughn and Bell (which is no hayden, jacques and Ponting) but it has flair, fight and unpredictability.
Following them is Chandrepaul, no point him batting any lower, especially as he is terrible batting with the tail and should be batting in the top four as the best batsman,
Samuels has shown signs on this tour that he actually cares and behind him is Dwayne Bravo. Samuels & Bravo obviously have talent, and from what I’ve seen of the replacements, you are better off dancing with these guys than finding a new partner.
Bravo would probably be a far better batsman if he wasn’t an all rounder, but an all rounder with his skill doesn’t come along all that often. Bravo is a more than decent bowler, and most importantly he is an all rounder who can actually take wickets. There isn’t many number 6 batsman who are as good with the ball as he is.
Ramdin is just a keeper and just a batsman, but he seems like a fighter, just a shame he is always in the wrong division. Also has a very tiny head, looks weird in a helmet.
Their bowling is not too shabby. Edwards, Powell and Taylor all have pace and what marketing execs refer to as the X factor. Edwards is a real favourite of mine, I think he’s a little nuts, and I react positively to that.
With the 4 quick bowlers in their side they can even pick a spinner, I’d probably suggest that spinner isn’t Rawl Lewis. Not because he is old, just because I can’t imagine a situation where he ever takes 3 wickets in a game. Perhaps if he invents a machine that turns test batsmen into swans he might get two, if the swans had no pads on.
In the short term Sammy is the 5th bowler, he can hold a bat, which makes up for the fact that Ramdin isn’t that good, and he bowls a good line and length, even if he does round out a quintet of seam bowlers.
On paper, which is the only place my imaginary West Indian side has played, they have more ability and way more match winning potential than New Zealand.
Ofcourse the Windies would kill for a side as mentally tough as the Kiwis. At this stage they kill for a side as mentally tough as Campbellfield under 14’s.
It may not be always pretty, and there are still going to be some Spelling type losses but every now and then they will beat a good side, lose to a sh1t side and in general do things that make Viv Richards wish he had hair to pull out.
They may never be Natalie Portman, but they may become an interesting Liv Tyler from time to time.
A 2nd favourite type side, that doesn’t beat your side, but you enjoy watching.
Marlon Samuels just scored his first hundred in 5 years, 2002/03 against India was the last.
Let me tell you about 5 years ago, I was dating a girl who had not yet faked a pregnancy or told me she was about to kill herself in order to win me back.
George Bush had not yet invaded Iraq.
Shaun Pollock was Captain of South Africa.
The last matrix film hadn’t come out.
Paris Hilton wasn’t famous.
Jacques Kallis had hair.
Aravinda de silva still played cricket.
Woody Allen lived in New York.
Rupert Murdoch was Australian.
Mel Gibson was a closet Christian.
Sime was a fish and chip magician.
And Big Daddy was single.
Also back then a young kid by the name of Marlon Samuels looked like he could be the next big thing from the Windies.
5 years on, and the Windies are now only better than Bangladesh and the Kiwis (debatable, but going on form in South Africa).
Their captain bats like a drunk Canadian woodchopper.
Their best batsmen is a man who seems to have had enough of carrying his pathetic team mates.
Their gun all rounder is a derringer.
Their bowling is less predictable than Robin Williams.
And the rest of their batsmen are grade cricketers who got lost on their way to real jobs.
The Windies are really really really sh1t. Tara Reid sh1t, Celine Dion sh1t, TORI SPELLING SH1T.
Their only hope in not being the worst real test nation is if New Zealand can’t field a team, which by my estimations will happen in 2011.
The worst thing was they got up our expectations by winning a test in South Africa, nothing could wipe the smile off my face, well until the 2nd test started and they got flogged.
Will that be the last test win they have away from home?
One day I will write a really positive article on Shivnarine Chanderpaul, today is not that day.
Sometimes in life you need to do things for the Greater Good, the Greater Good.
It’s like if you have a girl friend, and you think all her friends are pretentious w@nkers, and she asks you to go to a party at one of their houses. By not going to said party, you may anger your girlfriend, and sex may be withheld from you.
So even though you don’t want to spend a minute with these people, you understand that a few hours with them will give between 1 and 2 minutes of pure dirty lust filled joy with her.
Shivnarine needs to understand this principle.
We know that he doesn’t want to captain the Windies, he quit that job to concentrate on his batting.
This has worked out quite nicely for him.
But with Gayle injured, Sarwan not available and Frank Worrell dead, surely Shiv would have said, look, I don’t want to do this, but I understand that for one game, and one game only, I am the man who should lead my country, you know for the Greater Good, the Greater Good.
I would have thought, however incorrectly, that this is a sure thing to happen.
Apparently not.
Instead Dwayne Bravo is going to be captain, sure he is vice captain, but that was chosen to give his game focus, and surely not because he was giving invaluable tips to Gayle.
In the field of the last 2 tests I have hardly seen Gayle chat to Bravo.
I think Bravo is a gun player, who probably needs stick and carrot type handling, but being that he is 24 and has played in one test victory and Chanderpaul is almost as old as Bryce McGain and has played in over 100 tests, for this occasion perhaps Shiv might have been the better option.
I hope I’m wrong, cause if I’m wrong, South Africa might lose the series, and I will dance for 12 minutes straight if that happens.
But I won’t be getting my dancing shoes out just yet, with Gayle out and Edwards doubtful, I can’t see the Windies winning.
…
From time to time, I like to call South Africans evil.
I’m not sure if they are really evil, like say republicans or reality Tv producers, but they do seem to have a large proportion of people who are extremely hard to like.
Actually, how about I put it this way, they are probably evil in a cricket sense, but I’m sure they donate to charity, give bibles to poor children (who hopefully burn them for warmth) or help their maids carry out the bins.
Why was I talking about this, ok got it, Cape Town, Evil Empire vs the Windies.
Shivnarine “Lord Megachief” was still at the crease, he had just shared a partnership with Fidel Edwards, a man whose batting skill is questionable at best. Before today his average was below 4.
Ol SHiv decides to let Fidel take the strike (seen this before), and after playing and missing by at least 6 inches for about 10 balls I switched over to a film, a black & white Clooney film to be exact. Seen it before, but I hate to see South Africa win.
After a few minutes I switched back, somehow, against all logic, Fidel started to hit the ball and got himself to 20 odd.
The Evil empire were sledging him, probably a bit too much due to his number 11 skill level. I may be Australian, and I may love sledging, but any team who abuses a number 11 for getting away a few slogs is a bit low.
Unless it’s Victoria, they can do no wrong.
I flicked between Senator Joe attacking Ed Murrow, and Fidel swinging away like a drunken farmer. Both were hard to watch. Eventually he fell on his shovel.
This left the Windies with a 9 for a 110ish lead.
Even though Fidel was number 11, Chris Gayle came in next, he had retired hurt earlier in the innings, not content with his d1cky hammy, he had copped one on the glove from Nel which had shattered his thumb.
He said he would bat if necessary.
Apparently he deemed it necessary.
South Africa did what any team full of fast bowlers would have done, they bowled short and aimed at his broken thumb.
Problem is Gayle just swung away, in one over from Nel, he hit him for 16. Sometimes with just one hand on the bat.
He defended a ball from the left arm oddodox Paul Harris and winced, so next ball he slogged him over mid wicket.
Gayle then smashed Steyn for consecutive sixes, I mentioned he had a broken thumb didn’t I.
After the two sixes, Steyn gets Gayle caught on the rope at long on for 38 off 48 balls.
A 70 odd partnership with Lord Megachief.
Steyn then sends him off.
I sh1t you not, he sends off a batsmen who has just hit him for 12 runs in two balls with a broken thumb.
And it wasn’t a subtle Sreesanth send off. He turned and screamed at him, then other South Africans tried to push him off the field, and he continued to scream at him.
Gayle was Gayle, he looked pretty unfazed by it. But Steyn continued some sort of evil tirade against him.
How many batsmen in world cricket would bat with a newly fractured thumb?
Of the few who would, how many would hit 38 off 48 balls with at least 3 sixes (that I saw).
The man comes from the hospital to play when his country needs him, probably against all medical advice, and then he gets some short balls and puts them in the crowd, and they abuse him.
What sort of team is this?
I can understand frustration, I can understand a fast bowler getting angry, I can understand being hit for sixes (too well), but screaming at a guy who did what Gayle did is a pretty low act.
Another thing to add to my Evil South Africa list.
& another thing to add to my Chris Gayle is a cool mofo file.
Good Night & Good Luck.
…
I haven’t watched much of the South Africa vs West Indies test, about a session a night, but I do have some observations.
Either Shivnarine is a shocking batsman when playing with the tail, or he just can’t be bothered holding up his side any more.
Ntini never smiles. Not ever. And he is looking old, he looks older than Morgan Freeman in the Shawshank redemption.
Jacques Kallis has got fat, after all these years I finally have the physique of an international all rounder.
Dwayne Bravo is getting better, but he is not a test number 6.
Rawl Lewis is the worst test number 8 my father has ever seen.
Edwards, Powell, Bravo, and Taylor may not be the players of old, but on a pitch with a bit of life they are bloody good options.
Edwards or Taylor (it was late and I was tired) bowled 6 straight bouncers at Mark Boucher. Hit him twice. Possible my favourite over to a South African ever.
Paul Harris is an odd dude.
Andre Nel is insane. But also, he is the closest thing we have seen to Merv Hughes in years. Should be dropped for being too entertaining.
Steyn is a handy bowler, but when Gayle got going, Steyn lost the plot completely.
Steyn batted with a runner, and then bowled in the next innings. Ummm, wtf?
Its funny when a South African gets run out for 98. Even if it’s only Ashwell Prince.
Amla is actually more boring than Jacques Kallis, who knew that was possible?
Chris Gayle is still a cool mother fu©ker, even if he has a glass thumb and d1cky hammy.
Geoffrey is back, beware ladies.
Allan Donald should not be allowed to speak into a microphone.
I hate to bag a guy who is single handedly making his team not so ©rap, and its hard to do cause I know others that I respect hold him so dear, but sometimes you have to get your hands dirty.
Shivnarine Chanderpaul, the little boy made good, is probably holding up 4 batsmen that would struggle to get regular games for a Bangladesh A side.
He continually gets runs as his team mates fall down like disabled lemmings at a suicide club.
I can forgive his 65 off 223 balls, because sometimes you have to bat like that.
I can forgive him not hitting out when he was batting with the tail, because he may not have felt in that sort of form.
But I can’t forgive him leaving a regulation ball outside off stump from the last delivery of an over, with the number 11 (batting average of 4) standing at the other end.
If he did it without thinking, that’s sh1t cricket, but I don’t believe a 33 year old cricketer with over 100 tests to his name would not think to shield a number 11.
So what does that leave us with, did he decide he’d rather sure up his not out rather than try and push for a single, or was he just over protecting the tailenders.
It was a very poor effort from a class act.
Fidel Edwards went out the next over, he fell over defending a full straight ball, so maybe I should thank Shiv for giving me a laugh.
Fidel great name that, those wacky west indian parents sure know how to name their little ones.
In other Windie news, they may have only made 240 odd, but they have South Africa 4/120 with Kallis, Smith, Neil, and Deans Jones mate all out.
Exciting isn’t it.
